Who is the Biggest Loser Anyways??

I have a love/hate relationship with the Biggest Loser (well, it's mostly hate- haha! although hate is kind of a strong word but you get the picture...). I watched it a few times last year, but haven't really watched it since. Not because i actually hate it but more because I'm just not sure how comfortable I am with the whole concept of the show! I am all for getting fit and healthy, but I just don't know how healthy a process is that involves three to four hours of exercise a day. Seems just a little compulsive. But that's not the point right now haha. The point is that I read an article that I really enjoyed and wanted to post it for those of you who may be interested. It challenges the flawed cultural ideal that happiness=thinness, and uses the Biggest Loser to illustrate this point. I want to apologize to all my favorite friends and family members who love this show who may be upset with me for talking trash about the Biggest Loser, but I promise I'm not judging... Anyone who knows me knows that I love the Hills. And let's be honest, that is much worse. I have yet to comment on Heidi Montag's new face/body--I have been trying to refrain, but it's getting tougher to ignore and one of these days I am sure I will be posting about that..

Anyways, follow this link for the article! Scroll down just a little bit once the link pops up- and you will see the article. Happy reading!

20 Ways to Love Your Body

I have been preparing for a presentation on eating disorders that I will be giving tomorrow at a local high school, so I have been scouring the NEDA website looking for cool ideas, stats and other things to make my presentation non-boring to high school students (who are probably going to think I'm old and boring anyways- JK!!). Anyways, while I was scanning some of NEDA's resources online, I came across a list of '20 Ways to Love Your Body' compiled by Margo Maine, PhD that I thought some of you might enjoy reading! I am just going to copy and paste it below (with my additions in italics:)), or, you can also follow this link and check it out on NEDA's site.

20 Ways to Love Your Body by Margo Maine

1. Think of your body as the vehicle to your dreams. Honor it. Respect it. Fuel it.

2. Create a list of all the things your body lets you do. Read it and add to it often.

3. Become aware of what your body can do each day. Remember it is the instrument of your life, not just an ornament.

4. Create a list of people you admire: people who have contributed to your life, your community, or the world. Consider whether their appearance was important to their success and accomplishments.

5. Walk with your head held high, supported by confidence in yourself as a person [who is made by God and created beautifully!].

6. Don't let your weight or shape keep you from activities that you enjoy.

7. Wear comfortable clothes that you like, that express your personal style, and that feel good to your body.

8. Count your blessings, not your blemishes.

9. Think about all the things you could accomplish with the time and energy you currently spend worrying about your body and appearance. Try one!

10. Be your body's friend and supporter, not its enemy.

11. Consider this: your skin replaces itself once a month, your stomach lining every five days, your liver ever six weeks, and your skeleton every three months. Your body is extraordinary--begin to respect and appreciate it.

12. Every morning when you wake up, thank your body for resting and rejuvenating itself so you can enjoy the day.

13. Every evening when you go to bed, tell your body how much you appreciate what it has allowed you to do throughout the day.

14. Find a method of exercise that you enjoy and do it regularly. Don't exercise to lose weight (or punish yourself because of what you have eaten) or to fight your body. Do it to make your body healthy and strong and because it makes you feel good. Exercise for the three F's: fun, fitness, and friendship.

15. Think back to a time when you felt good about your body. Tell yourself you can feel like that again, even in this body at this age.

16. Keep a list of 10 positive things about yourself (and look at it!)--without mentioning your appearance. Add to it!

17. Put a sign on each of your mirrors saying, "I'm beautiful inside and out."

18. Choose to find the beauty in the world and in yourself (because it is all around).

19. Start saying to yourself, "Life is too short to waste my time hating my body this way."

20. Eat when you are hungry. Rest when you are tired. Surround yourself with people that remind you of your inner strength and beauty.

Some of these may resonate with you more than others- I really appreciated number 4 and number 8. Gratitude is SO important; being thankful and having perspective can go a long way. Hopefully this list provides you with a few things to think about and some helpful pointers to start appreciating and loving your body! :)

Life Lessons by Goldilocks

It's a little funny that fairy tales and stories that were read to me as a little girl have been coming to mind lately. I'm not exactly sure what that means (haha), but what I would guess is that these stories come to mind because they actually have some good morals and principles rooted in them (that are not just meant for child-sized ears and lives) and are also relevant to daily happenings.

Today, through a couple of conversations that I had, I was thinking about and reminded of the extremes that we see in our culture when it comes to almost every single arena. Whether it's food, our bodies, and weight, or money, work, love, sex, success, sports, entertainment, etc.. extremes are everywhere. Whether it is an extreme diet, an extreme sport, an extreme behavior (like plastic surgery- Heidi Montag, anyone?), it seems that our culture is not only fixated on extremes but celebrates them. People are applauded and ridiculed based on their ability to conform to extremes. The media gives so much attention to extremes- whether these extremes are weight related or not. We are simultaneously fighting obesity as a nation, as well as a culture that fuels myths about eating disorders as a lifestyle choice. We are constantly made aware of great successes and great failures (which are defined and polarized by the media) and yet we don't necessarily have many positive role models that showcase what it's like to operate in a medium of balance- where both successes and failures are part of life, and where a gray area reigns, instead of the black and white. It seems to me that in a culture of extremes, one of the toughest things to achieve is balance. Outside of appearance and weight, some common questions that deal with balance include the following-- How much time do I spend working, and how much time do I spend playing? How much time should I spend with my family? How much time do I need to invest in cultivating my marriage/relationship? How much exercise is appropriate? How much time do I invest in my spiritual life? The questions can be endless and there is no sure answer for each individual. What I am sure of though is that we probably have a thing or two to learn from Goldilocks (strangely enough).

Goldilocks, for those of you who may need refreshing, broke into a cottage that belonged to three bears (probably not the part to emulate). She ate their porridge, sat in their chairs, and eventually fell asleep in one of their beds. The bears ended up returning home to find her asleep in one of their beds, and she ran out of the house, never to be seen again. Goldilocks is famous (to me, anyways) for the way in which she was a little picky, a little particular. When she tasted the bear's porridge, one bowl was too hot, and one bowl was too cold. But one was just right. The chairs and the beds were the same way-- not hot or cold, but too big, or too small, or too uncomfortable, etc. I guess the reason that she came to my mind today was because I think she is a good example of someone who was mindful of her surroundings and was able to make a decision based on what she felt was right in the moment. She may have been a little picky, but she noticed extremes and decided to operate in the gray area. While all of her options were benign and obviously not comparable to the kinds of things that I mentioned above regarding extremes, I think she is a good example of someone who is being mindful and balanced in her choices. I realize this is a bit of a stretch and may sound simplistic (it is), but I think being able to achieve balance is something that we really struggle with as a culture and as individuals.

This Goldilocks analogy does not apply to eating disorders (remember, EDs are a mental illness), but the analogy applies to the way that we view ourselves, perceptions of beauty, and life in general. So how do we work towards operating in the gray area so that we can live a life of balance? Being mindful, creating and maintaining boundaries, taking care of ourselves just as we take care of others, surrounding ourselves with kind and loving people, living out our values daily, and refuting and challenging irrational and negative thoughts/beliefs. Surely this list is not exhaustive. But I think by aiming to operate in this gray area and by finding a middle ground-- a balance, like Goldilocks did:)-- we might find that we are more content, that we feel better about ourselves, and that we become more accepting of ourselves and others. These are some of the things that give us character and ultimately make us beautiful.

To read about another children's story (the Velveteen Rabbit) and being real, follow this link.

Happy Independence Day!!

July 4th is one of my favorite holidays- I LOVE summer, fireworks, watermelon, and sunny days at the beach. I fully realize, however, that today is March 13 and we are not rapidly approaching July 4th at this point. Why do I even bring up July 4th?? Well, it is the day when we typically celebrate 'independence.' But I started thinking recently that while we celebrate independence collectively as a nation, it is not as common that we individually celebrate our personal independence from struggles or things that have held us back in the past-- or perhaps even from things that we are currently struggling with still that are holding us back. I'm not necessarily talking about making a big public declaration, or throwing a big party to celebrate your independence (if that is what you want to do though, go for it! haha). But personally acknowledging and having a fixed time set aside that exists to remind you and reflect on such a decision can provide great meaning and purpose. I have heard, as I'm sure many of you have, of people marking their days of sobriety- and that is surely a form of commemorating a momentous decision to turn from alcohol or another substance. While (like I said) I am not necessarily suggesting we release fireworks to mark our independence from something, I think that acknowledging the surrender that takes place with such a decision is important and worth remembering and reflecting on.

My intention in writing this post about independence, as weird as it might sound, is to encourage you to consider having an independence day for yourself. What exactly do I mean by this? Well, I think that we all go through things in our lives. I write a lot about body image and eating disorders, but there are certainly other struggles that exist out there as well that you may face!! Whether it is an eating disorder or body image issue, an unhealthy relationship that you find yourself struggling to get out of, an unhealthy habit that seems to control you, dependence on alcohol or an illicit substance, or something else, I think it is SO important to commemorate your decision to turn from whatever it is that is holding you back and is keeping you from being FREE so that you are able to use it as a means of pushing ahead. Of course, we don't all have a specific date or a specific time to commemorate moments like these and that is okay- because turning from an unhealthy behavior or a way of thinking can be a gradual process. The point is that having a specific date isn't necessary. What seems important (to me) is the heart behind this, which is that we are acknowledging a surrender of our will and are choosing to move forward from a certain point on. Surrender does not mean that we don't slip and sometimes fall back into old ways of thinking or acting- but surrender keeps us moving forward as we look ahead to a goal or a way of life that we strive to maintain.

Do you find that you stare at yourself in every reflection, mirror, store window, etc that you walk past, obsessively checking yourself out to make sure you look ok?? Do you feel like you need someone else (a friend, a boyfriend, a husband, a parent, your child, etc) to validate your worth?? Do you feel like you need to be a certain size or weight to be happy?? Do you feel that you need a certain food/drink/drug to feel alive or satisfied?? Are you constantly doubting yourself or being critical of yourself?? Any way of thinking or acting that keeps you from being free is a way of thinking or acting that is not only not helpful for you but serves to keep you in bondage. To start by simply acknowledging and becoming aware of such captivity is the first step. Making a decision to 'be free' is not as easy as it sounds, and requires diligence, faith and hard work!! For some of us, we need more support to experience freedom- whether that is with the help of a friend, a pastor, or a counselor, to walk through that process with.

I would encourage you to consider if anything (person, place, thing) is holding you back in your life and what may be keeping you from becoming the person you were created to be. There is no better way to live than in freedom!! Walter Conkrite said that "there is no such thing as a little freedom. Either you are all free, or you are not free." Sounds pretty obvious, right? Well, if that is the case... and if there is anything that is keeping you from being 'all free' than I would challenge you to take an action step forward- no matter how big or small.

**As an aside, I want to be clear that if you have an eating disorder, simply stating freedom from your ED does not usually make it go away-- and this is not what I am suggesting will happen if you declare a fight against your ED. An eating disorder is a mental illness, and as such, cannot just be wished away. However, your will in fighting your ED is soo important. Maybe your declaration of independence from your ED begins with pursuing professional help, or seeking the level of care that is appropriate and advised for you by a health professional. Or perhaps it means being committed to the recovery process. Whatever this action step may look like, I want to make sure that I am clear on this point! :)

Operation Beautiful

A lot of girls play dress-up when they're little. It's fun to dress up and pretend to be glamourous. I know when I was little, getting the chance to play around with make-up, high heels and princess dresses was definitely a special thing. However, I don't really remember looking up to anyone in the media and idolizing them. I know that I watched TV, and I wasn't a completely sheltered kid. But I don't remember having the kinds of 'role models' today that many young girls do (like Hannah Montana, etc). For example, I was at Target the other day, checking out, and there were two five year old looking girls with one of their mothers. They were looking at all of the magazines on display and kept screaming, "Ooohh Taylor Swift, I love her, she is so pretty. She is so lucky that she is dating [so-and-so]." All I kept thinking was- how do they know this stuff? Haha. I mean, I watch TV and read up on celebrity gossip from time to time but it just seemed weird to me that they knew so much about Taylor Swift. It just dawned on me how different things are for children who are growing up now, and how much more intense, accessible and available media is for people of all ages.

I guess the concerning thing to me is that when girls this young are exposed to an ideal standard of beauty as dictated by Hollywood, they are shaped from this young age to view beauty as what they see on the covers of magazines. The issue is not that young girls should not think Taylor Swift is beautiful, or that magazines are horrible. I actually love Taylor Swift and think she is a good role model for young girls- she appears to be gracious, hard working, and humble- all things that make one beautiful. The issue to me is that if young girls (as well as women of all ages) are not seeing people of all shapes, sizes and colors, etc, in the media that are regarded as beautiful, then it is likely they will view beauty very narrowly. And, beauty is not just about looks! How many times have you met someone that is physically attractive or beautiful, and then they spoke or acted in such a way that made them unattractive to you? As much as it is a cliche, beauty (in Hollywood) is only skin deep! In a world where already 'beautiful' people are getting plastic surgery to enhance their image, the messages that are sent to women about beauty are not necessarily healthy or positive.

Someone recently shared with me about a really amazing movement going on that is called Operation Beautiful, which aims to help people embrace their beauty. The mission of Operation Beautiful is to end fat talk, which involves talking about weight, lamenting over the width of our thighs (or any other body parts), and comparing ourselves to others! The tag-line on their website is "Ending Fat Talk One Anonymous Post-It At A Time." They encourage people to leave positive, encouraging, anonymous notes in random places- public restroom mirrors in schools, restaurants, etc- to be seen by random people. (An example from their site: When the world says 'give in', stay strong! You are a fighter. You are beautiful. Have a great day!) They encourage people to leave the website address on the note so people can go to the site and find out more about Operation Beautiful. The site is awesome in that people share personal stories about how they have been impacted by an anonymous note, as well as the impact that leaving notes around for people has on them. This is such a great pro-active way to encourage people and to end fat talk. The person who told me about Operation Beautiful leaves anonymous post-it notes in the diet/health section at Barnes and Noble. What a great idea!! The reason I love this so much is that so often it is difficult to know how to do little things that positively impact people in a significant way- and this is an example of something that is super easy to do but that makes a big difference.

For more information on Operation Beautiful, follow this link. And view this video below for more information and to be inspired by what they are doing!