Mean Girls, Fat Talk and A Video Contest!

Mean Girls was- and still is- a classic movie about high school, popularity, and being true to yourself. It makes me laugh every time I watch it (mostly out of disbelief) because of the way it depicts the social strata of high school. I will say that one thing Mean Girls does a great job of is humorously exposing some of the hideous ways that us girls treat each other, as well as the ways that we talk about ourselves and one another. I remember at my high school, we had our own version of 'the plastics' but they called themselves 'the six pack.' Gross! Anyways, one scene that really stands out to me takes place in Regina George's bedroom, where all four 'mean girls' are hanging out. They end up in front of the mirror, picking themselves apart and engaging in negative talk about their bodies. Cady, the new girl in the group, doesn't understand why they are talking so badly about themselves. The following is the dialogue that takes place in front of the mirror:

"My hips are huge."

"Oh please, I hate my calves."

"At least you can wear halters, I have man shoulders."

"My hairline is so weird."

"My pores are huge."

"My nail beds suck."

Now, let's face it. We all have moments where we may not feel our best, but ladies, this kind of talk, also known as 'fat talk' needs to stop! It is sad that we can be so harsh and critical of ourselves. So, what is fat talk and why do we need to cut it out?? According to the Reflections: Body Image Program, "Fat Talk describes all of the statements made in everyday conversation that reinforce the thin ideal and contribute to women’s dissatisfaction with their bodies. Examples of fat talk may include: “I’m so fat,” “Do I look fat in this?” “I need to lose 10 pounds” and “She’s too fat to be wearing that swimsuit.” Statements that are considered fat talk don’t necessarily have to be negative; they can seem positive yet also reinforce the need to be thin – “You look great! Have you lost weight?”." Fat talk reinforces unhealthy beliefs and attitudes about our bodies, and also has a negative impact on others as well!

So what can we do about this?! Well, there is a very unique way for you to get involved, share your voice, and help to impact change!! Fat Talk Free Week, put on annually by Tri-Delta and the Reflections: Body Image Program, will be starting soon-- on October 18-22! I will be posting more on this as the time draws closer, but wanted to alert you all of a great opportunity! This year, there is a video contest. Make a short video to show what you are doing to end 'fat talk' and upload it to the official End Fat Talk facebook fan page (here). Video submissions are due by Wednesday, October 20. Once uploaded, friends and family can vote for your video and one lucky winner will take home a $1000 gift card to Best Buy! This video campaign is a great way to promote positive body talk and to impact change!!

Below is a powerful video that was made to inspire change, as well as to promote Fat Talk Free Week. Consider participating in the video contest this year. And if you aren't feeling compelled to submit a video, that's okay!! But think about how else you might be able to get involved this year to help reduce and eliminate fat talk- whether it starts with you, in your own mind and conversations, or in conversations you have with others. One person can make a difference.

On Asking For Help-- And A Horse Named Dude

Last week, I took a little road trip to Virginia where I attended an onsite visit at Remuda Ranch. Remuda is a residential treatment facility for girls and women with eating disorders- they just recently updated their website, and it's worth checking out (follow this link to view it!). Anyways, while I knew quite a bit about Remuda Ranch before visiting, I was really impressed with the quality of care that they provide to patients. I was also impressed with the commitment and value placed on spiritual healing as well! Remuda's treatment program is centered around a Christian approach, however, girls and women of all faiths are respected and welcome and can decide how little or how much they want to participate and interact with the faith piece.

Anyways, Remuda really is a ranch- it's not just called that:-). There is a full service barn complete with horses. No cell phone service, no Starbucks, and nothing but dirt roads and beautiful scenery. Among the therapeutic activities used with patients is equine therapy, which uses experiences and interactions with horses to teach the patients things about themselves, facilitating insight and growth. I was a little skeptical before I really knew anything about it, but after learning more and seeing different demonstrations, it is amazing how much you can learn about yourself from a horse!

I volunteered to help out with an activity and got to meet Dude, an Arabian horse:-). My task was to get him over a jumping bar without touching him. Last time I checked, I wasn't a horse trainer-- and I had NO idea how to make this happen. Once I was in the ring with Dude, I secretly regretted volunteering because I was feeling a little in over my head!! After several frustrating minutes of Dude eating dirt and ignoring my commands to jump over the bar, I finally asked Dave, the man in charge, if he had any suggestions! He didn't (of course), but some of the other therapists that were watching were able to give me some ideas. They told me to take the bar off of the jumping post, and lay it on the ground and have Dude walk over the bar. After much coaxing and guiding him from behind, Dude finally stepped over the bar!!

After processing what happened with Dude (I love that the horse's name is Dude, by the way), Dave mentioned that this particular activity can be useful in illustrating how important it is to ask for help!! He said that he will watch people struggling with an activity like this, not knowing what to do, and watching them get frustrated (like me!), and angry- and yet they don't ask for help. Or, if they do, they wait a really long time before asking. You might see how this applies to eating disorder recovery, and even more so, life!! We were not created to be alone, to have no support or community in our lives. And yet sometimes our pride or life circumstances keep us from reaching out and asking for help! Sometimes admitting we need help and are unable to do things on our own can be a huge step forward... and what a relief to know that we don't have to carry a burden all on our own! Sometimes we don't ask for help because we're not even sure of what we need! But just being able to share a burden with a friend, family member or loved one can be a way of reaching out for help and support.

A History of Our Bodies and Beauty

One thing I have been thinking about lately is trends. They come and go, but while a trend is hot, a majority of people (not everyone, but a lot of people) follow whatever is popular- whether it be a clothing style, accessories (silly bandz anyone?), music, a book or author, electronics, etc. Just an FYI- I'm not knocking on following trends, because let's face it, I'm blogging :)

But as I have been thinking about trends, one thing that has really hit home is the way that 'beauty' and our bodies have been subjected to trends over time. For example, in the early 1900's, Victorian women wore corsets (pictured to the left) in order to make their waists appear smaller for the expressed purpose of accentuating their hips and butt, and to give them the illusion of being rounder and fuller. 20 years later, flapper girls were binding their breasts and working to achieve a boyish figure, thin and straight. 30 years later in the 1950's, Marilyn Monroe was THE icon of beauty. It surprises many people that she was a size 16. She had curves, and her body was the ideal.

It is important to note, as an aside, that throughout the shifts in trends with bodies and beauty, most of us women have tried hard to emulate them, no matter how radical the shift. Case in point, only 10 years later, Twiggy, the super skinny model (hence the name Twiggy) was all the rage and people wanted to look just like her! While thinness and weight loss have continued to be trends since that time, the 1980's were a time in which being fit and toned was considered ideal (Jane Fonda anyone?). When the 1990's rolled around, Baywatch Babe Pamela Anderson was a global icon- she was skinny with huge boobs, which became a major trend in the 90's. If you look around now, the majority of these 'looks' or 'ideals' seem to be outdated, meaning they are no longer in style. How do our bodies and beauty go out of style?

One thing that I have been thinking about is the sheer absurdity of our natural bodies (and how we define beauty) as being defined by trends. Surely, fashions change, and how we wear our makeup and clothes, etc, will change. But I think that we must learn to accept our bodies as they are, and celebrate them as they are because otherwise, we will have a relationship with our bodies that forces us to adapt and change with the trends, meaning we are never able to accept ourselves as we are. The only way for us to feel beautiful is to change ourselves. When the trends begin to change, we must change in order to accept and like ourselves and our bodies. That just seems backwards. It doesn't mean that we all don't ever play into the dynamic of trends, but I think that in considering the history of beauty and our bodies, we may see that beauty is something that goes way deeper, and cannot be defined by trends. If the ideal of beauty is changing every 10, 20, 30 years, maybe we should at least consider defining beauty in ways that don't change. It might help us be more confident, it might help us to accept ourselves and consequently, really love who we are! Think about it, and see what you come up with. Would love to hear your thoughts!

**(History/facts taken from thesite.org)

Body Gossip

There is a very cool body image campaign going on in the UK called Body Gossip. I love the name. This movement is all about encouraging real people to share real stories about their bodies and struggles with body image because "realistic beauty needs celebrating and supporting." They have enlisted celebrity actors and actresses to re-tell stories that people write in and share, and then they film them and make these videos and films available for people to watch! This is something that is happening in the UK, but what a great idea. While I think it would be more powerful for the individuals themselves to share, rather than having celebrities share the stories, I also think it is protective in nature for the individuals whose stories are being shared.

Below is one of the videos that Body Gossip has made- its called 'This One is For You' and it consists of people talking back to the eating disorder identity that can so often be consuming. I think it ends especially powerfully and I encourage you all to check it out.

Project Heal, which I have written about before (here and here) is launching a video project that is accepting one minute videos from anyone who has something to say about healthy body image, struggles with body image, what makes you beautiful, etc. If you are interested in submitting a video and you have questions, you can contact ProjectHeal.ed@gmail.com!

Video Encouragement : )

I am currently working on a presentation for Monday that I am giving on body image to women at a local college, and I am so excited. I have been preparing a multimedia presentation, and although I may have shared this video awhile ago, I want to share it again. Everytime that I watch it, I am moved by how powerful it is to hear different women share their feelings about their bodies. I think I watched it three times yesterday as I was compiling everything for my presentation!!

This video is compliments of The Body Image Project. Take a look and pass it on to your friends who might appreciate it. Not only is it one way to brighten your day, but you may brighten someone else's day by encouraging them to accept and celebrate who they are :)

Look at you // The Body Image Project from Body Image Project on Vimeo.