Bruised Body Image??

I came across this picture today and wanted to share it- although unfortunately, I'm having trouble formatting the image so that you can see the entire quote (by Marcia Hutchinson)! Until I can fix it, it says "If you talked to your friends the way you talk to your body, you'd have no friends left." I think it speaks for itself, and I think it speaks volumes. If this quote impacts you, I would encourage you to consider how you might start thinking about your body in a way that might be more kind! Margarita Tartakovsky writes a blog on body image and eating disorders, and she wrote a great post on 'bruised' body image that I want to share with you. While I have posted the majority of it below, I would encourage you to check it out in full here. Not only does she help you to identify if you may be struggling with 'bruised' (or poor) body image, but she also provides some helpful tips for thinking more positively about your body.

Here’s a list of indicators that your image may be suffering more than usual (and ways to fix it below that):

1. You notice only negative things in the mirror, car windows, storefront windows, etc. Instead of seeing your positive physical traits, you’re more likely to be found bashing your body, and nitpicking at every nook and cranny.
2. You have a tough time taking compliments. It isn’t that you’re too polite to take a compliment; it’s that you truly believe you don’t deserve them.
3. You rarely think you look good. Even wearing a favorite outfit doesn’t help you to feel good in your skin. You rarely feel beautiful or even pretty.
4. You compare yourself to everyone. For many of us, comparisons are as natural as breathing. But, while you’re comparing your appearance to everyone else’s, you rarely have anything good to say about yourself. It’s always, “her thighs are so much slimmer than mine.” “Her waist is much smaller.” “I wish I had her body.”
5. It takes you forever to pick out an outfit — more often than not. Do you have a moment — more like many moments — where you’ve been cooped up in your room, trying on tons of clothes? You can’t see your floor, partially because it’s overflowing with clothing and mainly because your face is filled with tears. There’s nothing wrong with your clothes–it’s just that everything is wrong with your body.
6. You skip events because you don’t think you look good enough. How often have you declined an invite to a dinner date, party or other engagement because you felt too fat to leave the house?
7. You criticize your body regularly. “My stomach is gross.” “My thighs are enormous!” Do these phrases resemble your daily mantras?

And the following is a list of some pointers that she gives:

1. Think of the awesome things you can do thanks to your body,whether it’s lifting weights, walking several miles, playing with your child, playing an instrument, riding a bike, helping mom carry groceries, dancing with your significant other, achieving a tough yoga pose or simply wrapping your arms around a loved one.

2. What do you like about yourself, beyond your body? Create a list of your positive qualities and achievements, and if you need extra reminding, put the list on a note card and stash it in your purse.

3. Hang out with positive people, who appreciate and support you, who see beyond appearances to who you really are.

4. View exercise as fulfilling, not punishing. Instead of working out to eliminate calories or fit into some bikini (all things that, unfortunately, many magazines and some so-called experts recommend), choose ways to stay active that you enjoy and that make you feel strong and good about your body. There are tons of options for leading an active lifestyle: walking, hiking, biking, workout DVDs, gym membership, yoga, Pilates, dancing, tennis. There’s nothing wrong with you if you don’t like the latest workout craze. Pick something that resonates with you.

5. Worrying about your weight and body is exhausting and strips you of valuable time. Consider all the good things you miss out on because you’re too busy criticizing yourself. You overlook other opportunities, whether it’s the opportunity to self-reflect (instead of nit-picking at your thighs or waist, focus on being kinder to yourself and others), spend time with loved ones or read a good book.

Happy Monday to everyone and hope you all have a great week!! Think good thoughts about your body and what it can do for you. Be kind to yourselves!

If there was a contest that awarded a prize to the person with the most junk mail in their inbox, I might have a good shot at winning. I have no idea how I ended up on so many random listservs. I get emails announcing sales at stores that I have never heard of, announcements about travel deals (which if I'm honest, I kind of like!), stationary sales, opportunities to participate in paid surveys, home improvement tips from Home Depot and Lowe's... you name it, it's probably in my e-trash. As I was deleting all the useless emails in my junk mail account (hotmail, cough cough), I came across an email from Victoria's Secret. The subject read "New! I Love My Body Bras." I sort of laughed and wondered if perhaps Victoria's Secret was working to promote positive body image. I clicked on the email and there were three models in their bras and underwear looking a little hungry. My next move- I googled 'Victoria's Secret Love My Body' and this is what I found. Follow the link to read the article on their 'campaign.'

I don't mean to make fun of it or anything- promise! If you read my blog, you know that I am all about promoting positive body image and people loving their bodies. And for this, I think it's great that Victoria's Secret is trying to help women love their bodies. I just find it funny/ironic/unfortunate that their campaign slogan is "Body for Everybody, Love Your Body" and the picture attached to the campaign shows 7 women who all look the same. A more appropriate slogan might be "Body for Seven, Love Your Body." :) I think if the goal is to promote the idea that all bodies are beautiful, then showing women of all sizes and shapes might be more effective in communicating this message. I dislike being critical for the sake of being critical, but I think it's important to be critical about the media/images that we view and how we interpret them, as they have a significant impact on how we view ourselves and our bodies (whether we are aware of it or not). I think observing and thinking critically is important, and it's also important and okay to act and react appropriately to such things.

I don't often tell stories, but I've been thinking a lot lately (especially in honor of last week's National Eating Disorders Awareness Week) about doing 'just one thing'- and how doing one thing here or there can really make a difference. Well, when I was putting away some groceries I bought the other day, I noticed that as I was putting a particular item into my refrigerator, there was a picture of a girl's face (a cartoon) along with a website address on the outside of this item. In addition, this particular item had been 'approved' by this cartoon girl. I'm a curious person by nature and wanted to know who this girl was and why she was on my food, so I checked out her website. I refuse to share the alias of this cartoon girl or her website because when I went online to see what she was all about, all that I could found were tips on cutting calories, dieting tips, what to eat at certain restaurants, etc. This website also provides the option for people to sign up to receive daily emails sharing dieting tips, how to cut calories, and specific products to buy that help promote weight loss. I'm really not sure who created this site, but the girl behind the alias says that she is obsessed with food, counting calories, finding great diet tips.... and to me, that is one giant red flag!! If you are obsessed with numbers, weight, counting calories, dieting, etc.. it may be a good idea to talk to someone about this, especially if it is interfering with your ability to think rationally, maintain health and be yourself.

While I wouldn't necessarily call this person's site a pro-anorexia site, it is certainly not a healthy site. The information presented is likely triggering for anyone who has struggled with an eating disorder, food issues, body image struggles, etc. It made me upset to think that someone could do something as simple as buy something at the grocery store and be confronted with this little cartoon girl and her website. My reaction was so strong that I felt like I needed to take an action step. So, I sent this cartoon girl a little message on the 'contact me' section of her site. My message was not rude or judgmental, but I shared my thoughts and concerns with her. I haven't heard back from her, and I don't expect to. I didn't write to her expecting a response or even needing one. The simple act of putting that feedback out there was empowering and I think we need to be doing this kind of thing more often, myself included. It's not even about trying to change someone else, or to show someone that they are wrong about something- of course, it is helpful for people to be educated and knowledgeable and to have correct information. But I think when we take action steps, it actually frees us and empowers us in ways that help us to move one step closer to health and acceptance of ourselves. In doing that, we may actually end up facilitating change after all! Every little action helps, whether it helps us or helps others, or both! As we interact with people and media (print, TV, etc) this week, let's consider how we might take small action steps to promote positive body image in ourselves and in those around us.

Saying No to Labels

After the Golden Globes last week, the New York Times fashion blog 'The Moment' called out (by name) certain actresses who appeared to be 'rounder.' The title of the article was Now Scrutinizing--A Rounder Golden Globes... how gross! While there are a million things that I want to say about that, in the interest of time, I will focus and try to be brief! The irony in such an article, of course, lies in the fact that all of the actresses named have been criticized at one time or another for being too thin. Mixed messages much? : )

Courtney Cox happened to be one of the women that was singled out for looking 'rounder' and her husband, David Arquette, publicly responded yesterday to the ridiculous comments that were made. Here is what he had to say-

"Writing articles about people that put on weight is just wasting space for real news," he told Fox News' Pop Tarts. "And who really cares? I love round people, I love skinny people. I love people in general; we've got to get past labels and stop being so critical about everything."

Well said. I love how he chose to respond. How is it that in a world where some really serious things are going on (think Haiti, healthcare issues, Afghanistan, ...) that any news publication is writing about actresses' weight fluctuations? That is just such an indicting commentary on what the majority of our culture values. While this article was in fact written on a blog, it is still associated with the New York Times.

Maybe even more noteworthy though is what Arquette said about labels. We really do have to get past labels, and our obsession with labeling ourselves and others. When you think about the people in your life that you care about, that you love, the people that have had the greatest impact upon you... you cannot sum them up in a label, nor would you want to. If we were to do that, we would miss out on SO much! When we find that we are tempted to view others or ourselves as a label and judge accordingly, maybe we can step back for a minute and ask what purpose this behavior is serving, and if it is helpful. To label anyone (including ourselves) does a great disservice to all. Our hearts cannot be labeled. We are so much more than our height, our hair color, our weight, our shoe size, ... so let's be sure to focus on the depth that makes us each unique and beautiful.

Figure Skating and Eating Disorders

There was a period of time (maybe in high school?) when I enjoyed watching figure skating. My mom has always liked watching it, so when I went to go hang out with her the other day, it didn't surprise me to find her curled up on the couch watching it. Anyways, I watched with her for awhile, but truthfully, I cringe when I watch skating because I just hate seeing the girls fall- and it seems like they all fall!! I have such a difficult time enjoying it because it seems like they work for hours and hours and years and years training, they miss their proms, and sacrifice having 'normal' lives, and one fall or misstep can dictate their futures. I know that is slightly dramatic of me to say. However, in a competitive situation like this, a tenth of a point can determine whether or not one will go to the Olympics after having trained for years. I just can't take the pressure!! Haha. Anyways, all that to say- it's been a looong time since I've watched any skating. And what I noticed as I watched was that this time around I was cringing for different reasons. If you have read my blog before, you probably know what is coming... but I was upset by how many of the skaters looked unhealthy. Because I sit with people on a daily basis who are in the middle of some pretty serious battles with eating disorders and body image issues, I see what they go through and know how difficult and distressing it can be. The fact that many competitive skaters likely struggle with eating disorders may not be a newsflash, but it is still very, very sad and concerning.

As in all sports, the body is a major instrument; a few sports in particular though (think gymnastics, running, skating) feature the body as the only instrument. In many of these sports and activities, the rates of eating disorders are soaring. The percentage of skaters with eating disorders is very high. A recent estimate stated that upwards of 85% of competitive figure skaters have eating disorders- that is a LOT. Jenny Kirk, a former competitive (and successful) figure skater, was interviewed recently by the Huffington Post and she did a great two part interview to raise awareness about eating disorders and their prevalence in skating. She shares her personal story, which involved leaving competitive skating due to the severity of her eating disorder. She is now in recovery and attending college, while also raising awareness about eating disorders. The interviews are very informative and interesting. Check them out by clicking below!

**Jenny Kirk interview part 1

**Jenny Kirk interview part 2

Mixed Messages and Making Moves..

This morning, I read a really thought provoking blog entry on True/Slant (which is a blogazine--kind of like a magazine, but a blog... umm, i might have made up that word!!). The author, Katie Drummond, was discussing Katherine McPhee's recent bikini cover on Shape magazine. McPhee, who gained fame after appearing on American Idol, has publicly discussed her past struggles with bulimia, and her experience of being admitted to treatment for three months prior to going on the show in order to focus on getting healthy. Ms. Drummond takes aim at Shape Magazine for putting a recovered eating disorder patient clad in a bikini (and airbrushed!) on its cover, as well as at McPhee for posing in a bikini and perpetuating unrealistic images of beauty after struggling herself with feeling pressure as a result of viewing similar unrealistic images in the media. Ms. Drummond's article is entitled A Lesson in Health Hypocrisy and she explores the hypocrisy that exists in this scenario. Her blog entry is a little angsty, but I appreciate the passion with which she writes because I think that by posing in a bikini for a magazine which happens to advertise 'drop a pound by Friday' on its cover, McPhee- and Shape- are sending some pretty mixed messages.

I wonder if McPhee, or Shape, or the media in general realize the impact that they are having on women by sending such mixed messages. I am not pointing the finger at McPhee (well, maybe I am a little), but she says in the article that doing six different 'moves' changed her body. This sets an alarm off to me. It's not that exercising is wrong, or trying to be healthy or fit is wrong, but it concerns me that her happiness and acceptance of her body are a result of the changes she has made to her body. It just sends the wrong message to women about where our happiness comes from. Again, the point is not to bash McPhee. I just think it is important to raise awareness and discuss some of these things that we become numb to, because whether we know it or not, these images impact us! While there is not one single cause of eating disorders, and while seeing unrealistic images of women's bodies do not cause eating disorders, these images can be a precipitating factor, when combined with a genetic predisposition and certain environmental factors.

A month from now, NEDA (the National Eating Disorder Association) is sponsoring National Eating Disorders Awareness Week--- February 21-27. I will be posting more information as this week draws nearer, but I wanted to mention it in light of what I read this morning on True/Slant. Rather than just venting about the media and that magazine cover, or discussing how things could or should be different, it is helpful to think forwardly and focus on what we can do to make some changes! One simple thing that I have mentioned before is using GoodSearch! This is a search engine, just like google, that donates money to nonprofits of your choice before you perform each search. You can donate to eating disorder nonprofits, as well as a bunch of other great organizations. Follow this link to find out more. The second thing that I wanted to mention is something that I read on NEDA's website the other day. Marilyn Wann, author of Fat? So!, developed an art activity for people to participate in that deals with transforming the numbers on scales to adjectives! Confused? The Boulder Youth Body Alliance (BYBA), a nonprofit that seeks to encourage teens to change the world, rather than their bodies, has encouraged teens to participate in this activity by turning scales into art. I love this idea and think it must be really empowering for women of all ages to take part in something like this! Follow this link to view pictures/examples of scales as art, and to read more about what BYBA is doing!