Join the Ralph Lauren Boycott~

One of the blogs that I follow is called Constance's Blog. Constance Rhodes is the founder of Finding Balance, which is a faith based non-profit that exists to create awareness about 'eating disorders not otherwise specified' (EDNOS, as it is often referred to) and disordered eating. For more information on her organization and website, follow this link and this link!

What I particularly enjoy about her blog is that various writers take turns blogging, and each have different backgrounds, struggles and perspectives, so the posts are always interesting as well as challenging. Today, Constance wrote about a time-sensitive boycott that is currently going on and I wanted to share her post with you so that you can participate in it if you would like.

You may or may not remember the recent hoopla in the media surrounding the model who was ridiculously photoshopped in a Ralph Lauren advertisement- the length of her head from ear to ear was wider than her waist!! Like most of you, I have seen the image and there are NO words to describe how awful it is! Darryl Roberts, who made a documentary called America the Beautiful (I've been meaning to post about him and his documentary!), has called for a boycott of Ralph Lauren. Why did he launch a boycott? This is what Constance blogged about today and I would encourage you to read it! You can read it by following this link. I have also copied and pasted it below for your convenience!

Hi friends. I know it’s been a long time since I posted and I have soooo much to tell you, but right now I want to ask you a personal favor.

If you care about the millions of women who are struggling with their body image, and if you believe that media images are a contributing factor to this problem, please go NOW to the ATB Boycott Ralph Lauren page on Facebook and add your name to the list.

If they can get 10,000 names by THIS FRIDAY, Dec 11, they can start a media blitz like we’ve never seen before.

The image below is what got it all started. Shocking, right? I mean, beyond just “skinny imaging.” It’s absurd. Normally we abstain from featuring potentially triggering imaging, but we can’t just bury our heads in the sand and ignore the absurdity of what we’re being told we must embrace as “fashion.”

It’s got to stop. And the guy who started the boycott (Darryl Roberts of “America The Beautiful” fame) is THE guy who can make it happen. But not without all of us.

You can make a difference by adding your name to the boycott.

Don’t plan to do it later. Do it now. And help start a revolution that has been a long time coming.

PS. AFTER you sign up, click to read the Huffington Post article about how Ralph bumped ATB off CNN to talk about the story. With 10,000 signatures we’ll get our shot yet!

Popsicles and PreSchoolers

The other day, I witnessed a pretty funny thing. I was at the gym, and I noticed two girls who looked to be about 6 years old. They were fully dressed in cute, girlie school clothes, walking on treadmills. Oh- and they were eating popsicles. Seeing this made me laugh at first- but then my rational side kicked in and I wondered how in the world they got there and I wanted to know where in the world their parents were! I watched them as they walked side by side, and panicked when they began walking on the same treadmill together; they migrated from machine to machine and even attempted to lift weights! To conclude their workout, they took some medicine balls and began trying to do crunches- but stopped and began trying to jump over them as though they were playing leap frog (all while each eating a popsicle). At first I just thought that they were cute, but the longer I watched them I started feeling a little weird about it. It was clear that they were intent on exercising, even though they were spending two minutes on one machine, then hopping onto another, then another. I guess it was their determination that seemed funny- they must have gotten some kind of message about exercise that led them to want to participate. Whether messages from family, culture or the media (or a combination of all three!), it is likely that multiple sources influenced (and continue to influence) these girls. In many ways, an act like theirs is child-like and innocent- similar to a little girl mimicking her mother by playing dress-up or putting on makeup. But in light of something that I read a day or so after encountering these popsicle-eating girls working out, I have started to wonder just how innocent the whole thing really was.

According to a recent study, nearly half of all 3 to 6 year olds worry about being fat (!!!). A study done at the University of Central Florida revealed that 31 percent of the girls surveyed almost always worry about being fat, while 18 percent sometimes worry about being fat. What we know about body image and young girls is that when young girls have poor body image and worry about their weight, they are much more likely to suffer from an eating disorder. The researchers in this study believe that TV is one of the strongest influences on a young girl's body image, as the media portrays a standard of beauty which often breeds conformity to this standard. I also think that another very strong influence is a girl's mother. If a young girl sees her mother obsessing over food, her weight or exercise, she will certainly pick up on this and will likely follow suit. Or, if a mother has poor body image, a daughter might adopt some of the same ways of viewing her own body. This is not to say that when a girl develops an eating disorder or has poor body image that her mother is to blame; however, it is important to recognize the impact that your own body image can have on your daughter's. Children are smart- never underestimate the power of modeling healthy choices and healthy self-esteem!

So what to do??? Here are a few ideas: Discuss perceptions of beauty- what is realistic and healthy, and what is not. Initiate discussions about the way that the media alters images via photoshop and other methods while you are watching TV or viewing other media together. Affirm qualities and skills that you see in your daughter/friend/sister, rather than focusing on appearance. A great resource that I have mentioned before is Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty. Follow this link to read more about what Dove is doing to help build self-esteem and positive body image in young girls. To view their website and to access tools and online workshops, follow this link.

The Truth About Dieting..

I have noticed over the last few days that there have been a LOT of advertisements on the radio that have mentioned the so-called 'consequences' of holiday eating and the word diet has been uttered many times in this context. One of the ads that I heard yesterday went something like this: "My pants aren't fitting me.. they are too tight and I can't get them on.. must be all that extra turkey and stuffing I ate. I really need to go on a diet and lose this weight fast. At least jeans are on sale at (-----) for 15$ so I can buy some new jeans until I lose all of this weight." I left out the name of the store not because I have a problem with jeans being 15$, but because the point is not about jeans- it is about how I have been hearing a lot about dieting lately!

Continuing to hear about diets and dieting over the last few days led me to want to post some information about dieting that you may or may not know. This post may be a little long, so bear with me- I think this info will be beneficial. Let me be clear though. I am not saying it is wrong or bad to want to be healthy or to want to feel good about yourself. What I am saying is that there are healthy and appropriate ways to pursue this goal, and drastic measures, unhealthy behaviors, and diets, are not included. Typically, diets promise quick weight loss with no regards to how much weight you actually want to lose, and the end result is that you turn out looking amazing. Diets are deceptions, because they are not capable of such guarantees. Here are some diet myths that help to point out the deception (thanks to Remuda Ranch for providing some of the information below):

Myth #1= You will lose weight. This is why most people pursue a diet in the first place, right? It may surprise you, but research shows that in the long run, 98% of dieters actually end up gaining weight. Why? Because the real issues behind food consumption and understanding metabolism are rarely addressed with a diet. And when unhealthy means are used, the weight loss is usually not maintainable.

Myth #2=You will look amazing as a result of your diet. If your goal is to look like someone else, or to look like some of the images that we regularly see on TV, in magazines, etc.. then you are chasing a goal that is not attainable. These images are altered by computers (check out this video for an example- yikes!). What is more is that a diet will not change your facial features, it will not make you taller, it will not make your legs longer, and it will not make your boobs bigger. Sorry:).

Myth #3=Diets are not dangerous. Whenever you restrict or cut out entire food groups (sugar, carbs, fat, dairy, etc..), this is dangerous-- especially for young people. Our bodies require a variety of foods in order to fuel our organs and keep us functioning effectively. Not to mention that studies show that dieting is an indicator of future eating disorders. A girl who diets before she is 14 is eight times more likely to develop an eating disorder. There are many health risks associated with dieting as well, such as weakened bones, dehydration and decreased heart rate.

Myth #4=Certain foods are bad. Often times, when we diet or approach food with a diet mentality, we label food as 'good' or 'bad.' We may even determine what food we consider to be good or bad based upon which particular diet we are on. The fact of the matter is that all foods are created equal and all foods can fit into a healthy lifestyle. There are no bad foods, only bad diets.

Myth #5= Diets give you control. Having a defined set of rules, especially when it comes to food, may convince you that you will be in control of what you put in your mouth. However, what often happens when you eat the same foods, or follow similar rituals each day with food, you begin to crave foods you have labelled 'bad' or 'outlawed.' This can lead to overeating and binges, which ultimately take you to a place you were trying to avoid to begin with. Also, diets usually make you cranky, they tend to decrease your energy, and they leave you feeling tired and pretty irritable. When you get to this point, the diet is controlling you, and you have little control.

Myth #6= Diets are safe and healthy. Maybe a little repetitive (myth #3), but if you chronically diet, you risk potentially altering the natural weight of your body. Over time, if your body weight fluctuates from higher to lower, and lower to higher, your body generally settles at a higher weight than it would have needed to be if it was not altered in the first place. Our bodies become confused, because they do not know if they will get what they need nutritionally, or if they will not receive any food at all. Our metabolisms slow down because our bodies think we are starving. The irony in this is that the exact opposite of what is intended is likely to end up happening.

Myth #7= You need to follow a diet. Here are some healthy guidelines to follow (compliments of Remuda Ranch) that are not diet-centric. Eat a variety of foods in moderation. Having variety allows for you to meet your nutritional needs; we cannot get all we need from one single food, or from a small number of foods alone. Listen to your body, and your stomach. Eat when you are hungry, stop when you are full. You don't need to eat food just because it is in front of you. Find out if you are eating because you are physically hungry or emotionally hungry (more on this to come..).

To conclude, Karen R. Koenig wrote a book called The Rules of Normal Eating. It is an extremely helpful book for anyone who has struggled with chronic dieting, overeating, undereating, emotional eating and anything in between. I wrote a post on her book awhile back and provided some suggestions that she outlines in her book as they relate to 'normal eating.'. Follow this link for more information.

Facials, Kate Moss and About-Face

One thing that I really enjoy in life is a good facial. They are surprisingly relaxing and do wonders for moisturizing your skin :). I was getting a long overdue facial yesterday afternoon, and Angela, the greatest esthetician in the tri-state area (call Mina's in Chapel Hill to get an appointment with her- I'm a big fan of Mina's and apparently Tyler Hansborough is also, who I saw getting his haircut there once..) mentioned that she had been reading my blog. We had such a great conversation about the myths/misperceptions about eating disorders, and the way that our culture and the media deal with the issue of weight and appearance. It was so refreshing to hear her express some of her thoughts, and to hear a voice speaking truth about eating disorders as mental illness- because that is what they are.

As our conversation evolved, we began discussing the comments Kate Moss made recently in an interview that she has since been getting blasted for in the media for making (we were probably mid-facial at this point- haha). For those of you who are unaware of what she said, I hate to bring it to your attention- but when asked if she has a slogan which she lives by, she answered "nothing tastes as good as thin feels." Not only was this comment irresponsible, as she is a public figure whom society/the media/the fashion world has deemed beautiful, and who many women look up to and aspire to be like, she is a mother to a 7-year old girl. The implications of her comments are extremely damaging in more ways than I can count. This is a slogan which has inspired many pro-anorexia websites, and is just a very, very destructive way for anyone's thoughts or actions to be guided. Not to mention the values that such a statement reflects. She has since said that her words were taken out of context- and while I would like to give her the benefit of the doubt, I am not sure how those words in any context might mean something different.

Just to be clear, the point of this blog post is not to demonize Kate Moss. I guess it just got me thinking about the media's response to her comments-- I just googled her name and 'her slogan' together, and 487 news articles have been written since she made these comments a few days ago. What I find ironic about this is that the media, who has pretty unanimously rebuked her for making these comments and have said what a horrible influence she is for essentially encouraging and endorsing eating disordered thoughts and behaviors, is also the same source who made her a household name by splashing her unattainable and sickly image everywhere. I think its a very indicting commentary on the mixed messages that the media dispels. What it seems to me that the media communicates is that the explicit message (her slogan) is not acceptable, but the implicit message (how she looks, appears, etc) is. It is a very confusing dichotomy, and one that continues to perpetuate unhealthy body image and unrealistic expectations and standards for young girls and women of all ages.

If you recognize and identify with what I am talking about in regards to the confusing ways the media projects values, I recommend that you check out a website called About-Face. This is an organization whose mission is to "equip women and girls with tools to understand and resist harmful messages that affect self-esteem and body image." This site is not solely for females- if you are a male, you certainly interact with females (as friends, sisters, daughters, wives, girlfriends, etc) and would benefit as well. You can access the site by clicking here. For 10 helpful tips on ways that you can work towards challenging these mixed messages and empowering yourselves and others, follow this link.

A Few More Thoughts- Girls and The Triple Bind

In my previous post, I wrote about girls losing their sense of self and the importance of helping them to see their worth and value by creating circles of protection around them. I came across a book this week that I wanted to share because I think that it complements some of these ideas. It is called The Triple Bind, which Dr. Stephen Hinshaw, the author, says is a term that represents a triple threat to young girls-- societal expectations, cultural trends and conflicting messages. He states that young girls are growing up in a momentous time- they have more opportunities than ever, but also more pressure than ever. He says that they are not only expected to excel at 'girl skills' (friendships, relationships, empathy, etc), but with increased opportunities, there is an expectation for them to achieve the same things that boys have historically succeeded in (sports, demanding careers, etc), AND do both while looking perfect in the process. That is a LOT to live up to.. It is no wonder girls are struggling to cope these days! Hinshaw states that by the age of 19, 1 in 4 girls will have either developed major depression, made a suicide attempt, participated in self-harming behaviors such as cutting, or practiced binge eating or other eating disorders. I would be surprised if this number were not higher.. For more information on his book, access Hinshaw's website here.

The Chicago Tribune published an article back in April about Hinshaw's book and made the point that any parent who has a daughter may want to read this book because regardless of age, all girls face these struggles today. The article, which can be read here, suggests that parents have a large role in helping their daughters develop healthy identities. So, as parents, what are some practical ways that you can help your daughter? I received an email in response to my last blog post asking a similar question as to what action to take to help young people navigate these pressures. An excerpt of the email is below:

Helping teenagers find their voices is also the reason I'm working towards teacherhood. I am aware of the difficulties facing young women, but as a public school educator, and a male one at that, what can I do to help specifically address these issues?

This is a great question. While the roles of parents and teachers are certainly different, I think there are a few suggestions that Hinshaw writes about that apply to both. First, encourage girls (as well as boys) to be discerning and critical of the media and the messages that are portrayed. Second, and this relates more to parents, spend quality time together over dinner; eating dinner together, while tough for many families to practice, has been shown to reduce the risk of eating disorders, as well as depression and drug/alcohol use. Third, encourage girls to volunteer and be involved in the community- whether it be community service, or involvement at church, being involved in something greater than yourself often helps one to gain a sense of purpose through a higher calling in your life. Talking and communicating with your daughters is SO important- talk to them and get feedback about the kind of support that they may need or want. Being able to communicate is so crucial, for both you and your daughter. For a few more pointers and helpful suggestions, follow this link to read some tips for communicating about body image, compliments of the Girl Scouts.