The Truth About Dieting..

I have noticed over the last few days that there have been a LOT of advertisements on the radio that have mentioned the so-called 'consequences' of holiday eating and the word diet has been uttered many times in this context. One of the ads that I heard yesterday went something like this: "My pants aren't fitting me.. they are too tight and I can't get them on.. must be all that extra turkey and stuffing I ate. I really need to go on a diet and lose this weight fast. At least jeans are on sale at (-----) for 15$ so I can buy some new jeans until I lose all of this weight." I left out the name of the store not because I have a problem with jeans being 15$, but because the point is not about jeans- it is about how I have been hearing a lot about dieting lately!

Continuing to hear about diets and dieting over the last few days led me to want to post some information about dieting that you may or may not know. This post may be a little long, so bear with me- I think this info will be beneficial. Let me be clear though. I am not saying it is wrong or bad to want to be healthy or to want to feel good about yourself. What I am saying is that there are healthy and appropriate ways to pursue this goal, and drastic measures, unhealthy behaviors, and diets, are not included. Typically, diets promise quick weight loss with no regards to how much weight you actually want to lose, and the end result is that you turn out looking amazing. Diets are deceptions, because they are not capable of such guarantees. Here are some diet myths that help to point out the deception (thanks to Remuda Ranch for providing some of the information below):

Myth #1= You will lose weight. This is why most people pursue a diet in the first place, right? It may surprise you, but research shows that in the long run, 98% of dieters actually end up gaining weight. Why? Because the real issues behind food consumption and understanding metabolism are rarely addressed with a diet. And when unhealthy means are used, the weight loss is usually not maintainable.

Myth #2=You will look amazing as a result of your diet. If your goal is to look like someone else, or to look like some of the images that we regularly see on TV, in magazines, etc.. then you are chasing a goal that is not attainable. These images are altered by computers (check out this video for an example- yikes!). What is more is that a diet will not change your facial features, it will not make you taller, it will not make your legs longer, and it will not make your boobs bigger. Sorry:).

Myth #3=Diets are not dangerous. Whenever you restrict or cut out entire food groups (sugar, carbs, fat, dairy, etc..), this is dangerous-- especially for young people. Our bodies require a variety of foods in order to fuel our organs and keep us functioning effectively. Not to mention that studies show that dieting is an indicator of future eating disorders. A girl who diets before she is 14 is eight times more likely to develop an eating disorder. There are many health risks associated with dieting as well, such as weakened bones, dehydration and decreased heart rate.

Myth #4=Certain foods are bad. Often times, when we diet or approach food with a diet mentality, we label food as 'good' or 'bad.' We may even determine what food we consider to be good or bad based upon which particular diet we are on. The fact of the matter is that all foods are created equal and all foods can fit into a healthy lifestyle. There are no bad foods, only bad diets.

Myth #5= Diets give you control. Having a defined set of rules, especially when it comes to food, may convince you that you will be in control of what you put in your mouth. However, what often happens when you eat the same foods, or follow similar rituals each day with food, you begin to crave foods you have labelled 'bad' or 'outlawed.' This can lead to overeating and binges, which ultimately take you to a place you were trying to avoid to begin with. Also, diets usually make you cranky, they tend to decrease your energy, and they leave you feeling tired and pretty irritable. When you get to this point, the diet is controlling you, and you have little control.

Myth #6= Diets are safe and healthy. Maybe a little repetitive (myth #3), but if you chronically diet, you risk potentially altering the natural weight of your body. Over time, if your body weight fluctuates from higher to lower, and lower to higher, your body generally settles at a higher weight than it would have needed to be if it was not altered in the first place. Our bodies become confused, because they do not know if they will get what they need nutritionally, or if they will not receive any food at all. Our metabolisms slow down because our bodies think we are starving. The irony in this is that the exact opposite of what is intended is likely to end up happening.

Myth #7= You need to follow a diet. Here are some healthy guidelines to follow (compliments of Remuda Ranch) that are not diet-centric. Eat a variety of foods in moderation. Having variety allows for you to meet your nutritional needs; we cannot get all we need from one single food, or from a small number of foods alone. Listen to your body, and your stomach. Eat when you are hungry, stop when you are full. You don't need to eat food just because it is in front of you. Find out if you are eating because you are physically hungry or emotionally hungry (more on this to come..).

To conclude, Karen R. Koenig wrote a book called The Rules of Normal Eating. It is an extremely helpful book for anyone who has struggled with chronic dieting, overeating, undereating, emotional eating and anything in between. I wrote a post on her book awhile back and provided some suggestions that she outlines in her book as they relate to 'normal eating.'. Follow this link for more information.

Turkey Day Anxiety: Part 2

Thanksgiving is tomorrow- and it seems like most people are either running around, making last minute preparations to host family and friends, or making sure that all the essential ingredients are present in their kitchens for cooking, or are packing/en route to be with family and friends. As I mentioned in my previous post (scroll down, or click here to read it), this time of the year is often accompanied by a significant amount of stress. Whether the holidays are stressful due to family tension, financial strain, or other difficult circumstances, one thing is certain- Thanksgiving has become a food holiday, meaning that food has become the main event.

What do we know about stress and eating? Well, for some people, stress during the holidays can lead to emotional eating, overeating, and/or binge eating, while for others who have struggled with restrictive eating, this tension may manifest in restrictive behavior with regards to the amount of food eaten or a preoccupation with what is being consumed. In addition, the heightened awareness that the media and our culture have placed upon food, weight, and our bodies has strongly impacted our beliefs about food. Therefore, a holiday that is centered around food can be triggering for anyone, but especially for those who are currently struggling with an eating disorder or eating issue, as it is not uncommon (unfortunately) for people to observe and make comments about who is eating how much, and how much weight so-and-so gained/lost since last year. If you are reading this, I would challenge you try to make it through this Thanksgiving without making any comments about what other people are eating, or how much they are eating, or any other comments along these lines. While this may seem like a minor adjustment to make, it would probably surprise you to find what an impact such a small change can make on others around you. If you are someone who struggles with an eating disorder, have struggled with one in the past, or struggle with body image issues, OR you will be spending this Thanksgiving with someone you love who you know or suspect struggles in any way with food, here are a few helpful tips, courtesy of NEDA, that may serve to alleviate the stress of such a time.

1. Worry more about the size of your heart than the size of your (fill-in-the-blank-body part). Think about how you can serve someone or do something nice for someone else- and do it. It helps to focus on others, and it helps to consider what you are thankful for.

2. Have conversations with your loved ones about things that matter to you all--dreams, goals, faith, relationships, concerns, fears, challenges, etc-- rather than focusing your energy and thoughts on food or body concerns.

3. Designate someone to be your 'support' person who you can call if you are struggling, or who you can talk with to encourage you to get through the tough moments.

4. Make goals for the day, and try to follow through with them. If you make goals with food, make sure you also make other non-food goals as well.

For more tips, follow this link for NEDA's complete list.

Here are some suggestions for families from Marcia Herrin and Nancy Matsumoto, authors of The Parent's Guide to Eating Disorders:

Try making your family’s holiday traditions more about relationships and activities than about food.

· Don’t skip meals or plan to undereat or diet the day following a family holiday.

· Talk to other family members in advance about not pushing food or commenting on diets, calories, or weight loss. Even too much emphasis on trying to make healthy choices at holiday meals can add to the stress.

· It is particularly important if your child is recovering from a serious eating disorder to have pre-warned family members about the kind of talk and attention that is appropriate. I suggest that parents develop a kind of code or signal that tells family members or other guests, “change the subject, and fast!”

· Because meal schedules may be altered and more snack foods and desserts are served during the holidays, it’s important that parents of an eating-disordered child be extra-solicitous and vigilant. If circumstances conspire to create a level of stress that interferes with your child’s recovery, you and your child should sit down and prioritize the extras in your lives. Remember that the first item on your list of important things to accomplish – even during the holidays -- should be your child’s recovery.

I think the most important thing to remember in all of this is the real meaning of Thanksgiving! No matter what we are going through, we always have things we can be thankful for. This doesn't minimize the tough things that some of us are going through or dealing with, but practicing gratitude does wonders for your outlook. Maybe you can make a list of all the things you are thankful for, or maybe you can make a point to discuss with your friends and family what you have been thankful for as you reflect on the past year. I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving!! I am so thankful for those of you who have been reading my blog, and for those of you who have encouraged and inspired me.

A Few More Thoughts- Girls and The Triple Bind

In my previous post, I wrote about girls losing their sense of self and the importance of helping them to see their worth and value by creating circles of protection around them. I came across a book this week that I wanted to share because I think that it complements some of these ideas. It is called The Triple Bind, which Dr. Stephen Hinshaw, the author, says is a term that represents a triple threat to young girls-- societal expectations, cultural trends and conflicting messages. He states that young girls are growing up in a momentous time- they have more opportunities than ever, but also more pressure than ever. He says that they are not only expected to excel at 'girl skills' (friendships, relationships, empathy, etc), but with increased opportunities, there is an expectation for them to achieve the same things that boys have historically succeeded in (sports, demanding careers, etc), AND do both while looking perfect in the process. That is a LOT to live up to.. It is no wonder girls are struggling to cope these days! Hinshaw states that by the age of 19, 1 in 4 girls will have either developed major depression, made a suicide attempt, participated in self-harming behaviors such as cutting, or practiced binge eating or other eating disorders. I would be surprised if this number were not higher.. For more information on his book, access Hinshaw's website here.

The Chicago Tribune published an article back in April about Hinshaw's book and made the point that any parent who has a daughter may want to read this book because regardless of age, all girls face these struggles today. The article, which can be read here, suggests that parents have a large role in helping their daughters develop healthy identities. So, as parents, what are some practical ways that you can help your daughter? I received an email in response to my last blog post asking a similar question as to what action to take to help young people navigate these pressures. An excerpt of the email is below:

Helping teenagers find their voices is also the reason I'm working towards teacherhood. I am aware of the difficulties facing young women, but as a public school educator, and a male one at that, what can I do to help specifically address these issues?

This is a great question. While the roles of parents and teachers are certainly different, I think there are a few suggestions that Hinshaw writes about that apply to both. First, encourage girls (as well as boys) to be discerning and critical of the media and the messages that are portrayed. Second, and this relates more to parents, spend quality time together over dinner; eating dinner together, while tough for many families to practice, has been shown to reduce the risk of eating disorders, as well as depression and drug/alcohol use. Third, encourage girls to volunteer and be involved in the community- whether it be community service, or involvement at church, being involved in something greater than yourself often helps one to gain a sense of purpose through a higher calling in your life. Talking and communicating with your daughters is SO important- talk to them and get feedback about the kind of support that they may need or want. Being able to communicate is so crucial, for both you and your daughter. For a few more pointers and helpful suggestions, follow this link to read some tips for communicating about body image, compliments of the Girl Scouts.

Circles of Protection

The other night I went to an event where I heard Becky McDonald speak. Becky McDonald is the founder of Women at Risk International (WAR), a nonprofit organization that serves women at risk around the world. Her goal in creating this organization was to create circles of protection around young women who are at risk of being sold into slavery and trafficking, as well as to rescue women from these situations, empower them, and communicate the message that they were created for purpose and dignity. She has a passion for giving young girls and women a voice and has worked hard to bring healing to women in over 18 countries.

Helping women (and especially adolescent girls) to find their voice is something that I have been passionate about for a long time. It is one of the reasons that led me to become a counselor. The context in which this has played out is pretty different than that which Becky speaks of, however, I believe that her message is especially relevant for the women and girls that I work with. Her message of God's hope and healing is one that we all need to hear, regardless of our circumstances or what we have been through.

So often, young girls in adolescence begin to lose their voices as they worry more and more about fitting in. They may pretend not to like certain things, or they may pretend TO like certain things. Sometimes girls silence their voices so much that they lose their sense of self; they hardly remember what they like, what they think or what they want. Many girls that have eating disorders experience feelings of powerlessness, and with powerlessness comes a silencing of the self. Other self-harm behaviors, such as self-mutiliation or cutting, are becoming more prevalent in the lives of young teenage girls as they seek to deal with their emotions and their inability to express who they really are for fear of not being accepted.

As a quick aside, To Write Love on Her Arms is a nonprofit that is dedicated to providing hope and light to people who are struggling with depression and self-harming behaviors, which are both so common in girls with eating disorders. Apparently, November 13 is To Write Love on Her Arms Day, although my source for this is facebook :). Whether or not this is a sanctioned day of awareness is pretty insignificant to me- I think any day is a good day to raise awareness-- and because it is November 13 and the theme of this post is giving girls a voice, I wanted to make sure to mention this. To read more about this organization and what they are doing, follow this link.

Creating circles of protection around young girls in our society is SO crucial- whether it is to protect them from slavery, or from cultural messages about body image, or both. How do we create circles of protection around girls? By restoring dignity, showing them their purpose, empowering them through education and skill building, as well as working to impact change on a large scale through advocacy. For more information on Women at Risk, visit www.warinternational.org.

Disordered Eating: The Disorder Next Door

In a previous post, I mentioned a website called Finding Balance that specifically addresses disordered eating. Finding Balance is an awesome faith-based nonprofit whose goal is to provide resources, support, information and encouragement for those struggling with disordered eating. The creator, Constance Rhodes, was inspired by the statistics of a study published in SELF magazine in 2008. The article in SELF, which discussed these statistics, was entitled Disordered Eating: The Disorder Next Door.

The article begins by stating that 6 in 10 women are disordered eaters, and 1 in 10 have eating disorders. This means that 70 percent of women struggle with food issues!! And I actually think that this number is even higher. Here is an excerpt from the article:

Eating habits that women think are normal—such as banishing carbs, skipping meals and, in some cases, even dieting itself—may actually be symptoms of the syndrome. Although disordered eating doesn't have the lethal potential of anorexia or bulimia, it can wreck your emotional and physical health, says Cynthia Bulik, Ph.D., director of the eating disorders program at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and SELF's partner in the survey. And it's everywhere, afflicting women like your sister, your friend, your coworker—or you.

The online SELF survey garnered responses from 4,000 women ages 25 to 45 to a detailed questionnaire about their eating habits and found that most disordered eaters fall into one or more of six categories. Calorie prisoners are terrified of gaining weight, tend to see food as good or bad and feel extremely guilty if they indulge in something that's off-limits. Secret eaters binge on junk food at home, in the car—wherever they won't be found out. Career dieters may not know what to eat without a plan to follow; despite their efforts, they're more likely than other types to be overweight or obese. Purgers are obsessed with ridding their body of unwanted calories. Food addicts eat to soothe stress, deal with anger, even celebrate a happy event; they think about food nearly all the time. Extreme exercisers work out despite illness, injury or exhaustion and solely for weight loss; they are devastated if they miss a session. Bulik explains that many disordered eaters piece together a painful mix of destructive habits. Others may shift between categories over the years, ricocheting from restricting to bingeing to purging, for instance.

The article goes on to provide examples and illustrations of these different types of disordered eaters. One of my favorite quotes in this article from Cynthia Bulik, (who has been on Rachel Ray, the Today Show, etc and who is a local hero of mine, who I love), stands out--"Imagine what women could accomplish if they spent that time and energy on things other than body issues." This is SO true! I am not going to pretend that it is easy to change your thoughts and simply make this happen. This often requires some form of therapeutic intervention, or distraction skills and tools, or other coping methods. But think about what we could do to change the world with all of the energy, effort, emotion and thoughts that go into our struggles with food! Just think of the possibilities:)

To read this article in SELF magazine's May 2008 issue, click HERE. And for more info on Finding Balance, follow this link to explore the website and click here to see my previous post on it.