One Woman's Thoughts on Barbie...

I grew up playing with Barbies- cutting their hair, putting real make-up on them, and dressing them up in all kinds of crazy outfits. I actually used to force my brother to play Barbies with me sometimes when we were little and we would argue over who got to drive the Barbie corvette or the Barbie volvo- sorry Jonathan to out you like this. I was a bossy kid and I didn't like playing Barbies by myself! : ) Because of my history of playing with Barbies as a kid, I wouldn't say that I am a hater. But I would by no means say that I am a fan. The sort of global impact that Barbie has had on the self-esteems and body images of women everywhere is not to be overlooked. Let's just take a minute and look at the following facts about Barbie..

Barbie, the best selling fashion doll in the world, has unattainable and unhealthy body proportions. If she were alive, she would be unable to menstruate. Research has shown that very young girls (ages 5-7) who are exposed to Barbie have lower self esteem and want a thinner body than they have.(Dittmar, Halliwell, & Ive, 2006)

While statistics vary depending on which source you use, Barbie's dimensions (if she were alive) would be somewhere around the following- she would be 6 feet tall, 100 lbs., and wearing a size 4. Her measurements would be 39"/19"/33" and as a result would have to walk on all fours because her body's dimensions would not allow her to stand upright (Statistics taken from Eating Disorders Info and ANRED).

Does playing with Barbies cause eating disorders? No way. If that were the case, we'd all have developed eating disorders. But I believe that the way in which we view our bodies and beauty has probably been shaped by Barbie, a pop cultural icon, in some capacity. Interestingly enough, the story of how Barbie came to be might surprise you. It really surprised me. Dr. Susan Albers who has written some great books on mindful eating wrote a piece in the Huffington Post recently entitled "Why I Don't Hate Barbie Anymore." She shares about the life of Ruth Handler, the woman who created Barbie. Handler, the youngest of her 10 siblings, was raised by her eldest sister. She wanted to make something of herself and be successful in spite of the odds and circumstances stacked against her. Handler found worth, value and self-esteem in her work. She even went on to create prosthetics for breast cancer survivors who had lost their breasts to cancer- sadly, she was one of these women.

This article (as well as the book written about Handler's life) provides some very interesting context and thoughts on Barbie, her legacy and the woman behind the doll, as well as a GREAT message on self-esteem and where we each find our value. I would really encourage you to check it out (here!). Let me be clear- in the words of Dr. Albers- "Barbie's negative symbolism and impact on body image clearly overshadows the rest of this story." I can't do this piece justice in my description of it, so I would encourage you to read it for yourself (here). I know I am always encouraging you all to check out different articles, but if you read just one, read this one! What a great reminder that our value and worth as people come from more than our achievements and 'success.'

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

While I was browsing People.com for my daily dose of celebrity gossip this morning, I happened to see that Jennifer Love Hewitt was featured alongside a big headline that read, "Jennifer Love Hewitt Advises Girls to 'Love the Way You Look.' Coincidentally, she was pictured in a white bikini, showing off her body that has significantly shrunk in recent days/months/years. Does anyone remember when she was photographed back in 2007 in a bikini and was publicly ridiculed for the way that she looked in the pictures?? She was raked over the coals for the shape of her body, and I remember reading about how she started dieting and working out to lose some of the weight after that happened. Here is a brief excerpt from an article written shortly after that time:

Late last year (2007) the blogosphere got pretty mean about actress Jennifer Love Hewitt looking a little heavier than normal. At the time she said she was a size 2 and that she wasn’t fat, but she mostly worried about how the attention would affect image-conscious girls who saw the media calling her fat. While she says the two aren’t connected, she’s lost 18 pounds in the last four months with the help of trainer Stevie Sant’Angelo.

Hmmm. It seems odd to me that those two things were not connected. But either way, I find it all the more ironic that she is doling out such advice to young women to love the way their bodies look, since her way of loving her body was to change hers! Jennifer Love Hypocrite?

While I cannot even begin to imagine the kind of pressure a female in Hollywood must face to conform to unrealistic standards of beauty, I also do not think that this justifies hypocrisy. If she loved what she looked like so much, why did she feel the need to change? She is sending such an unfortunate message to young women because while she is saying, "When I meet young girls, I'm always like, 'Just do me one favor, love what you look like right now – and remember I said it 10 years from now because it's the greatest gift I can give", her actions are telling a very different story. This quote was taken from the People.com article, which you can read by following this link. A few lines down, she says that she was so embarrassed by the pictures of her body taken in 2007 that she gave up eating 'her beloved donuts' and started fitting in workouts to her schedule so that she could 'get healthier.'

I am all for being healthy. Trust me. But it just seems like she is sending a very mixed message! And I think we are all too often inundated with mixed messages from the media, to the point that we fail to see things as they really are. It's helpful to expose mixed messages when we see them, and I would encourage you all to be mindful of what you see and hear! When it comes to the media, what you see is not what you get.

I guess I just feel bad for Jennifer Love Hewitt because I feel like she is really the one who is losing here. You never win when you have to change your outer appearance in order to love yourself and be happy. Yes, sometimes we do have to make changes so that we can become more healthy, but happiness and love are not dependent on or defined by how we look in a bikini, or how good we look in pictures. Happiness, love and beauty really do come from the inside out- not by losing 18 pounds in 4 months.

Race For The Cure and Body Image

The Susan G. Komen Race For The Cure took place in Raleigh, NC this past Saturday, and it was such an inspiring event. It held special meaning for me, as I have a grandmother and an aunt who have both battled breast cancer-- and survived!!! My aunt was actually in town from Oregon for follow up care at Duke, and so we formed a group and all participated together in this event. I have heard that participating in a Komen race is very different than other races, and as a first time participant, I think I saw why. First, there were SOOO many people that participated. If you look at the picture below-- it is a little tough to make out-- but as far as you can see, there are people that fill up the streets.

The other thing that seemed different to me was the heart and spirit in this event. I think that most people participating had been touched in some way by breast cancer. While my grandma and aunt are survivors, not everyone wins their battle with breast cancer. One of my friends that participated on our team lost her mother to breast cancer. Many, many people have lost loved ones to this illness and it is really heartbreaking.

The picture below is actually a shot of a few of the women that were on our team-- "Breast of Friends" : ) and you will notice the hot pink paper on these women's backs. These hot pink sheets of paper served as memorials to write names of people that you were walking in celebration of (survival), or in memory of, for those who have passed away. It was really sobering and emotional to see all of the names of people who have lost their lives to this illness. I think anytime, with any illness or disease, seeing names or faces make an impact because it personalizes the illness. In talking to my aunt over the course of her visit to Raleigh, she shared with me that battling and surviving breast cancer has changed her life and the way that she lives it in so many ways. One thing that she said that stood out to me was that she is thankful every single morning when she wakes up and realizes how blessed she is to be alive, and to have a body that works and is healthy.
This really impacted me and made me consider how her wise words can be applied to those of us who have not battled breast cancer! First, I think that her attitude of thankfulness is one to be emulated. There are a million ways that having an attitude of gratefulness and thankfulness can impact us-- as well as those around us. Whether it means that we worry a little less, we appreciate what we have more, or take our eyes off of what we lack and what we wish we had and focus on what we do have, it is always good to have perspective, and to live in a way that reflects that attitude.

Secondly, I think that this relates to body image and the ways that we think of and care for our bodies. I want to be clear, like I am often, that eating disorders are a mental illness. Part of having an eating disorder (diagnostically) is experiencing a severe disturbance and preoccupation with one's weight, shape, size, body-- so this is in no way meant to minimize the severity and nature of these thoughts. What I will say though, is that for those of us who struggle with body image and have a negative self-image, this may be a good reminder and an encouragement about all that our bodies can do for us, and how blessed we are to have bodies that are able to function how they are supposed to, that allow us to be active, and that allow us to experience life! Yes, it may be upsetting when our jeans fit more snug; yes, it may get you down when you flip through a magazine and see nothing but airbrushed 'beauties'; and yes, it may be frustrating when you don't feel good about yourself! These are all feelings that most women have experienced before, so you are not alone! But I will encourage you with the words of my brave aunt, who said that she wakes up every morning, thankful to be alive and to have a body that works. Rather than focus so much on the way that our bodies look, maybe if we start to appreciate all that our bodies do for us, and the fact that they allow us to experience life, we may begin to embrace our bodies a little more and appreciate them for what they are and what they do for us.

Anyone Need a Body Image Boost??

While the first official day of Summer has not yet arrived (it's June 21st if anyone was wondering!), Memorial Day has come and gone and regardless of where you live, the weather is probably/hopefully starting to get a little warmer. I know that here in Raleigh, NC, the weather has been downright HOT. These 90 degree days filled with humidity have me a little concerned about what August may bring. But at least it's finally pool weather right???

Well, for some women (I would bet most), warmer weather and getting into a bathing suit can trigger anything from a few nerves to a full on panic attack. The obsession with our bodies continues to reach new heights, and sometimes what we need is to step back and get a giant body image boost. Dr. Michael Levine and Dr Linda Smolak, together with NEDA, compiled a list of 10 "will-powers" for improving body image. I have been using this list with some of my clients lately (because I think that it is pretty great), and because I have gotten a lot of feedback on how helpful it has been, I wanted to share a few of them with all of you. My hope is that the following list may help us all to spend more time enjoying the sunshine, the company of friends and family, and the water this summer, rather than focusing on what we perceive to be the flaws and faults in our bodies!

1. I will ask myself, "Am I benefiting from focusing on what I believe are the flaws in my body weight or shape?

2. I will think of 3 reasons why it is ridiculous for me to believe that thinner people are happier or 'better.' I will repeat these reasons to myself whenever I feel the urge to compare my body shape to someone.

3. I will surround myself with people and things that make me feel good about myself and my abilities. When I am around people and things that support me and make me feel good, I will be less likely to base my self-esteem on the way my body looks.

4. I will practice taking people seriously for what they say, feel and do. Not for how slender, or 'well put together' they appear.

5. I will list 5-10 good qualities that I have, such as understanding, intelligence, or creativity. I will repeat those to myself whenever I start to feel bad about my body.

An Open Letter to Shape Magazine

Below is the text of an email that I just sent to Shape Magazine, after seeing Kim Kardashian on its June 2010 cover. Kim Kardashian is famous for being the one time best friend of Paris Hilton and a reality TV star; she also happens to endorse QuickTrim, a diet supplement.

Dear Shape Magazine,

I may or may not have complained about your choice in cover girls prior (see here). To be honest, I don't want to dislike your magazine, but there is just no way I will ever buy it, or read it again in good conscience after seeing this month's cover featuring Kim Kardashian. I used to read your publication a lot in college, and even then, I recognized some of the mixed messages you often send to your readers. However, it's only been in the more recent past that I have seen just how crazy, blatant and dangerous some of these mixed messages are for readers.

Kim Kardashian endorses QuickTrim. QuickTrim, according to its website, "is among the best known weight loss supplements recently introduced. This line of 4 products has been created and marketed specifically by the Kardashian sisters. They claim that they will cleanse and detoxify your body, burn fat, and even reduce cellulite, working as a spot treatment for some." Just in case you were unaware, weight loss supplements are diet pills. For some reason, I thought that your magazine was trying to encourage women to be fit and healthy. But what I wonder now is that if by putting Kim on your cover, you are also condoning the use of diet pills by glorifying a celebrity who has been outspoken about her use of diet pills? Granted, if every female on every magazine cover was determined based on health, we may have a lot less cover girls (which says something), but this is the second time this year that you have chosen a cover girl who has been controversial.

I hope it doesn't seem like I am overreacting. Maybe my tirade will seem appropriate with a few facts. Diet pills lure people because they promise quick and easy weight loss, but they contain toxic ingredients and harmful substances that are seriously threatening to one's health. Most diet pills are not regulated by the FDA, which means that they may contain more of the hazardous chemicals than advertised, and the combinations that exist among the different substances may be lethal. Many diet pills have been banned after people taking them have died or have had serious complications as a result- ephedra, fen-phen, etc.. If that weren't bad news enough, diet pills can cause the following (pull up a chair- this is a long list): nervousness, restlessness, insomnia, high blood pressure, fatigue and hyperactivity, heart arrhythmias and palpitations, congestive heart failure or heart attack, stroke, headaches, dry mouth, vomitting and diarrhea or constipation, intestinal disturbances, tightness in chest, tingling in extremities, excessive persperation, dizziness, disruption in mentrual cycle, change in sex drive, hair loss, blurred vision, fever and urinary tract problems. Overdoses can cause tremors, confusion, hallucinations, shallow breathing, renal failure, heart attack and convulsions (taken from www.something-fishy.org).

It's hard to imagine (especially after reading this list of health risks) that you all would use a cover girl for your magazine who has been so open about her use of diet pills in order to achieve a body that she is comfortable with. I think it sends such a poor message to young girls and women and discredits any guise that your magazine has of health. Please consider that young girls and women read your magazine and pick up on these messages. 'Beauty' and being thin at any cost is not health.