The Monument of Our Hearts

In her book Do You Think I'm Beautiful, Angela Thomas makes a powerful statement: "You were made to be seen and known and loved deeply. And it's okay to want what you were made for." I love this. I think it speaks to the innate desire that we all have to be beautiful! I have been thinking a lot about beauty lately, and what it means to be beautiful (and loved... and accepted... as my last few posts probably attest). I have noticed lately that both professionally (with clients) and personally (with friends/family) that this is a topic that has not just been on my mind. Statistics would also support that.

According to statistics put out in August 2008 by the YWCA, the amount of cosmetic procedures (both surgical and non-surgical) has increased by 500%. The numbers are pretty staggering: 11.7 million cosmetic procedures were performed in 2007. While the media is not 100% to blame, the media does have a HUGE impact on the way that beauty is perceived and defined. For example, one study done by the YWCA found that after watching only 30 minutes of TV, a young woman can be impacted by the way that she perceives her body and her appearance as she compares herself to the 'ideal' she sees on TV. Thirty minutes! That is astounding. While these statistics are probably more sad than shocking, the question that I keep asking is- what can we do and where do we even start?? How do we begin to attempt to deal with the beauty crisis that we are facing? (And by beauty crisis, I mean the pervasive belief that beauty looks one way, which inspires the persistent quest to achieve this ideal..)

While I have not come up with an answer to this million dollar question (i'm still working on it! ha ha), I did stumble across an awesome clothing company recently called The Monument of our Hearts (TMOOH) that is pursuing and impacting change in this arena. The mission of their clothing company is to 'design apparel that creates conversations and empowers people to feel beautiful.' How cool is that? I had an opportunity to speak with founders Brett Clouser and Courtney Schreiber, and would love to share with you a little bit about what they are doing to promote positive body image and awareness in an industry that is obsessed with 'beauty' at any cost.

Me: I noticed on your website that you all are pursuing a goal of expanding the definition of beauty [so cool] and that you want to create more positive advocates for body image. What sparked your interest in creating clothes to inspire body confidence and positive body image?

Courtney: I had friends in high school that were concerned with body image, but it wasn't an issue for me until I went to college. When I went to Pepperdine-after growing up in New York- I was surrounded by people consumed by body image on a different level. I fell into that myself, and let body image related stuff consume my thoughts in college. My own experience led me to become passionate about helping others to find confidence, and to help figure out what is healthy for each person. My own confidence was affected- eating disorders and negative body image lead to low self-esteem. I want to encourage people to find confidence, to know that they are not alone. I want to help people begin the conversations about what a healthy body image could look like.

Brett: I went to college with Courtney. And I come from a lifestyle that wasn't as focused on appearance. In high school, we all care about our image, but people in my high school wore sweatpants. Going to school in Malibu was different- the general pursuit of image issues and the pursuit of ideals that were unattainable and superficial in their manner- that was the spark to the flame for me.

There were two specific incidences though that really impacted me. I was in a literature class with a driven, type A girl who would sit up near the front of the class. She was physically very frail and unhealthy looking. Over the course of the term, I noticed that she would have different supermodels on the backdrop image of her laptop. Supermodels that were extremely skinny and clearly at an unhealthy weight. This was this girl's ideal. I didn't have excessive interactions with her, but could see how these ideals could negatively impact her.

Another friend of mine had suffered from an eating disorder- not while I was friends with her; that was before we met. But I was able to see the psychological effects that the eating disorder had on her, and the convoluted idea of what she thought was beautiful. To see the pursuit of such ideals and how they affected human beings across all different levels was significant to me in that life was not being lived to the fullest.

The psychological impact of eating disorders and body image issues, and seeing people pursue unhealthy ideals is what led to designs being created for this company.

Me: What is it like to be part of an industry that promotes such different values than your vision? Have you all had to intersect with this at all?

Courtney: On a small scale, there have been comments about sizes of shirts offered, or the types of models that we use. We have to be strategic in how to promote the clothes. This is a great reminder to be thoughtful about what we put on our site and the messages that we communicate. Because of our goals and our mission, people are looking to us to set a standard.

Brett: Buyers for retail distribution channels are concerned with branding. A brand of stores is developed as a collaboration of all of the brands that are represented. So for example, if one brand is anti-fur, and they happen to sell a product with animal skin, there is an inconsistency. You have to be consistent. We haven't pushed our line into the marketplace yet. We want to navigate the waters differently and act in a way that is consistent with our goals and mission as a company.

Me: Your website is such a great resource, as it provides a community of sorts for people to engage in conversation about your clothing and other issues related to beauty and body image (which is part of your mission!). I love the section of your site that allows people to share how they have been impacted by your clothing- can you share any anecdotes or stories that stand out to you?

Courtney: It is unbelievable to read things that people submit, especially considering the fact that when others respond and comment they are anonymous and don't know each other. It's not one person's story that stands out to me, but all of the comments and responses that these stories elicit. I read Luke's story and others were inspired to send in their own stories because of what he shared. Another example is Amanda's story. People responded to her story, leaving comments to encourage her, which ultimately led to her posting again on her own story to share how she had been inspired. [follow this link to read Amanda's story]

After speaking with Brett and Courtney, I am an even bigger fan of their company. Their tees and sweat-shirts are great- check them out here: http://www.tmooh.com/wear-it/. A portion of the proceeds are donated to non-profit organizations that work to promote healthy body image, treat eating disorders, and educate people about real beauty! I would encourage everyone to check out their site- follow this link for more information about TMOOH. More importantly, in solidarity with their mission, I would encourage you all to start talking about beauty. Start engaging in conversations about what you see in the media, and what you believe is beautiful. I think we all long to be beautiful, and to be able to view beauty as more than appearance, as more than our bodies, and as more than our size or shape is a great start!

Operation Beautiful

A lot of girls play dress-up when they're little. It's fun to dress up and pretend to be glamourous. I know when I was little, getting the chance to play around with make-up, high heels and princess dresses was definitely a special thing. However, I don't really remember looking up to anyone in the media and idolizing them. I know that I watched TV, and I wasn't a completely sheltered kid. But I don't remember having the kinds of 'role models' today that many young girls do (like Hannah Montana, etc). For example, I was at Target the other day, checking out, and there were two five year old looking girls with one of their mothers. They were looking at all of the magazines on display and kept screaming, "Ooohh Taylor Swift, I love her, she is so pretty. She is so lucky that she is dating [so-and-so]." All I kept thinking was- how do they know this stuff? Haha. I mean, I watch TV and read up on celebrity gossip from time to time but it just seemed weird to me that they knew so much about Taylor Swift. It just dawned on me how different things are for children who are growing up now, and how much more intense, accessible and available media is for people of all ages.

I guess the concerning thing to me is that when girls this young are exposed to an ideal standard of beauty as dictated by Hollywood, they are shaped from this young age to view beauty as what they see on the covers of magazines. The issue is not that young girls should not think Taylor Swift is beautiful, or that magazines are horrible. I actually love Taylor Swift and think she is a good role model for young girls- she appears to be gracious, hard working, and humble- all things that make one beautiful. The issue to me is that if young girls (as well as women of all ages) are not seeing people of all shapes, sizes and colors, etc, in the media that are regarded as beautiful, then it is likely they will view beauty very narrowly. And, beauty is not just about looks! How many times have you met someone that is physically attractive or beautiful, and then they spoke or acted in such a way that made them unattractive to you? As much as it is a cliche, beauty (in Hollywood) is only skin deep! In a world where already 'beautiful' people are getting plastic surgery to enhance their image, the messages that are sent to women about beauty are not necessarily healthy or positive.

Someone recently shared with me about a really amazing movement going on that is called Operation Beautiful, which aims to help people embrace their beauty. The mission of Operation Beautiful is to end fat talk, which involves talking about weight, lamenting over the width of our thighs (or any other body parts), and comparing ourselves to others! The tag-line on their website is "Ending Fat Talk One Anonymous Post-It At A Time." They encourage people to leave positive, encouraging, anonymous notes in random places- public restroom mirrors in schools, restaurants, etc- to be seen by random people. (An example from their site: When the world says 'give in', stay strong! You are a fighter. You are beautiful. Have a great day!) They encourage people to leave the website address on the note so people can go to the site and find out more about Operation Beautiful. The site is awesome in that people share personal stories about how they have been impacted by an anonymous note, as well as the impact that leaving notes around for people has on them. This is such a great pro-active way to encourage people and to end fat talk. The person who told me about Operation Beautiful leaves anonymous post-it notes in the diet/health section at Barnes and Noble. What a great idea!! The reason I love this so much is that so often it is difficult to know how to do little things that positively impact people in a significant way- and this is an example of something that is super easy to do but that makes a big difference.

For more information on Operation Beautiful, follow this link. And view this video below for more information and to be inspired by what they are doing!

Mixed Messages and Making Moves..

This morning, I read a really thought provoking blog entry on True/Slant (which is a blogazine--kind of like a magazine, but a blog... umm, i might have made up that word!!). The author, Katie Drummond, was discussing Katherine McPhee's recent bikini cover on Shape magazine. McPhee, who gained fame after appearing on American Idol, has publicly discussed her past struggles with bulimia, and her experience of being admitted to treatment for three months prior to going on the show in order to focus on getting healthy. Ms. Drummond takes aim at Shape Magazine for putting a recovered eating disorder patient clad in a bikini (and airbrushed!) on its cover, as well as at McPhee for posing in a bikini and perpetuating unrealistic images of beauty after struggling herself with feeling pressure as a result of viewing similar unrealistic images in the media. Ms. Drummond's article is entitled A Lesson in Health Hypocrisy and she explores the hypocrisy that exists in this scenario. Her blog entry is a little angsty, but I appreciate the passion with which she writes because I think that by posing in a bikini for a magazine which happens to advertise 'drop a pound by Friday' on its cover, McPhee- and Shape- are sending some pretty mixed messages.

I wonder if McPhee, or Shape, or the media in general realize the impact that they are having on women by sending such mixed messages. I am not pointing the finger at McPhee (well, maybe I am a little), but she says in the article that doing six different 'moves' changed her body. This sets an alarm off to me. It's not that exercising is wrong, or trying to be healthy or fit is wrong, but it concerns me that her happiness and acceptance of her body are a result of the changes she has made to her body. It just sends the wrong message to women about where our happiness comes from. Again, the point is not to bash McPhee. I just think it is important to raise awareness and discuss some of these things that we become numb to, because whether we know it or not, these images impact us! While there is not one single cause of eating disorders, and while seeing unrealistic images of women's bodies do not cause eating disorders, these images can be a precipitating factor, when combined with a genetic predisposition and certain environmental factors.

A month from now, NEDA (the National Eating Disorder Association) is sponsoring National Eating Disorders Awareness Week--- February 21-27. I will be posting more information as this week draws nearer, but I wanted to mention it in light of what I read this morning on True/Slant. Rather than just venting about the media and that magazine cover, or discussing how things could or should be different, it is helpful to think forwardly and focus on what we can do to make some changes! One simple thing that I have mentioned before is using GoodSearch! This is a search engine, just like google, that donates money to nonprofits of your choice before you perform each search. You can donate to eating disorder nonprofits, as well as a bunch of other great organizations. Follow this link to find out more. The second thing that I wanted to mention is something that I read on NEDA's website the other day. Marilyn Wann, author of Fat? So!, developed an art activity for people to participate in that deals with transforming the numbers on scales to adjectives! Confused? The Boulder Youth Body Alliance (BYBA), a nonprofit that seeks to encourage teens to change the world, rather than their bodies, has encouraged teens to participate in this activity by turning scales into art. I love this idea and think it must be really empowering for women of all ages to take part in something like this! Follow this link to view pictures/examples of scales as art, and to read more about what BYBA is doing!