I have been thinking a lot about gratitude these last few weeks. I feel so inspired lately by all of the different people that I come into contact with in my life, and have been so thankful for the people that I work with, have fun with, laugh with ... everyday. Not to say that life is all rainbows and flowers, but I have noticed that trying to live with an attitude of thankfulness has the ability to drastically alter perspective (in a good way, of course!). The cool thing is that there is always something to be thankful for! That is what this picture reminds me of- to be thankful! Hope it serves as a good reminder to you, too :) 


Also, I am really excited to share an interview/post with you in the next day or two about two girls in Raleigh who are doing some very exciting things-- they will inspire you and will serve to reinforce this theme of thankfulness and gratitude. Happy Wednesday, everyone! 

The Week in Review...

As National Eating Disorders Awareness Week draws to a close (well, it's actually over as of yesterday- haha), I wanted to share a few quick highlights from went on in Raleigh this week. There were several events open to the public (if interested in seeing what they were, follow this link) and overall, they were pretty well attended! Ellen Morrison, a local dietician specializing in eating disorders, gave a talk on Tuesday night, in conjunction with a brave and strong recovered patient. Together they discussed what to do if you suspect a friend or loved one is struggling with an eating disorder. It was such a great presentation, and people had opportunities to ask questions and share. It was a great night. If you are interested in the information that was presented that night, shoot me an email or let me know in the comments section of my blog and I can get that for you!


On Thursday night, the documentary Beauty Mark was shown in Jones Chapel at Meredith College. I had not seen it before, and I highly recommend it. Diane Israel documents her journey of recovery from an eating disorder, as well as the media's influence on how we define beauty in our culture. Take a look at a clip below!


 


The last event of the week was a fashion/art show that honored women of all sizes and shapes. It was really a beautiful night. If I'm being totally honest, I was a little hesitant about the whole idea of having a fashion show, just because the fashion industry is SOO loaded when it comes to beauty/eating disorders/etc. While I understood the intention, and I knew that the models had been nominated for this event based on qualities of inner beauty, I still felt like a fashion show might send the wrong message. But I was SO wrong. It was actually such a powerful experience to see such a diverse group of young women modeling (cute clothes I might add- thanks for donating the clothes for the night, Francesca's!!). We also were able to auction off some art that had been donated by eating disorder patients. Proceeds will benefit NEDA, and will be added to the donations that are have been given for the Raleigh NEDA Walk. 

If you are interested in participating, volunteering or walking in the Raleigh NEDA walk that is coming up on Sunday April 3, follow this link to register or send me an email for more info! Would love to see your smiling faces, out supporting a great cause on an April Spring day! :) And as a disclaimer, you don't have to walk on the day of the event. You can just come out and show your support! There will be different things going on- booths, a speaker, a silent auction... I can't wait! :)

On 'Health'

In going along with my new theme of 'compassion' (see this post for more), I really really want to address the comments that Rush Limbaugh made on Monday about Michelle Obama. I just heard about this-- and am thankful for an opportunity to work on being compassionate:-). For those of you who haven't heard (I almost hate to tell you), but on his radio show on February 21st, Limbaugh made some pretty inflammatory comments about the First Lady. As you may know, she has worked very hard on initiating a campaign to fight childhood obesity. There have certainly been mixed feelings from the eating disorder community concerning her approach, but nonetheless, she ended up adding eating disorders under the campaign's umbrella and is (hopefully) working to address eating disorders as well.

Anyways, from what I understand, Michelle O. was vacationing at a ski resort recently with her family, and it was made known that she enjoyed a nice dinner while she was there, which included ribs. Limbaugh's comments: "The problem is, and dare I say this, it doesn't look like Michelle Obama follows her own nutritionary, dietary advice. We hear that she's out eating ribs at XXXX calories a serving with XXX grams of fat per serving. I'm trying to say that our First Lady does not project the image of women that you might see on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue or of a woman Alex Rodriguez might date every six months or what have you." He went on to say, "She's a hypocrite. Leaders are supposed to be leaders. If we're supposed to eat roots and berries and tree bark, show us how." Yikes!!!

While I am really sad that he made these comments, and would like to respond with some choice words, I think this is a great opportunity to address an important issue! Perhaps this whole exchange once again highlights the fact that we really struggle with extremes in our society. Black and white thinking, the 'diet mentality' .... call it what you want. But seriously-- who decided that you can't be healthy and eat ribs at dinner when you're on vacation (or not on vacation)? Being truly healthy requires moderation and balance. Simply eating "roots, berries and tree bark" would be just as much of a problem as if we all ate ribs for every meal.

Another thing I want to challenge is the assumption that looking like a swimsuit model is the picture of health. I could be wrong here, but it sounds like Limbaugh is saying that Mrs. Obama should look like a model. You cannot tell how healthy someone is simply by looking at them. Of course in extreme cases, yes- you can see with your eyes when someone might be ill (very underweight or very overweight). But people who may look fit, toned or 'in shape', thin, those who look average and healthy, ... they may have heart problems, blood pressure problems, bone density issues, etc due to unhealthy behaviors (diet pills, over exercise, steroids, purging, etc)... You never know how someone is treating their body and you never really know how healthy someone is just by looking at them. To infer that Michelle Obama needs to look like a swimsuit model in order to prove that she is following her own dietary advice is almost kind of funny because it is just so not true. The suggestion that swimsuit models or girls that A-Rod dates are the barometer of health is, in my opinion, one of the reasons why women in our culture struggle so much with knowing what it is to be truly healthy, not to mention why they have a tough time believing that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. Most people (95% of the population in fact) could be healthy, balanced eaters and no matter what, will not ever have bodies that look like models. 5% of the population has a body type in nature that resembles that of a model.  And then there is airbrushing...  many of the models and images that we see are not even real. The point is- we aren't all made the same and we all have different body types, bone structures, etc. It is irresponsible to perpetuate the myth that 'health' looks one way, but it is also irresponsible for us to buy into it.

This post is getting lengthy- so I will conclude by encouraging you to think about what true health is and where you came up with your beliefs about what it is to be healthy. 'Health' is a loaded word. Limbaugh's assertions about health are clearly skewed, but remind all of us that we need to take a step back and consider what true health really looks like. Are extremes a measure of health?? How do you know if you are being truly balanced in your approach with food? These are important questions to consider.

Body Image Role Models...

There have been a lot of articles, blog posts, etc. circulating this week on behalf of National Eating Disorder Awareness Week (NEDAw). I read one in particular today that I wanted to share. It is awesome. Dara Chadwick, an author and blogger ("You'd Be So Pretty If...") often writes about her experiences navigating through body image issues as the mother of a small daughter. In her post, she was addressing the issue about whether or not mothers can be body image role models for their daughters if they have body hang-ups of their own. The cool thing about her post is that having children or daughters does not make this post any more or less relevant. I think this is an important question for all of us!! How do we model positive body image to friends, family members, etc, if we sometimes have those days when we don't exactly feel so hot?? What does it mean to have a healthy body image? I love this post. Check it out below-


This past week, I did a reading and body image talk at a local library. I love talking to small gatherings because they often turn into interesting and thought-provoking discussions, and I adore the energy of a great exchange of ideas.

During our discussion, one participant -- who runs a program for teen girls through an area women's resource center -- mentioned that she often struggles with talking to "her girls" about body image because she herself doesn't always feel good about her body. It's a question I hear from moms time and again (and one that inspired the subtitle of You'd Be So Pretty If...) -- how can I raise a daughter who feels good about her body when I don't feel good about my own?

I understand that feeling. Believe me, on days when I look in the mirror and find myself displeased with the image that greets me, I feel like a hypocrite. What kind of body image role model am I if I can't accept myself as I am, always?

But as I thought more about that very question, I came to this conclusion: I'm a good body image role model. To borrow a theme from Oprah, what I know for sure from all my thinking, writing and talking about body image is that perfection doesn't exist, including being the perfect role model. There's no finish line in the body image race -- no point at which we can say, "That's it. I'm done." Self-acceptance is a process, and the reality is that we'll be better at it on some days than others.

Here's what I can say with clarity: Awareness is key. Being aware of -- and owning -- the ways that we disparage, belittle, sabotage and beat up on ourselves is the first step in building a healthier body image. Negative thoughts might creep in from time to time, but I can stop, acknowledge them and re-direct my thinking. In doing so, I build my capacity for breaking the cycle of negative thinking and for re-framing my thoughts in a more positive way. And, in time, positive thinking builds on itself and changes the way we see and talk about ourselves.

Making that choice every day, and teaching others that they can make a similar choice, is at the heart of being a good body image role model.

So, no, you don't have to never have a negative thought or love everything about the way you look to set a great example. You just have to be willing to challenge what you think you see.

Here's to all the body image role models out there.

In other news, I am looking forward to hearing my friend and colleague Ellen Morrison speak tonight at Meredith College on "How to Help Others With Eating Disorders." If you are in Raleigh, come on out- she is speaking at 7pm in Ledford Hall (it's free!) to raise awareness about eating disorders in honor of National Eating Disorder Awareness Week (NEDAw). 

Love Your Body Week (a movement started by the National Organization for Women Foundation) happens to coincide with National Eating Disorders Awareness Week. In honor of both (which started yesterday!!), I thought I would share this video below. It has a really encouraging, positive message about loving ourselves and our bodies. As they are. Students at the University of Utah made this video, which is pretty awesome.

For more information on how you can get involved or participate in events taking place in your community this week, follow this link. You don't even need to plan an event or attend an event to make a difference! Doing just one thing this week to raise awareness is key! Educate yourself by reading something new, share some myths about eating disorders with someone that you know (who doesn't know!), contribute your time or money to a local or national organization spreading messages about positive body image.  No matter how big or small, everything counts :) If you live in Raleigh, follow this link to check out free ways you can be involved this week!