On Airbrushing..

Britney Spears has certainly lived out a few ups and downs in the public eye, but over the past year or so, she has remained relatively under the radar. Think what you want of Britney--this isn't an opinion piece on the life and times of Miss Spears; the purpose of bringing her up is to highlight something that she did recently that will hopefully impact many women all over the world.

So what did she do? She shot some photos for Candies, a clothing/shoe brand, as part of their new ad campaign-- and allowed the brand to release the un-airbrushed photos alongside the digitally altered photos so that we could see the differences that exist between these photos. In a society where unrealistic standards of beauty continue to be perpetuated, this act is a breath of fresh air in that it provides women of all ages a very clear example of the way that what we see is not always real! For a culture (ours) that exalts the beauty we see in print ads and pictures in magazines, it is pretty disturbing that most of these images have been doctored and are not representative of reality. I think on some level we may realize this, but seeing it really drives the point home.

Let me just say... Britney looks great in both photos. While the difference in the two pictures is very small, it is important for women to see that even Britney Spears has a little bit of cellulite. Does that keep her from being beautiful? No! Does that keep her from being successful? No way! So then why is it that we are prone to think that a little cellulite can keep us from being good enough? Or beautiful? To view the pictures of Britney before and after, follow this link. Scroll all the way down to see both pictures. I wish I could post them on my blog but I'm too tech-unsaavy to figure out how to do it :-).

Celebrities acknowledging and releasing un-airbrushed photos has become somewhat of a trend lately- Kim Kardashian, Kelly Clarkson and Faith Hill have all spoken out about the way their photos have been altered in print. I think the take away point here is that we have to be discerning about what we see. When we see pictures in magazines (etc), we must remember that what we see is not always what is real. Considering how much value we often attribute to these images and the lengths to which so many of us go to in order to look like these women (and their bodies), ... it is a real wake-up call, since even they do not have these bodies! We might say that our culture has created an unattainable ideal of beauty, but just to be clear, it is actually unattainable! It is manufactured via photoshop! While it is pretty difficult to avoid these images, I would urge you to view media with discerning eyes because what we see is not representative of reality. So next time you are flipping through a magazine, just remember that what you are seeing is more than likely not an accurate representation of women, beauty and bodies.

I read a great blog entry a few days ago on parents, adolescents and body image-- topics that have been on my mind a lot lately due to the nature of my work! For parents who are trying to navigate the rough waters of a child or teenager who is struggling with an eating disorder and poor body image, it can be daunting and difficult to know how to respond. For this reason, I often recommend a great book to parents called The Parent's Guide to Eating Disorders, written by Marcia Herrin and Nancy Matsumoto. I had a chance to ask Dr. Herrin a few questions which I will share with you below; she happened to also write the blog entry that I mentioned. Whether or not you are a parent, I think this information can be helpful because you likely have parents yourself, or parental figures in your life, or maybe you know young adults, children or teenagers that you work with, mentor, teach, volunteer with, etc.. While some of this info may not apply directly, some of it can be adapted to encourage healthy attitudes with food. To access the blog that Dr. Herrin writes with Nancy Matsumoto (who is doing some exciting work with athletes and eating disorders that I look forward to sharing with you soon), follow this link- the blog entry is copy and pasted below as well.

Watch Dieting and Bad-Body Talk in front of your Kids

In brand-new, not yet published research, my friend and colleague Dianne Neumark-Sztainer and colleagues at the University of Minnesota and the University of California, San Diego have found that messages from parents about weight and body image have a significant effect on adolescent body image. I have worked with a number of families in which a child, usually a daughter, is all of a sudden worried about her weight triggered by a parent who is dieting and/or talking a lot about how much she (or he--dads can have an affect here too) doesn’t like her body. I tell parents that if they are going to diet, DON”T TALK ABOUT IT!! in front of the kids. Dianne’s group also found that when parents when parents eat well, overweight teens tend to follow their example. Watch for this study: Family Weight Talk and Dieting: How Much Do They Matter for Body Dissatisfaction and Disordered Eating Behaviors in Adolescent Girls? in next issue of the Journal of Adolescent Health.

I think that it is important to point out that parents are not to blame for eating disorders!- however, there are ways that a parent can impact her child for the better and support the child in such a way that is effective! I had the awesome opportunity to ask Marcia Herrin, a nutritionist specializing in working with eating disorders and weight issues, a few questions, and wanted to share some of the helpful tips that she suggests for parents. Dr. Herrin is very respected in the eating disorder field- she founded the Dartmouth College Eating Disorders Prevention, Education and Treatment Program. She has a masters in public health as well as a doctorate in nutrition education. She currently runs a private practice and works with children and adults struggling with eating disorders and weight issues. For more information on Marcia, follow this link.

Me: You and Nancy have partnered together in your book The Parent's Guide to Eating Disorders. This book provides a lot of very helpful information for parents who may be worried about their children's eating attitudes and behaviors. If you could share two or three helpful tips for parents raising children, what might you say to them to help them to encourage healthy attitudes about food?

Marcia: Do not comment on your child's weight. Eat together as a family as often as possible. Do not talk about dieting or weight issues (yours or anyone else's) in front of your child. Do make sure lunch and dinner meals include protein and dessert.

Me: If you are a parent who suspects that your child is struggling with food, whether an eating disorder or disordered eating, what steps might you encourage them to take to help their child?

Marcia: First call your child's doctor or your area's most respected expert for their assessment of the situation. Then talk directly (calmly and kindly) to your child about your concerns and observations. Let them know that you are worried but not mad. In our book we say if you are "open, receptive, curious, honest, tentative, and work hard at understanding your child's point of view... no matter what words you use, your chances of success will be greater."

Me: Chapter 8 in your book is wonderful. It touches on body image and the ways that our own body image affects the body image of our children (and by extension those around us). Can you share a little bit about how a parent's negative or unhealthy view of their body or food can affect a child? Do you have any advice for parents who struggle with their body image or self-esteem?

Marcia: "Keep it to yourself" is the advice I give parents about their own struggles with body image or self-esteem. One of the riskiest situations is when a child observes one parent teasing the other about their weight or eating habits. Parents, even if they struggle to believe it themselves, need to preach "it is not what you look like that matters; it is who you are as a person and what you do."

Me: You write about PAMS (Parent-Assisted Meals and Snacks) and appear to have much success with this model, which has been adapted slightly from the Maudsley method. Can you share the heart behind this method and the success that you have seen with teenagers that you have worked with?

Marcia: One strength of PAMS comes from "saving face." When parents take over responsibility for the eating disordered child's food, the child has to eat even if she doesn't want to. She doesn't have to give up her eating disorder. She can relax knowing her parents aren't going to let her starve to death. She doesn't have to agree to eat, she is made to eat. PAMS helps parents know what and how much to feed their child. Some parents can figure this out on their own, but PAMS helps parents who are stressed and overwhelmed by their child's eating disorder hit the ground running with an approach to food that works. I have been in the field of eating disorders for nearly 25 years and I have never seen any other technique turn an eating disorder around as dramatically as PAMS does.

For more information on PAMS and other related topics, check out The Parent's Guide to Eating Disorders. If you are a parent who struggles with body image or food, the most important thing that you can do for your child is to work towards being healthy yourself! Whether that means seeking out a nutritionist, a therapist, or a consultation with your doctor, it is critical for you to be the very best you that you can be, for you and for your children! When Marcia says 'keep it to yourself' regarding your struggles, she means do not talk to your children about it. But it is okay and vital to talk about it with professionals, friends and family members if you are dealing with these feelings and behaviors.

What Defines You?

I was with a group of women yesterday leading a discussion on body image. We had such great conversations, but the one thing that kept coming up in our discussion (that comes up all the time!) is the pervasive idea that once we achieve our ideal weight or our ideal 'look', then we will be happy and complete and fulfilled. I think this is certainly a deception and a myth that our culture and the media sell us and encourage us to believe about ourselves. Have you ever thought that being your ideal weight/size/appearance would make you happy??

I am sure that we all have had thoughts like this at one point or another, but I fear that others of us have such thoughts most of the time. Yesterday, I talked with these women about how they define themselves, and where their self-worth and value comes from. One of the women said that her worth most certainly comes from the number that she sees on the scale each day. She said that she wished it weren't that way, but culturally that is what has been communicated as important, so she feels that the number that she sees each day on the scale is what makes her valuable and worthwhile. That made me so sad because we really are SO much more than our weight, our size, our bodies, our looks. We are too interesting, too complex, too great to be contained or defined by those things; we do ourselves such an injustice when we define ourselves and limit ourselves in these ways.

One thing that I encouraged these women to do, which I challenge myself and all of you to do as well, is to think about the people in your life that mean the most to you- whether it is family, a marriage partner or relationship, friends, or all of the above. When you think of the people that mean the most to you, consider what comes to mind. I doubt it is someone's weight or size. When you think of the people in your life that you love, you think of qualities that make them unique to who they are, or personality traits, or even experiences, memories, laughs and sorrows that have been shared between you.

At the risk of sounding cliche, I think it is important for us to focus our energy on developing character and inner beauty, and a sense of value and purpose which far outweigh our physical bodies. I believe that by simply being alive we have an innate sense of worth! We were created uniquely and wonderfully. It's not that wearing make-up, getting dressed up, or caring what we look like is bad- because it definitely isn't!!! But I think we sell ourselves short when we assume that if we could reach our 'ideal' weight, then our lives would be complete and we would finally be content. If you're not happy now, what makes you think you will be happy 5 pounds from now? This pathway of thinking is so deceptive and so destructive. When we base our worth and our value on things that change (cultural standard of beauty, what others think, etc), our happiness and peace of mind are never secure. That is no way to live! It is important to be rooted and grounded- whether that means finding your sense of worth and value in your faith, or finding it elsewhere, this is something worth meditating on and considering. After all, we only have one life to live, and being content and at peace is a much better way to go through life! It's also much better to go through life loving who you are and being able to appreciate the beauty you possess instead of wishing that you looked like someone else or were different than you are! We were all made beautiful- so let's work on being aware of that beauty and celebrating it in each other and ourselves.

"I Shouldn't, I've been so bad..."

"I have been SO bad today!" "I ate soo much yesterday, I cannot possibly eat today." "After that breakfast, I'm good until dinner!" How many times have you heard these kinds of comments, or made them yourself?? These are comments that we probably have all made at some point, and have also probably heard someone else make. So what's the problem with this kind of thinking about food?? Well, aside from being a form of 'fat-talk', this kind of thinking is very black-and-white, which is not usually an effective way to think about things. We see each decision or action as a total success or a total failure, which is rarely ever the case.

But even more than that, this kind of thinking about food fuels a diet mentality. I am not a nutritionist, and my training is not in nutrition, so I try to steer clear of getting into specifics about food! However, because I do work with clients who have eating disorders, I work with nutritionists (as we share clients) who educate me, in addition to any reading I might do! Anyways, Anna Lutz, a nutritionist that I have shared many clients with (who is currently on maternity leave- congrats Anna!) has had some helpful things to say on this very topic. First, our bodies do not take days into consideration. The patterns and behaviors that we establish with food over time are what matter to our bodies! In this vein, if we feel we have overeaten one day or are uncomfortable with a meal that we had last night or last week, our bodies do not react directly to that one event. One example of this is the way in which our bodies do not make drastic changes in 24 hours, even if we ate an extra serving or two of dessert the night before! Our bodies just don't work like this, even if we feel like they do! If we are consistently overeating or bingeing, then we are likely to notice a change in our bodies- and that is because we are establishing a pattern, and patterns are what our bodies respond to.

Our bodies will naturally gravitate towards our healthy weight (set point) when we are listening to them, by eating when we are hungry, and stopping when we are full. If we have a mentality towards food in which we have to 'make up for yesterday', it perpetuates an unhealthy cycle or pattern (binge/restrict) which does not move us in the direction of normal/healthy eating. This cycle also interferes with our bodies being able to find our set point! So next time you are tempted to cut out a meal one day or restrict calories because of what you ate the previous day, consider that your body reacts to patterns over time, and perhaps focus on trying to eat 'normally' by responding to hunger, stopping when you are full and choosing foods that you feel will satisfy you. For more information on eating 'normally', follow this link to read about The Rules of Normal Eating by Karen Koenig. This is a great book that I'd encourage you all to check out!

Michelle Obama and Jessica Simpson?

This has been such a busy week for me and I haven't had a lot of extra time to blog! But I do have some posts I am working on that I'm looking forward to sharing soon. In the meantime, I'd like to share an opinion piece that I read last week because I think it was spot on when it comes to the Goldilocks syndrome I wrote about a few weeks ago (read about that here!). I don't know why, but I'm always pleasantly surprised to read such thought provoking pieces about body image and weight on the Huffington Post. The HP recently added a 'body image' page to their site, which highlights stories about weight, eating disorders, body image and all things related- very cool. Anyways, below is the article I mentioned above, by Charlotte Hilton Andersen. Hope that you enjoy this piece and that it challenges you to examine where you can find middle ground in your life!

You know it's a weird month in celeb-land when Good Housekeeping cover girl, Michelle Obama,is photoshopped within an inch of her life and Marie Claire cover girl, Jessica Simpson, is not only un-airbrushed, but also sans makeup.

Both women are known for their beauty (oh, and by the way, Ms. Obama might also be married to the President of the United States, or something) and have been targets of intense media scrutiny regarding their looks. So it is fitting that each in her own way -- and you can't possibly be more surprised than I am that I'm putting Michelle Obama and Jessica Simpson into the same category -- is on a current campaign to reshape global attitudes about our bodies.

Ms. Obama has made headlines recently for departing from previous First Ladies' safe platforms and tackling the touchy subject of childhood obesity. After launching a nationwide initiative to "end childhood obesity in one generation" she reinforced her point by revamping the traditional Easter celebration at the White House. This past weekend she removed all candy from the candy-infested holiday and instead treated children to exercise stations hosted by Olympic athletes, hand-washing stations and the inexplicably named "pre-screened" fruit in their goody bags.

Strangely, the same media that laments the obesity crisis on a daily basis lambasted the First Lady for "stealing Easter." The Easter Bunny notes that he is "not threatened" by Ms. Obama, although he thinks some of the Olympians might have been looking at him funny.

Also making mixed headlines, Ms. Simpson has been traveling the world for her new reality show "The Price of Beauty" showing what women in other cultures perceive as beautiful and the means they use to achieve it. This week's episode had the girls and their hairstylist visiting Uganda to watch women being fattened in the name of beauty. This ritual, which to my Western eyes seems every bit as eating disordered as anorexia or bulimia, highlights an important point: not everyone thinks thin is as in as we do. In fact, adiposity is adorable in some cultures.

Somewhere in these extreme messages, there is a middle ground. Catwalk thinness and obesity are both undesirable from a health perspective. And neither should be a moral statement about the person possessing said body. Now, if only we didn't have to photoshop our already-gorgeous First Lady or take contrived pictures of the already-gorgeous Jessica Simpson to prove it.

To view the article as it was published on the HP, follow this link.