Kids, Mental Health and Hope

I like to think that I am a 'glass half full' kind of person. Generally, I try to see the good in people and situations, and am hopeful about change- if I weren't, I'm not so sure that counseling would be the best field for me! All that to say... I noticed the other day that while I was reading an article about young people and mental health, I found myself taking a 'glass half empty' mentality. Why??

Well, according to a survey funded by the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) which will soon be published in the journal Pediatrics, 13 percent of all children and young teens have at least one 'mental health disorder.' And of that 13 percent, only half have been evaluated and treated by a mental health professional. These facts indicate that while one half of young people are being treated, one half are not. This is a staggering number when considering that half of all youth with mental illness are receiving no treatment or help at all.

This survey sampled 3, 042 children between the ages of 8 and 15, and the findings were based on assessments of these children for six common mental disorders--anxiety disorder, panic disorder, eating disorders (anorexia and bulimia), depression, ADHD (attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder) and conduct disorder. For a bit of perspective, imagine if half of young people who deal with diabetes or asthma were living without medical treatment. To think about the number of children and teens who are suffering from untreated mental health issues is alarming. And sad! Research indicates that when mental health issues are not treated, they typically persist and become more severe with age. (I wrote a blog awhile back on teens and depression that addressed this issue- follow this link to read it and to learn some of the symptoms of childhood/teenage depression.) This is concerning because young children and teens who suffer from eating disorders, for example, and are not being treated are at serious risk for many physical and psychological problems. This is a serious issue!

The article suggested that part of this problem is due to the fact that there is a shortage of mental health workers that specialize in treating children, specifically psychiatrists. So what is a parent to do?? Perhaps we need to focus on educating more parents and teachers about the symptoms of anxiety, depression, eating disorders, ADHD, etc.. in children and teens so that they are able to notice the warning signs and advocate for their treatment. While mental health professionals have the tools and knowledge to diagnose and treat, parents and teachers are able to notice patterns of behavior in children over time that a professional is not necessarily capable of seeing when sitting with them for 30 minutes. To read this article in its entirety, follow this link, as well as this one for more info!

You'd Be So Pretty If....

The title of this blog post sounds a little terrible, right? I actually ripped off the title from the name of a book that I recently came across!! And for the record, the book is anything but terrible :). Dara Chadwick has written a book called You'd Be So Pretty If...: Teaching Our Daughters to Love Their Bodies--Even When We Don't Love Our Own, and she also writes a blog with the same title. She recently posted a few tips for modeling positive body image that I want to share because I think they are great. I would also like to point out that even if you are not a mother, or you are a mother and do not have daughters, this information is still really applicable. We may not have daughters (who are therefore influenced by the views we have of our own bodies), but we certainly impact the people in our lives (especially and specifically other women) based on the ways that we see ourselves. It is interesting to consider how learning to accept ourselves can actually help others to accept themselves as well.

So, while this may sound easier in theory than in practice (like a LOT of things!), here are five things that you can try (compliments of Dara Chadwick), that no matter how you feel about your body, may help you learn self-acceptance, as well as model it to others!

1: Silence the Critic. If you tend to say negative things about your body, criticize certain features you dislike or are not comfortable with, or make jokes about yourself, stop. Whenever you notice that you are doing this, stop yourself.

2: Act "as if." Imagine how you might feel or act differently if you were your ideal size or shape. Would you participate in different activities? Say hello to more people? Buy a certain style of clothing? If so, act out your feelings or engage in those activities and see if you notice a change in how you feel or how others respond to you. (Hint- you most likely will!)

3: Choose one thing. Focus on making one healthy choice each day- whether it is eating your breakfast, taking the stairs up one floor instead of the elevator, etc..

4: Be OK with change. Focus on being the healthiest, most content version of yourself that you can be. We all change as we get older, and as we go through different life experiences, our bodies change. Appreciating what our bodies do for us, considering the purposes that our arms/legs/hips/etc serve, and recognizing how functional they are can help us to accept our bodies/body parts rather than criticize them.

5: Find your own body image role models. Find women who model a healthy, positive attitude that you admire and respect. Maybe it's Scarlett Johansson, Kate Winslet, a friend who exudes confidence and charm, or a friend whose personal style you admire. By holding up a role model of unattainable perfection, we struggle to accept ourselves because we are never able to reach this ideal.

While change is often tough because it requires extra effort, energy, and a lot of extra thought, I believe it is worth it. It is worth it for us to accept ourselves, to feel good about ourselves and our bodies, and to encourage other women (friends, sisters, daughters) to accept themselves as well. For more on Dara Chadwick, follow this link.

EXTREMES!

One thing that I tend to mention a LOT on this blog is the impact that the media has on our perception of beauty, as well as body image. The media communicates powerful messages about beauty and it is important for us to be able to discuss and challenge these messages as we see them. I just read a great post that Lee Wolfe Blum made on her blog (You, Me and ED) and I wanted to share it- I think that she has some great things to say about the media's messages. I have posted the content of her blog below- I hope you enjoy it. You can also access her post (and blog) by clicking here.

EXTREMES!

Last night after a 12 hour day working with eating disorder patients I was anxious to chill on the couch and watch some brainless TV. The only options were:

1. The biggest Loser

2. Victoria’s Secret Fashion show

Really? Is this what our society has come to? On one show you watch people working as hard as possible to lose weight. The other show looked like a runway of anorexics. We live in a society of extremes don’t we?

Bad or Good.

Fat or Skinny.

And these extremes are pounded in our heads through the media.

So I ask you to consider as I do…what is the truth? The TRUTH is that God made bodies of all different shapes and sizes.Yep he did. We are not a one-size-works for all! And did you know that only 1% of the population has the genetic make-up to look like those Victoria’s Secret models! The rest of em…my guess is they are starving themselves. I had to laugh at one model's quote that came out today, One Angel, Selita Ebanks told the New York Daily News, "It's all about creating the illusion of this amazing body on the runway. People don't realize that there are about 20 layers of makeup on my butt alone."

And how about Heidi Klum who just had her 4th baby? She is not normal. Do you hear me. Not normal. Watching her walk down that runway and having people gush, "oh and she just had her 4th baby!" How about the millions of women who just gave birth who think they can look like her..then they become entrapped in Pregorexia! (Pregorexia is A condition where a pregnant mother is obsessed with being thin)

So what do we do with this land of extremes? How do we navigate it all? I encourage you to work towards body acceptance. Look at your body and when you aren’t living in extremes (over-eating or under-eating) what is your body shape, body size when you eat in moderation, exercise in moderation, and still enjoy life? Your body will find its homeostasis. And by not living in extremes your metabolism will level out. The yo-yo dieting, the overeating, the extremes will mess it all up. The key really is BALANCE and MODERATION!!

So I turned those shows off, grabbed my book and curled up in my bed. I don’t need the media putting images in my mind. I just want to be the person I was meant to be. I want to feel good about who I am. I want to walk down the street and scream out “I AM OK WITH ME DESPITE WHAT THE WORD TELLS ME TO BE!” . . Not the person Victoria’s Secret tells me to be. BUT ME. With my imperfections, stretch marks, and flaws. Me at the weight I was meant to be at! That makes me REAL!

So – join with me in learning to love and accept yourself for who you are. don’t buy those magazines that fill your head with unrealistic images, watch shows that give you unrealistic ideas, or play around with your diet because of the latest trend! If you are still struggling with eating issues...please get help! Take care of yourself. Do the things you love. Spend time with friends and family. Those are the things in life that matter!!

Happy Living!

Lee

Popsicles and PreSchoolers

The other day, I witnessed a pretty funny thing. I was at the gym, and I noticed two girls who looked to be about 6 years old. They were fully dressed in cute, girlie school clothes, walking on treadmills. Oh- and they were eating popsicles. Seeing this made me laugh at first- but then my rational side kicked in and I wondered how in the world they got there and I wanted to know where in the world their parents were! I watched them as they walked side by side, and panicked when they began walking on the same treadmill together; they migrated from machine to machine and even attempted to lift weights! To conclude their workout, they took some medicine balls and began trying to do crunches- but stopped and began trying to jump over them as though they were playing leap frog (all while each eating a popsicle). At first I just thought that they were cute, but the longer I watched them I started feeling a little weird about it. It was clear that they were intent on exercising, even though they were spending two minutes on one machine, then hopping onto another, then another. I guess it was their determination that seemed funny- they must have gotten some kind of message about exercise that led them to want to participate. Whether messages from family, culture or the media (or a combination of all three!), it is likely that multiple sources influenced (and continue to influence) these girls. In many ways, an act like theirs is child-like and innocent- similar to a little girl mimicking her mother by playing dress-up or putting on makeup. But in light of something that I read a day or so after encountering these popsicle-eating girls working out, I have started to wonder just how innocent the whole thing really was.

According to a recent study, nearly half of all 3 to 6 year olds worry about being fat (!!!). A study done at the University of Central Florida revealed that 31 percent of the girls surveyed almost always worry about being fat, while 18 percent sometimes worry about being fat. What we know about body image and young girls is that when young girls have poor body image and worry about their weight, they are much more likely to suffer from an eating disorder. The researchers in this study believe that TV is one of the strongest influences on a young girl's body image, as the media portrays a standard of beauty which often breeds conformity to this standard. I also think that another very strong influence is a girl's mother. If a young girl sees her mother obsessing over food, her weight or exercise, she will certainly pick up on this and will likely follow suit. Or, if a mother has poor body image, a daughter might adopt some of the same ways of viewing her own body. This is not to say that when a girl develops an eating disorder or has poor body image that her mother is to blame; however, it is important to recognize the impact that your own body image can have on your daughter's. Children are smart- never underestimate the power of modeling healthy choices and healthy self-esteem!

So what to do??? Here are a few ideas: Discuss perceptions of beauty- what is realistic and healthy, and what is not. Initiate discussions about the way that the media alters images via photoshop and other methods while you are watching TV or viewing other media together. Affirm qualities and skills that you see in your daughter/friend/sister, rather than focusing on appearance. A great resource that I have mentioned before is Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty. Follow this link to read more about what Dove is doing to help build self-esteem and positive body image in young girls. To view their website and to access tools and online workshops, follow this link.

The Truth About Dieting..

I have noticed over the last few days that there have been a LOT of advertisements on the radio that have mentioned the so-called 'consequences' of holiday eating and the word diet has been uttered many times in this context. One of the ads that I heard yesterday went something like this: "My pants aren't fitting me.. they are too tight and I can't get them on.. must be all that extra turkey and stuffing I ate. I really need to go on a diet and lose this weight fast. At least jeans are on sale at (-----) for 15$ so I can buy some new jeans until I lose all of this weight." I left out the name of the store not because I have a problem with jeans being 15$, but because the point is not about jeans- it is about how I have been hearing a lot about dieting lately!

Continuing to hear about diets and dieting over the last few days led me to want to post some information about dieting that you may or may not know. This post may be a little long, so bear with me- I think this info will be beneficial. Let me be clear though. I am not saying it is wrong or bad to want to be healthy or to want to feel good about yourself. What I am saying is that there are healthy and appropriate ways to pursue this goal, and drastic measures, unhealthy behaviors, and diets, are not included. Typically, diets promise quick weight loss with no regards to how much weight you actually want to lose, and the end result is that you turn out looking amazing. Diets are deceptions, because they are not capable of such guarantees. Here are some diet myths that help to point out the deception (thanks to Remuda Ranch for providing some of the information below):

Myth #1= You will lose weight. This is why most people pursue a diet in the first place, right? It may surprise you, but research shows that in the long run, 98% of dieters actually end up gaining weight. Why? Because the real issues behind food consumption and understanding metabolism are rarely addressed with a diet. And when unhealthy means are used, the weight loss is usually not maintainable.

Myth #2=You will look amazing as a result of your diet. If your goal is to look like someone else, or to look like some of the images that we regularly see on TV, in magazines, etc.. then you are chasing a goal that is not attainable. These images are altered by computers (check out this video for an example- yikes!). What is more is that a diet will not change your facial features, it will not make you taller, it will not make your legs longer, and it will not make your boobs bigger. Sorry:).

Myth #3=Diets are not dangerous. Whenever you restrict or cut out entire food groups (sugar, carbs, fat, dairy, etc..), this is dangerous-- especially for young people. Our bodies require a variety of foods in order to fuel our organs and keep us functioning effectively. Not to mention that studies show that dieting is an indicator of future eating disorders. A girl who diets before she is 14 is eight times more likely to develop an eating disorder. There are many health risks associated with dieting as well, such as weakened bones, dehydration and decreased heart rate.

Myth #4=Certain foods are bad. Often times, when we diet or approach food with a diet mentality, we label food as 'good' or 'bad.' We may even determine what food we consider to be good or bad based upon which particular diet we are on. The fact of the matter is that all foods are created equal and all foods can fit into a healthy lifestyle. There are no bad foods, only bad diets.

Myth #5= Diets give you control. Having a defined set of rules, especially when it comes to food, may convince you that you will be in control of what you put in your mouth. However, what often happens when you eat the same foods, or follow similar rituals each day with food, you begin to crave foods you have labelled 'bad' or 'outlawed.' This can lead to overeating and binges, which ultimately take you to a place you were trying to avoid to begin with. Also, diets usually make you cranky, they tend to decrease your energy, and they leave you feeling tired and pretty irritable. When you get to this point, the diet is controlling you, and you have little control.

Myth #6= Diets are safe and healthy. Maybe a little repetitive (myth #3), but if you chronically diet, you risk potentially altering the natural weight of your body. Over time, if your body weight fluctuates from higher to lower, and lower to higher, your body generally settles at a higher weight than it would have needed to be if it was not altered in the first place. Our bodies become confused, because they do not know if they will get what they need nutritionally, or if they will not receive any food at all. Our metabolisms slow down because our bodies think we are starving. The irony in this is that the exact opposite of what is intended is likely to end up happening.

Myth #7= You need to follow a diet. Here are some healthy guidelines to follow (compliments of Remuda Ranch) that are not diet-centric. Eat a variety of foods in moderation. Having variety allows for you to meet your nutritional needs; we cannot get all we need from one single food, or from a small number of foods alone. Listen to your body, and your stomach. Eat when you are hungry, stop when you are full. You don't need to eat food just because it is in front of you. Find out if you are eating because you are physically hungry or emotionally hungry (more on this to come..).

To conclude, Karen R. Koenig wrote a book called The Rules of Normal Eating. It is an extremely helpful book for anyone who has struggled with chronic dieting, overeating, undereating, emotional eating and anything in between. I wrote a post on her book awhile back and provided some suggestions that she outlines in her book as they relate to 'normal eating.'. Follow this link for more information.