Who Do You Want to be in 2010?

So, in my last post, I talked a little bit about behavioral change, neural pathways and New Year's resolutions (yawn- haha). I think one of the important points that I was trying to make is that change can be difficult. However, it is not impossible or too difficult to attempt! I am all for change and love when people become inspired to grow and change in any way- that is one reason I do what I do! I think it is important though to be educated about the process of change as it helps to make sense of why some changes can be more difficult to make than others (which goes back to neural pathways, the brain and emotions).

I am going to rewind for a minute and talk strictly about New Year's resolutions and the pervasive nature/themes of New Year resolutions. If you were to take an inventory of the last few days, or even the last week, how many articles, commercials, conversations or facebook statuses have you noticed or observed that have had to do with weight loss, calories, fitness regimes, detox diets, plans for getting in shape, etc... ? I know that I have seen and encountered countless. I think often times New Year's resolutions are synonymous with weight loss and fitness goals. Out of curiosity, I googled New Year's resolutions to see what would come up, and about.com's top ten list of the most common resolutions popped up first in my search. Up to this point, I had never heard of about.com, but I am a sucker for lists and couldn't pass up finding out what made their top ten. Here it is:

1. Spend more time with family and friends.
2. Fit in fitness
3. Tame the bulge
4. Quit smoking
5. Enjoy life more
6. Quit drinking
7. Get out of debt
8. Learn something new
9. Help others
10. Get organized

It didn't surprise me at all that two of the top ten resolutions involved fitness or weight (as it reflects the values and messages that our society and media hold), but what did surprise me was that helping others, learning something new and enjoying life more were all on the bottom half of the list. There is certainly value in being healthy, and I think health should be a priority. If this means that in order to be healthy, you need to gain a few pounds, or lose a few pounds, then I encourage you to pursue health. But it is important to view health not solely as a physical thing- our health is more than just a physical measure. It also includes our mental health, our spiritual health and our emotional health. I think before we make any resolutions, or goals for ourselves, we may need to step back to see if these goals are consistent with our values and who we want to be before we move forward with them!

Maybe one thing that you can do instead of making a list of New Year's resolutions is to think about the kind of person that you want to be in 2010. Take a close look at what is influencing and shaping you as a person. Is it friends? Is it the media? Is it God? Is it family? It might be helpful to consider the sources of influence in your life, and decide if they are positive and helpful in becoming the person that you were made to be! I heard someone wise say that whether we know it or not, we all worship something based on how we live our lives and what we give our time, our attention, and our thoughts to. For some of us, there are great obstacles and challenges to overcome in order to be the person that we want to be, but there is hope in pursuing a life that is filled with meaning, intention and purpose. I would encourage you, as I encourage myself as well, to examine the kind of person that you want to be, the character traits and qualities that you want to exhibit, the experiences you want to have, and the life you want to live- and move forward in a direction that is consistent with those things.

Happy New Year!!! :) :)

Happy New Year everyone! I hope that you all had a happy and safe holiday! I am so thankful for this past year of my life and for all that I learned both professionally and personally. I am really excited that 2010 is here and I am optimistic that this is going to be the best year yet. I love that a new year affords each one of us opportunities to experience new things, try things differently than we have in the past, and to make a fresh start... which brings me to the subject of ...New Year's resolutions!

I personally think New Year's resolutions are a little over-rated. And, according to a study I read recently, which stated that 92% of new years resolutions are not kept, I would say the experts probably agree with me (ha ha) :). To be fair, I found many conflicting statistics about how many people actually keep their New Year's resolutions- the general theme though is that more than half of people that make resolutions do not keep them. Why is this?? Well, I am sure there are lots of different reasons, but I would imagine that it has to do with people having unrealistic expectations and goals as well as desiring to make behavioral changes that require the brain to make actual physiological changes. This process which involves the creation of new neural pathways in the brain is probably a topic for another blog post, but I have provided some basic background information below (courtesy of a site that you can also view below) that may be helpful for conceptualizing behavioral change.

Neural Pathways

The basis for working with, and modifying, habits comes down to the creation and reinforcement of neural pathways.

Neural What?

Our brains are made of neurons. If you imagine the habit of putting on your seat belt, there is a sequence of events that occur. You sit, your arm reaches across to grab the belt, your arm pulls it across your body, and then inserts the buckle. For the sake of this example, imagine there is an individual neuron responsible for each step. All the neurons connected together to form this action, this behavior, is a neural pathway.

Once these pathways are established, and are 'triggered', they function automatically. Depending on how they were created, and what reinforcement they have had, they can be very difficult to change.

Behaviors, Habits and Beliefs

If you consider a simple habit, like locking the door or putting your seatbelt on once you get in your car, it is an automatic function. You do not consciously think about doing it. It is a dominant neural pathway generally created via repetition. Most people can change this habit given time and reason. People that have had a traumatic event around one of these functions, such as being followed to their car or experiencing an auto accident, may have a much more difficult time changing this habit. Their neural pathway was created by repetition and reinforced by strong emotion. If they were to try changing this behavior, they would be working 'against' a dominant neural pathway with a strong emotional association.

To find out more info about the brain and behavioral change, and how neural pathways are created and re-created, click here! Very interesting stuff. And on a side note, you may get where I am going with this as it relates to eating disorders and eating disorder behaviors.... but the habits and repetitious nature of particular compensatory behaviors (purging, etc) make change very difficult. More on this later, but this is an important physiological piece in eating disorder treatment/recovery and so I want to come back to this! I do want to say that this information is is no way meant to provide an out for people in that it relieves one of taking responsibility for his or her actions, but it is important for us all to be educated about the process of change and how truly difficult it is! I don't know of many who think that change is a simple process, but this provides more evidence that change is not typically an easy 'snap your fingers and voila' kind of process.

So, what does this all have to do with New Year's resolutions and more importantly, body image and weight? Great question! :) I am going to follow up with another post on this shortly. I sort of got sidetracked on the neural pathway train, but my thought process is that culturally we all tend to make various resolutions for the new year, and I wanted to examine this process.... especially since most people have resolutions that involve going to the gym more, losing weight, ... resolutions that are focused on weight and our bodies. If you are reading this, please check back in soon for more on resolutions!! And again, Happy New Year!!!!

ps- the site used in this post as a mini tutorial on neural pathways is a hypnosis site- as a disclaimer, i do not use hypnosis nor do i know much about it. i am not promoting hypnosis, i simply appreciated the clear and simple manner in which this site detailed information on neural pathways!

Recovery- Part 2... Shine Your Light

If you or someone that you know is in recovery from an eating disorder, here is an awesome opportunity... so please take note!!

The Renfrew Center Foundation is offering a FREE seminar on January 5, 2010 at 9 different locations. The seminar is entitled Home for the Holidays: Shine Your Light and topics advertised as included for the workshop are:

*eating challenges during holidays

*how to alleviate holiday stress and pressure

*taking responsibility for your own health and recovery

*survival strategies to stay focused on your recovery

*creating and sustaining relationships at home, work and school.

For a little background.. The Renfrew Center was the first freestanding facility in the US for specifically treating eating disorders, and they now have seven facilities in five different states. The Renfrew Center Foundation is a non-profit organization that serves to educate and train professionals, promote healthy body image, conduct research, advocate and educate policy makers, and provide assistance for women and girls. It receives its funding from The Renfrew Center, as well as private donors. The Renfrew Center and The Renfrew Center Foundation are committed to raising awareness about eating disorders as well as treating them; together they have had a significant impact on the lives of many young girls and women.

If this interests you, these FREE workshops are being held in Radnor, PA; Coconut Creek, FL; New York, NY; Ridgewood, NJ; Wilton, CT; Bethesda, MD; Charlotte, NC; Brentwood, TN; Dallas, TX. If you are close to one of these locations or desire to travel to one of them and are interested in attending, follow this link to register. If you are interested in attending the Florida location, click here as the registration is different.

Maybe the Grinch Was Depressed... ?

Merry late Christmas everyone! Better late than never, right? :) I have been so busy and wish I could have posted sooner, but again... better late than never!!

Even though this post has to do with the holidays, and Christmas is now 364 days away, I think that we are still on the heels of the holiday season. We still have to make it through that awkward week after Christmas/week before New Years- a time that is often used to reflect on the past year while pondering the new one. While we all have things to be thankful for, sometimes the holidays can be overwhelming and the thought of a new year can be daunting.

For this reason, and many others (family stress, financial stress, eating disorder/body image stress), the holidays are not an uncommon time for people to feel sad, grumpy, irritable, ... depressed! I came across an article about depression in which psychologist Cynthia Bulik uses the Grinch as an example of one who exhibits symptoms of depression. In this article (which is titled, Grinch Likely Depressed, Suffers From Lack of Love, Joy) she says, "Everybody's always down on the Grinch. But one of the things I've always asked myself is whether the Grinch himself might be feeling kind of down." She uses him as an example (and it's so cute) which helps to illustrate the different forms that depression can take. What is important to realize is that while often we associate depression with people who are sad, people that are depressed may exhibit little sadness and more irritability, general feelings of misery, and/or social withdrawal.

To read this article, and to find out more about depression, follow this link. And to read a great blog post on assessing depression written by one of my favorite therapist friends,Whitney, follow this link.

You'd Be So Pretty If....

The title of this blog post sounds a little terrible, right? I actually ripped off the title from the name of a book that I recently came across!! And for the record, the book is anything but terrible :). Dara Chadwick has written a book called You'd Be So Pretty If...: Teaching Our Daughters to Love Their Bodies--Even When We Don't Love Our Own, and she also writes a blog with the same title. She recently posted a few tips for modeling positive body image that I want to share because I think they are great. I would also like to point out that even if you are not a mother, or you are a mother and do not have daughters, this information is still really applicable. We may not have daughters (who are therefore influenced by the views we have of our own bodies), but we certainly impact the people in our lives (especially and specifically other women) based on the ways that we see ourselves. It is interesting to consider how learning to accept ourselves can actually help others to accept themselves as well.

So, while this may sound easier in theory than in practice (like a LOT of things!), here are five things that you can try (compliments of Dara Chadwick), that no matter how you feel about your body, may help you learn self-acceptance, as well as model it to others!

1: Silence the Critic. If you tend to say negative things about your body, criticize certain features you dislike or are not comfortable with, or make jokes about yourself, stop. Whenever you notice that you are doing this, stop yourself.

2: Act "as if." Imagine how you might feel or act differently if you were your ideal size or shape. Would you participate in different activities? Say hello to more people? Buy a certain style of clothing? If so, act out your feelings or engage in those activities and see if you notice a change in how you feel or how others respond to you. (Hint- you most likely will!)

3: Choose one thing. Focus on making one healthy choice each day- whether it is eating your breakfast, taking the stairs up one floor instead of the elevator, etc..

4: Be OK with change. Focus on being the healthiest, most content version of yourself that you can be. We all change as we get older, and as we go through different life experiences, our bodies change. Appreciating what our bodies do for us, considering the purposes that our arms/legs/hips/etc serve, and recognizing how functional they are can help us to accept our bodies/body parts rather than criticize them.

5: Find your own body image role models. Find women who model a healthy, positive attitude that you admire and respect. Maybe it's Scarlett Johansson, Kate Winslet, a friend who exudes confidence and charm, or a friend whose personal style you admire. By holding up a role model of unattainable perfection, we struggle to accept ourselves because we are never able to reach this ideal.

While change is often tough because it requires extra effort, energy, and a lot of extra thought, I believe it is worth it. It is worth it for us to accept ourselves, to feel good about ourselves and our bodies, and to encourage other women (friends, sisters, daughters) to accept themselves as well. For more on Dara Chadwick, follow this link.