On Numbers...

I received a comment on my blog the other day that really impacted me (which I appreciated! ... I always like hearing feedback and being able to engage with different perspectives and thoughts about issues of all kinds- so I encourage comments!!). Anyways, in my last post about the holidays, I mentioned that 'fat talk' seems to be at an all time high. I also mentioned that while at a holiday party recently, someone asked me how much I weigh. While I was a little taken aback at the question and found a way to evade it creatively (I actually don't own a scale), I also (flippantly) wrote that a number is just a number. The comment that got me thinking was made by an anonymous reader, who challenged my statement that a number is just a number.

Here is what the reader had to say, "You say a number is just a number and so therefore, it doesn't mean anything... but you couldn't be more wrong. It's the rational and easy thing to say but numbers are what drive most people, both good and bad. It's pathetic, but the truth is when you have a good day on the scale, you feel like you can conquer anything."

I can't say that there haven't been times when numbers haven't defined me. One example? Grades! My GPA mattered way too much to me. And I sometimes think about how hard I worked and how much pressure I put on myself-- and how little it would have mattered if I had gotten a B, or ten. I don't think one person has asked me what my GPA in grad school was... and that's because it doesn't matter what my grades were... it matters if I am skilled at what I do, if I have knowledge and the ability to apply it practically, if I have a good work ethic, if I am honest, if I have integrity, if I do my best. Those are all qualities that cannot be measured by a number.

In that same vein, how is it that a number- whether on a scale, in a bank account or on a friends list on facebook- can have the power to define my value or give me the ability to be all that I was created to be and do? While I certainly can identify with numbers providing a sense of self-worth, I know that they are ultimately meaningless. The best things in life cannot be confined to or defined by numbers: friendship, love, faith, family... When the temptation sets in for us to believe the lie that the number on the scale (or any other number) is what makes us successful, what makes us good enough, or what makes us attractive- it is helpful and critical to remember that the most important things and experiences can never be defined by numbers.

On Giving Thanks...

I can't even believe it is this time of year again... Thanksgiving!! Time flies!! In light of Thanksgiving being very much a 'food' holiday (something that can be anxiety provoking for those who struggle with food), one thing that I think can be helpful is to go back to the basics of what Thanksgiving is truly about! Soo, I asked cha cha where Thanksgiving originated (just kidding!!). No but really, Thanksgiving marks a time when the pilgrims voyaged to America. After a tough year, in which more than a third of those who had come over on the Mayflower died, there had been a very plentiful harvest and so, they commemorated their blessings with a feast. I think along the way, Thanksgiving took on some cultural adaptations- you know, Charlie Brown's Thanksgiving:), but specifically the kinds of food that we consider to be traditional Thanksgiving food (the pilgrims ate more of a traditional English meal).

Anyways, the point is that the pilgrims were celebrating their blessings after a tough year. And while all of us have had different kinds of years- some good, some tough, some both- I think that no matter what our days, weeks, months and year have been like, it is good to set aside time to be thankful!! There is always something to be thankful for : ) This year has been a year of change for me with going out on my own in private practice. And I am so thankful for all that this change and this year have brought. I am thankful for health, family, a job that I love, and people in my life that I love. I am thankful that I woke up this morning, I am thankful that there is a roof over my head, I am thankful that my body functions as it was created to. I am thankful for Peace that surpasses all understanding, I am thankful for sunshine, I am thankful for the hope that I have in days to come. : )

What are you thankful for this year??

It's Love Your Body Day!!

There's a lot going on this week!! Fat Talk Free Week started Monday, and today, October 20, is Love Your Body Day!

Having one day set aside to be thankful for our bodies is great, and yet, I think that loving our body is something we should try to do everyday! This can be a pretty tough task.. which is why I italicized the word 'try.' : ) Take some time out today to consider all that your body does for you- that usually fosters gratitude for what we have!!

Love Your Friends!!

September happens to be National Women's Friendship Month. I personally believe every month should be National Women's Friendship Month because a girl needs her friends all the time!!! But maybe the idea of taking a month to recognize the importance of friendship is a good reminder for all of us girls (well, and boys too!) to be thankful for the friends in our lives who have been there for us-- and with us-- through the ups and downs! I know that I am SO thankful for all of my friends, especially my very best friends! Even though some of them might live far away from me geographically (like the ones pictured above and below that were taken this summer-love you girls!), they are closer than ever in my heart. (Awwww! So cheesy!)

I think that the whole topic of friendship is especially relevant as it relates to body image and eating disorders. You might be wondering how!! Well, I believe that we were created to be in community with people, and sometimes, having poor body image and/or an eating disorder can interfere and take us out of community with others. Perhaps you might withdraw socially because you don't want people to know how you are really doing, you don't want people to notice your disordered habits or unhealthy attitudes--avoiding and isolating can become pretty standard. If we are pursuing lives of health, it is so critical to have friends and loved ones around us for support!! We need to have people in our lives who are willing to listen, and willing to be there for us when we struggle- whether it involves food, body image, family, marriage, work, friendships, relationships, etc! But friendship is about more than just the struggles- it is also about celebrating each other's successes and encouraging us to grow and develop into the women that we want to be! These friendships can certainly be few and far between, but what they lack in number they more than make up for in fullness!!

Remind those friends today that they mean something special to you, that they are loved and that you are thankful for them! Love to all of my friends!!

Race For The Cure and Body Image

The Susan G. Komen Race For The Cure took place in Raleigh, NC this past Saturday, and it was such an inspiring event. It held special meaning for me, as I have a grandmother and an aunt who have both battled breast cancer-- and survived!!! My aunt was actually in town from Oregon for follow up care at Duke, and so we formed a group and all participated together in this event. I have heard that participating in a Komen race is very different than other races, and as a first time participant, I think I saw why. First, there were SOOO many people that participated. If you look at the picture below-- it is a little tough to make out-- but as far as you can see, there are people that fill up the streets.

The other thing that seemed different to me was the heart and spirit in this event. I think that most people participating had been touched in some way by breast cancer. While my grandma and aunt are survivors, not everyone wins their battle with breast cancer. One of my friends that participated on our team lost her mother to breast cancer. Many, many people have lost loved ones to this illness and it is really heartbreaking.

The picture below is actually a shot of a few of the women that were on our team-- "Breast of Friends" : ) and you will notice the hot pink paper on these women's backs. These hot pink sheets of paper served as memorials to write names of people that you were walking in celebration of (survival), or in memory of, for those who have passed away. It was really sobering and emotional to see all of the names of people who have lost their lives to this illness. I think anytime, with any illness or disease, seeing names or faces make an impact because it personalizes the illness. In talking to my aunt over the course of her visit to Raleigh, she shared with me that battling and surviving breast cancer has changed her life and the way that she lives it in so many ways. One thing that she said that stood out to me was that she is thankful every single morning when she wakes up and realizes how blessed she is to be alive, and to have a body that works and is healthy.
This really impacted me and made me consider how her wise words can be applied to those of us who have not battled breast cancer! First, I think that her attitude of thankfulness is one to be emulated. There are a million ways that having an attitude of gratefulness and thankfulness can impact us-- as well as those around us. Whether it means that we worry a little less, we appreciate what we have more, or take our eyes off of what we lack and what we wish we had and focus on what we do have, it is always good to have perspective, and to live in a way that reflects that attitude.

Secondly, I think that this relates to body image and the ways that we think of and care for our bodies. I want to be clear, like I am often, that eating disorders are a mental illness. Part of having an eating disorder (diagnostically) is experiencing a severe disturbance and preoccupation with one's weight, shape, size, body-- so this is in no way meant to minimize the severity and nature of these thoughts. What I will say though, is that for those of us who struggle with body image and have a negative self-image, this may be a good reminder and an encouragement about all that our bodies can do for us, and how blessed we are to have bodies that are able to function how they are supposed to, that allow us to be active, and that allow us to experience life! Yes, it may be upsetting when our jeans fit more snug; yes, it may get you down when you flip through a magazine and see nothing but airbrushed 'beauties'; and yes, it may be frustrating when you don't feel good about yourself! These are all feelings that most women have experienced before, so you are not alone! But I will encourage you with the words of my brave aunt, who said that she wakes up every morning, thankful to be alive and to have a body that works. Rather than focus so much on the way that our bodies look, maybe if we start to appreciate all that our bodies do for us, and the fact that they allow us to experience life, we may begin to embrace our bodies a little more and appreciate them for what they are and what they do for us.