Saying No to Labels

After the Golden Globes last week, the New York Times fashion blog 'The Moment' called out (by name) certain actresses who appeared to be 'rounder.' The title of the article was Now Scrutinizing--A Rounder Golden Globes... how gross! While there are a million things that I want to say about that, in the interest of time, I will focus and try to be brief! The irony in such an article, of course, lies in the fact that all of the actresses named have been criticized at one time or another for being too thin. Mixed messages much? : )

Courtney Cox happened to be one of the women that was singled out for looking 'rounder' and her husband, David Arquette, publicly responded yesterday to the ridiculous comments that were made. Here is what he had to say-

"Writing articles about people that put on weight is just wasting space for real news," he told Fox News' Pop Tarts. "And who really cares? I love round people, I love skinny people. I love people in general; we've got to get past labels and stop being so critical about everything."

Well said. I love how he chose to respond. How is it that in a world where some really serious things are going on (think Haiti, healthcare issues, Afghanistan, ...) that any news publication is writing about actresses' weight fluctuations? That is just such an indicting commentary on what the majority of our culture values. While this article was in fact written on a blog, it is still associated with the New York Times.

Maybe even more noteworthy though is what Arquette said about labels. We really do have to get past labels, and our obsession with labeling ourselves and others. When you think about the people in your life that you care about, that you love, the people that have had the greatest impact upon you... you cannot sum them up in a label, nor would you want to. If we were to do that, we would miss out on SO much! When we find that we are tempted to view others or ourselves as a label and judge accordingly, maybe we can step back for a minute and ask what purpose this behavior is serving, and if it is helpful. To label anyone (including ourselves) does a great disservice to all. Our hearts cannot be labeled. We are so much more than our height, our hair color, our weight, our shoe size, ... so let's be sure to focus on the depth that makes us each unique and beautiful.

Figure Skating and Eating Disorders

There was a period of time (maybe in high school?) when I enjoyed watching figure skating. My mom has always liked watching it, so when I went to go hang out with her the other day, it didn't surprise me to find her curled up on the couch watching it. Anyways, I watched with her for awhile, but truthfully, I cringe when I watch skating because I just hate seeing the girls fall- and it seems like they all fall!! I have such a difficult time enjoying it because it seems like they work for hours and hours and years and years training, they miss their proms, and sacrifice having 'normal' lives, and one fall or misstep can dictate their futures. I know that is slightly dramatic of me to say. However, in a competitive situation like this, a tenth of a point can determine whether or not one will go to the Olympics after having trained for years. I just can't take the pressure!! Haha. Anyways, all that to say- it's been a looong time since I've watched any skating. And what I noticed as I watched was that this time around I was cringing for different reasons. If you have read my blog before, you probably know what is coming... but I was upset by how many of the skaters looked unhealthy. Because I sit with people on a daily basis who are in the middle of some pretty serious battles with eating disorders and body image issues, I see what they go through and know how difficult and distressing it can be. The fact that many competitive skaters likely struggle with eating disorders may not be a newsflash, but it is still very, very sad and concerning.

As in all sports, the body is a major instrument; a few sports in particular though (think gymnastics, running, skating) feature the body as the only instrument. In many of these sports and activities, the rates of eating disorders are soaring. The percentage of skaters with eating disorders is very high. A recent estimate stated that upwards of 85% of competitive figure skaters have eating disorders- that is a LOT. Jenny Kirk, a former competitive (and successful) figure skater, was interviewed recently by the Huffington Post and she did a great two part interview to raise awareness about eating disorders and their prevalence in skating. She shares her personal story, which involved leaving competitive skating due to the severity of her eating disorder. She is now in recovery and attending college, while also raising awareness about eating disorders. The interviews are very informative and interesting. Check them out by clicking below!

**Jenny Kirk interview part 1

**Jenny Kirk interview part 2

Mixed Messages and Making Moves..

This morning, I read a really thought provoking blog entry on True/Slant (which is a blogazine--kind of like a magazine, but a blog... umm, i might have made up that word!!). The author, Katie Drummond, was discussing Katherine McPhee's recent bikini cover on Shape magazine. McPhee, who gained fame after appearing on American Idol, has publicly discussed her past struggles with bulimia, and her experience of being admitted to treatment for three months prior to going on the show in order to focus on getting healthy. Ms. Drummond takes aim at Shape Magazine for putting a recovered eating disorder patient clad in a bikini (and airbrushed!) on its cover, as well as at McPhee for posing in a bikini and perpetuating unrealistic images of beauty after struggling herself with feeling pressure as a result of viewing similar unrealistic images in the media. Ms. Drummond's article is entitled A Lesson in Health Hypocrisy and she explores the hypocrisy that exists in this scenario. Her blog entry is a little angsty, but I appreciate the passion with which she writes because I think that by posing in a bikini for a magazine which happens to advertise 'drop a pound by Friday' on its cover, McPhee- and Shape- are sending some pretty mixed messages.

I wonder if McPhee, or Shape, or the media in general realize the impact that they are having on women by sending such mixed messages. I am not pointing the finger at McPhee (well, maybe I am a little), but she says in the article that doing six different 'moves' changed her body. This sets an alarm off to me. It's not that exercising is wrong, or trying to be healthy or fit is wrong, but it concerns me that her happiness and acceptance of her body are a result of the changes she has made to her body. It just sends the wrong message to women about where our happiness comes from. Again, the point is not to bash McPhee. I just think it is important to raise awareness and discuss some of these things that we become numb to, because whether we know it or not, these images impact us! While there is not one single cause of eating disorders, and while seeing unrealistic images of women's bodies do not cause eating disorders, these images can be a precipitating factor, when combined with a genetic predisposition and certain environmental factors.

A month from now, NEDA (the National Eating Disorder Association) is sponsoring National Eating Disorders Awareness Week--- February 21-27. I will be posting more information as this week draws nearer, but I wanted to mention it in light of what I read this morning on True/Slant. Rather than just venting about the media and that magazine cover, or discussing how things could or should be different, it is helpful to think forwardly and focus on what we can do to make some changes! One simple thing that I have mentioned before is using GoodSearch! This is a search engine, just like google, that donates money to nonprofits of your choice before you perform each search. You can donate to eating disorder nonprofits, as well as a bunch of other great organizations. Follow this link to find out more. The second thing that I wanted to mention is something that I read on NEDA's website the other day. Marilyn Wann, author of Fat? So!, developed an art activity for people to participate in that deals with transforming the numbers on scales to adjectives! Confused? The Boulder Youth Body Alliance (BYBA), a nonprofit that seeks to encourage teens to change the world, rather than their bodies, has encouraged teens to participate in this activity by turning scales into art. I love this idea and think it must be really empowering for women of all ages to take part in something like this! Follow this link to view pictures/examples of scales as art, and to read more about what BYBA is doing!

Pray for Haiti

By now, most of you have probably heard about the earthquake that took place in Haiti this past week. It is likely that you have seen the heartbreaking images, and have heard many accompanying tragic stories. It is all so overwhelming. While I typically blog on body image, eating disorders, and beauty and the media, I felt compelled to mention this!

I just wanted to share two quick things. First, a professor that I had in college who I greatly respect, Dr. Paul Robinson, posted a link on his facebook page to an article that was published in the NY Times today. The article contemplates faith and hope amidst such devastation and I wanted to share it with you all. Follow this link to read it. (Here is another article from CNN.com that you may want to check out- it shares stories of those who have been rescued..)

Second, if you are interested in donating time or money to support the relief efforts in Haiti, here are some different options that I would encourage you to check out!

Red Cross

Compassion International

ONE campaign

Bread for the World

You can also text "HAITI" to 90999 to donate $10 to the Red Cross. The Red Cross has raised over 8 million dollars on texting donations, which is awesome (UPDATE: as of 1/18, 21 million dollars has been raised!!). As you go about your day today, try to remember the people of Haiti in your prayers- for healing, for hope and for miracles.

Loving What is Real....

One of my all time favorite children's books is The Velveteen Rabbit. While it definitely brings back visions of tricycles and My Little Pony, this book was read to me often before bedtime and I had such an affection for this story. I remember one year for Christmas I received the newest edition of this book, along with a stuffed animal that was supposed to be the Velveteen Rabbit. It was one of my favorite gifts. As I have gotten older, and have gained a little bit of life experience since my days drinking out of a sippy cup, I still appreciate this book because I think its message transcends the playground.

The Velveteen Rabbit is more than a story about a boy and his stuffed animal; it is a parable that echoes a desire that we all have in our hearts to be loved and to be accepted as we are. At one point in the book, the Velveteen Rabbit has a discussion with the Skin Horse, another toy, about his fear that he will not be special or loved by the boy. The Velveteen Rabbit longs to be special, and believes that his experience of being accepted and loved will make him Real, which will ultimately give him validation. The following is a short excerpt of one of my favorite parts, in which the Skin Horse is talking to the Velveteen Rabbit about becoming Real:

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

The Velveteen Rabbit

The reason that I love this part so much is because it extends to more than just toys. We get mixed messages today about beauty, and what is required of us to fit in, to be accepted, to be admired, to be loved, to be beautiful. This certainly extends to our bodies, and the expectation that exists for us to be a certain size or shape in order to be perceived as beautiful. At the risk of sounding like a tired cliche, I think what makes us beautiful goes way beyond our appearance. And that is one reason why I love this book so much- it illustrates the idea that our character and experience is what makes us beautiful, and that people love us most when we are being the most authentic versions of ourselves. Our experience, our age, our resilience all make us real and make us beautiful!

As we try to navigate what is real in our culture today, we must decide how we define beauty and choose to base our standard on things that are different from what the media might tell us. One organization that is doing a great job of exploring beauty and educating young girls about self-esteem is Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty. I have mentioned this organization more than once (follow this link, or this one to read more) because I think that the resources that they provide for young girls and women are wonderful. Whether you have body image struggles or not, whether you have an eating disorder or not, I think we can all relate to the message behind the Velveteen Rabbit of wanting to be loved and wanting to be accepted just as we are. I read a quote the other day that has stuck with me, and I will leave you with it.. In the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson, "To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."