Mean Girls, Fat Talk and A Video Contest!

Mean Girls was- and still is- a classic movie about high school, popularity, and being true to yourself. It makes me laugh every time I watch it (mostly out of disbelief) because of the way it depicts the social strata of high school. I will say that one thing Mean Girls does a great job of is humorously exposing some of the hideous ways that us girls treat each other, as well as the ways that we talk about ourselves and one another. I remember at my high school, we had our own version of 'the plastics' but they called themselves 'the six pack.' Gross! Anyways, one scene that really stands out to me takes place in Regina George's bedroom, where all four 'mean girls' are hanging out. They end up in front of the mirror, picking themselves apart and engaging in negative talk about their bodies. Cady, the new girl in the group, doesn't understand why they are talking so badly about themselves. The following is the dialogue that takes place in front of the mirror:

"My hips are huge."

"Oh please, I hate my calves."

"At least you can wear halters, I have man shoulders."

"My hairline is so weird."

"My pores are huge."

"My nail beds suck."

Now, let's face it. We all have moments where we may not feel our best, but ladies, this kind of talk, also known as 'fat talk' needs to stop! It is sad that we can be so harsh and critical of ourselves. So, what is fat talk and why do we need to cut it out?? According to the Reflections: Body Image Program, "Fat Talk describes all of the statements made in everyday conversation that reinforce the thin ideal and contribute to women’s dissatisfaction with their bodies. Examples of fat talk may include: “I’m so fat,” “Do I look fat in this?” “I need to lose 10 pounds” and “She’s too fat to be wearing that swimsuit.” Statements that are considered fat talk don’t necessarily have to be negative; they can seem positive yet also reinforce the need to be thin – “You look great! Have you lost weight?”." Fat talk reinforces unhealthy beliefs and attitudes about our bodies, and also has a negative impact on others as well!

So what can we do about this?! Well, there is a very unique way for you to get involved, share your voice, and help to impact change!! Fat Talk Free Week, put on annually by Tri-Delta and the Reflections: Body Image Program, will be starting soon-- on October 18-22! I will be posting more on this as the time draws closer, but wanted to alert you all of a great opportunity! This year, there is a video contest. Make a short video to show what you are doing to end 'fat talk' and upload it to the official End Fat Talk facebook fan page (here). Video submissions are due by Wednesday, October 20. Once uploaded, friends and family can vote for your video and one lucky winner will take home a $1000 gift card to Best Buy! This video campaign is a great way to promote positive body talk and to impact change!!

Below is a powerful video that was made to inspire change, as well as to promote Fat Talk Free Week. Consider participating in the video contest this year. And if you aren't feeling compelled to submit a video, that's okay!! But think about how else you might be able to get involved this year to help reduce and eliminate fat talk- whether it starts with you, in your own mind and conversations, or in conversations you have with others. One person can make a difference.

On Asking For Help-- And A Horse Named Dude

Last week, I took a little road trip to Virginia where I attended an onsite visit at Remuda Ranch. Remuda is a residential treatment facility for girls and women with eating disorders- they just recently updated their website, and it's worth checking out (follow this link to view it!). Anyways, while I knew quite a bit about Remuda Ranch before visiting, I was really impressed with the quality of care that they provide to patients. I was also impressed with the commitment and value placed on spiritual healing as well! Remuda's treatment program is centered around a Christian approach, however, girls and women of all faiths are respected and welcome and can decide how little or how much they want to participate and interact with the faith piece.

Anyways, Remuda really is a ranch- it's not just called that:-). There is a full service barn complete with horses. No cell phone service, no Starbucks, and nothing but dirt roads and beautiful scenery. Among the therapeutic activities used with patients is equine therapy, which uses experiences and interactions with horses to teach the patients things about themselves, facilitating insight and growth. I was a little skeptical before I really knew anything about it, but after learning more and seeing different demonstrations, it is amazing how much you can learn about yourself from a horse!

I volunteered to help out with an activity and got to meet Dude, an Arabian horse:-). My task was to get him over a jumping bar without touching him. Last time I checked, I wasn't a horse trainer-- and I had NO idea how to make this happen. Once I was in the ring with Dude, I secretly regretted volunteering because I was feeling a little in over my head!! After several frustrating minutes of Dude eating dirt and ignoring my commands to jump over the bar, I finally asked Dave, the man in charge, if he had any suggestions! He didn't (of course), but some of the other therapists that were watching were able to give me some ideas. They told me to take the bar off of the jumping post, and lay it on the ground and have Dude walk over the bar. After much coaxing and guiding him from behind, Dude finally stepped over the bar!!

After processing what happened with Dude (I love that the horse's name is Dude, by the way), Dave mentioned that this particular activity can be useful in illustrating how important it is to ask for help!! He said that he will watch people struggling with an activity like this, not knowing what to do, and watching them get frustrated (like me!), and angry- and yet they don't ask for help. Or, if they do, they wait a really long time before asking. You might see how this applies to eating disorder recovery, and even more so, life!! We were not created to be alone, to have no support or community in our lives. And yet sometimes our pride or life circumstances keep us from reaching out and asking for help! Sometimes admitting we need help and are unable to do things on our own can be a huge step forward... and what a relief to know that we don't have to carry a burden all on our own! Sometimes we don't ask for help because we're not even sure of what we need! But just being able to share a burden with a friend, family member or loved one can be a way of reaching out for help and support.

Body Gossip

There is a very cool body image campaign going on in the UK called Body Gossip. I love the name. This movement is all about encouraging real people to share real stories about their bodies and struggles with body image because "realistic beauty needs celebrating and supporting." They have enlisted celebrity actors and actresses to re-tell stories that people write in and share, and then they film them and make these videos and films available for people to watch! This is something that is happening in the UK, but what a great idea. While I think it would be more powerful for the individuals themselves to share, rather than having celebrities share the stories, I also think it is protective in nature for the individuals whose stories are being shared.

Below is one of the videos that Body Gossip has made- its called 'This One is For You' and it consists of people talking back to the eating disorder identity that can so often be consuming. I think it ends especially powerfully and I encourage you all to check it out.

Project Heal, which I have written about before (here and here) is launching a video project that is accepting one minute videos from anyone who has something to say about healthy body image, struggles with body image, what makes you beautiful, etc. If you are interested in submitting a video and you have questions, you can contact ProjectHeal.ed@gmail.com!

Love Your Friends!!

September happens to be National Women's Friendship Month. I personally believe every month should be National Women's Friendship Month because a girl needs her friends all the time!!! But maybe the idea of taking a month to recognize the importance of friendship is a good reminder for all of us girls (well, and boys too!) to be thankful for the friends in our lives who have been there for us-- and with us-- through the ups and downs! I know that I am SO thankful for all of my friends, especially my very best friends! Even though some of them might live far away from me geographically (like the ones pictured above and below that were taken this summer-love you girls!), they are closer than ever in my heart. (Awwww! So cheesy!)

I think that the whole topic of friendship is especially relevant as it relates to body image and eating disorders. You might be wondering how!! Well, I believe that we were created to be in community with people, and sometimes, having poor body image and/or an eating disorder can interfere and take us out of community with others. Perhaps you might withdraw socially because you don't want people to know how you are really doing, you don't want people to notice your disordered habits or unhealthy attitudes--avoiding and isolating can become pretty standard. If we are pursuing lives of health, it is so critical to have friends and loved ones around us for support!! We need to have people in our lives who are willing to listen, and willing to be there for us when we struggle- whether it involves food, body image, family, marriage, work, friendships, relationships, etc! But friendship is about more than just the struggles- it is also about celebrating each other's successes and encouraging us to grow and develop into the women that we want to be! These friendships can certainly be few and far between, but what they lack in number they more than make up for in fullness!!

Remind those friends today that they mean something special to you, that they are loved and that you are thankful for them! Love to all of my friends!!

Scouts Honor

I don't really have many regrets in my life- but one that I do have is that I was never a Girl Scout. Ok, that's kind of a joke- but I was a Campfire Girl :). Based on the name, you might have a good idea of what kind of group this was- an outdoorsy, camping group for young girls (similar to the Girl Scouts, just more focused on camping and outdoor activities). The funniest part about this is that I asked if I could be a Campfire Girl. For those of you who know me, this is pretty laughable. I love sunshine and being outside, but I'm not exactly the prototypical nature lover and I wasn't really what you would call an outdoorsy child. When the Campfire Girls used to have camping outings, I used to ask my parents to pick me up so I could go home and sleep in my own bed, and then drop me off back at the campsite in the morning so that I could sit around the bonfire in the morning with everyone else. How terrible is that?! Haha. Now that I look back, I'm thinking there was probably a better group for me. Perhaps the Girl Scouts? : )

The Girl Scouts have recently launched a new initiative to help boost girls' self-esteem. I have been so impressed with The Girl Scout organization- they have done SO much for young girls and have really invested a lot into nurturing the self-esteem and confidence of girls all across the US. Their mission: To build girls of courage, confidence, and character, who make the world a better place. Their new campaign, 'The Changing Face of Fashion' is based upon research that they conducted. They found that in spite of girls knowing that the fashion industry's ideals of beauty are unattainable and unrealistic, 89% of them still wanted to adhere to those standards!! As a result, the Girl Scouts hired four plus-size models and had them share their stories in a series of online videos about self-esteem and body image.

I really, really applaud the Girl Scout organization for using research and targeting a specific need of young women. I wonder though if there is a way for them to address this issue without the use of models? I wonder what it would be like for these young women to hear real women share their struggles with body image and self-esteem, and the impact that the fashion industry has had on them and how they have dealt with it and are dealing with it. I watched some of these videos (check them out here) and I wonder if these plus-size models (who are likely size 10's) do anything to help dispel these beliefs held by young women. I don't know that I have a better suggestion, but what I do know is that using the flawed modeling/fashion industry as a way to combat the irrational beliefs often perpetuated by the industry just seems a little confusing and backwards. I think at this point though, it is great just to get young girls to consider that beauty comes in all different sizes and shapes and colors. And it seems like that is what the Girl Scouts are doing! To check out more about the Girl Scouts and what they are doing, follow this link.