Love Yourself.

I just read this opinion piece on CNN.com about dieting and wanted to highlight it because it is definitely worth the read (and it fits in especially well with all my recent posts about dieting and New Year's resolutions!!). Dr. Leo Buscaglia's quote above is also one that you may want to go back and re-read a few times after you read this article as well! Anyways, the author of this piece, Dr. Divya Kakaiya, is a psychologist who has been treating eating disorders since 1985; she is also the clinical director and founder of Healthy Within, an eating disorder treatment center in San Diego. Her main premise in this article: don't diet. While she writes from the perspective that dieting mothers do not set a good precedent for their children, whether or not you are a mother does not make this article more or less relevant. I would encourage everyone to check it out. You can follow the link above, or read it below. Enjoy! :)

Welcome to 2010. What is your New Year's resolution? Are you planning on investing more money into the annual $40 billion dieting industry? If so, please think again.

As we start our work week, many of us are looking in the mirror and saying "Yuck. I feel fat, uncomfortable and need to go on a diet."

Dieting and the language of "fat" have become so normal that we don't think twice before we say, "I have to go on a diet, I have gained so much weight."

If we are parents of teenagers, we may as well be saying to them, "Change yourself, fix your body. You're not perfect and never will be." Is this how we want to empower our youth?

You spend countless hours raising your child with the values of honesty, integrity and the importance of the work ethic. But if you are dieting and complaining about how fat you are, you could be putting your teenager at risk for an eating disorder. As a psychologist who has been treating eating disorders since 1985, I worry that there could be a connection between dieting parents and teenagers who develop anorexia or bulimia.

The 6-year-old girl who is watching her mother suck in her stomach in front of the mirror is going to look at her belly poking out and immediately think that she is fat.

How awful that we just inadvertently planted the seed of lifelong discontent with her body into the innocent mind of a 6-year-old.

We have to be mindful of what we really want to emphasize as important. In this quick-fix world of Botox, plastic surgery and fad diets, our children are not being taught how to tolerate discomfort and how to work hard and patiently.

"Now" is the demand word that parents feel compelled to cater to. We could be creating a generation of self-obsessed, narcissistic children. Do we really want them to feel that the glamour of "Gossip Girl" is the goal of their lives? We must draw the line by examining our own core values.

The majority of us know that the quick fix is not going to work, yet we feel compelled to throw ourselves into the despair of broken diets, broken resolutions, broken promises and worse, a pervasive sense of shame that attacks the core of our being.

We are so inundated with messages that are constantly redefining what is healthy that in our confusion we forget what is normal eating and a healthy, balanced lifestyle.

The "diet monster" gobbles up our self-esteem and makes us return to that unfaithful lover again and again, only to drop more money into that $40 billion pot. We could use that money to educate millions of brains each year, better our schools, reduce poverty and attend to our elderly.

Of course, eating healthily and staying active are very important. But of those who lose weight through dieting, 98 percent gain it back again in two years. Diet is a four-letter word that begins with "die." Isn't that ominous enough?

This year, create an intention not to diet.

When you do this, you are consciously rejecting the appearance-obsessed, materialistic culture that inundates us. An intention to honor your soul instead of your appearance -- to choose to give back in the community, volunteer, give time to the elderly -- will make you feel stronger.

Instead of spending time counting calories or going obsessively to the gym, donate those hours to a shelter for abused women. Love your body. This year, make it your intention to teach your teenager to reject the appearance-obsessed world she lives in and have her give her heart instead of changing her body.

Caution: This approach might make you start to love your body and you may waver on your New Year's resolution to lose weight!

As January unfolds, we are going to be blasted with commercials from multiple sources, with each one touting a permanent relief. The net result of these commercials is to get us to continue to hate our bodies so that these diet companies can make money off our body hatred.

There is also a political reason for women to be held to a high "thin" standard of perfection. We are then no longer a threat to anyone who wants power. "Body Wars" keep women in their place and are economically driven.

Let us assert our power by rejecting the dieting mantra, and standing our ground.

Dieting is Dangerous?

2010 is in full force, and I have heard a LOT of people talking about wanting to 'get in shape' and start diets. Magazine covers are spilling celebrity diet secrets, and people are doing health cleanses and detox diets to start the year off healthy. (Just for the record, detox diets and cleanses- aside from being dangerous- are kind of silly; the reason that we have a liver is so that our body can naturally process and remove toxins!)

According to this article, dieting is America's most dangerous New Year's resolution. Why are diets dangerous? Well, for one, they can trigger eating disorders in some people. But diets are also ineffective- 95% of diets fail. This likely means that our bodies are not getting what they need- they either receive too little or too much, which has negative health ramifications either way. I wrote a post recently on common diet myths that I want to re-post in light of it being 'diet season'. I think it is important that people have some facts about diets before they embark on one. Below is an excerpt of the post, jumping right in with 7 myths of dieting- if you would like to read the entire post, follow this link.

Myth #1= You will lose weight. This is why most people pursue a diet in the first place, right? It may surprise you, but research shows that in the long run, 98% of dieters actually end up gaining weight. Why? Because the real issues behind food consumption and understanding metabolism are rarely addressed with a diet. And when unhealthy means are used, the weight loss is usually not maintainable.

Myth #2=You will look amazing as a result of your diet. If your goal is to look like someone else, or to look like some of the images that we regularly see on TV, in magazines, etc.. then you are chasing a goal that is not attainable. These images are altered by computers (check out this video for an example- yikes!). What is more is that a diet will not change your facial features, it will not make you taller, it will not make your legs longer, and it will not make your boobs bigger. Sorry:).

Myth #3=Diets are not dangerous. Whenever you restrict or cut out entire food groups (sugar, carbs, fat, dairy, etc..), this is dangerous-- especially for young people. Our bodies require a variety of foods in order to fuel our organs and keep us functioning effectively. Not to mention that studies show that dieting is an indicator of future eating disorders. A girl who diets before she is 14 is eight times more likely to develop an eating disorder. There are many health risks associated with dieting as well, such as weakened bones, dehydration and decreased heart rate.

Myth #4=Certain foods are bad. Often times, when we diet or approach food with a diet mentality, we label food as 'good' or 'bad.' We may even determine what food we consider to be good or bad based upon which particular diet we are on. The fact of the matter is that all foods are created equal and all foods can fit into a healthy lifestyle. There are no bad foods, only bad diets.

Myth #5= Diets give you control. Having a defined set of rules, especially when it comes to food, may convince you that you will be in control of what you put in your mouth. However, what often happens when you eat the same foods, or follow similar rituals each day with food, you begin to crave foods you have labelled 'bad' or 'outlawed.' This can lead to overeating and binges, which ultimately take you to a place you were trying to avoid to begin with. Also, diets usually make you cranky, they tend to decrease your energy, and they leave you feeling tired and pretty irritable. When you get to this point, the diet is controlling you, and you have little control.

Myth #6= Diets are safe and healthy. Maybe a little repetitive (myth #3), but if you chronically diet, you risk potentially altering the natural weight of your body. Over time, if your body weight fluctuates from higher to lower, and lower to higher, your body generally settles at a higher weight than it would have needed to be if it was not altered in the first place. Our bodies become confused, because they do not know if they will get what they need nutritionally, or if they will not receive any food at all. Our metabolisms slow down because our bodies think we are starving. The irony in this is that the exact opposite of what is intended is likely to end up happening.

Myth #7= You need to follow a diet. Here are some healthy guidelines to follow (compliments of Remuda Ranch) that are not diet-centric. Eat a variety of foods in moderation. Having variety allows for you to meet your nutritional needs; we cannot get all we need from one single food, or from a small number of foods alone. Listen to your body, and your stomach. Eat when you are hungry, stop when you are full. You don't need to eat food just because it is in front of you. Find out if you are eating because you are physically hungry or emotionally hungry (more on this to come..).

To conclude, Karen R. Koenig wrote a book called The Rules of Normal Eating. It is an extremely helpful book for anyone who has struggled with chronic dieting, overeating, undereating, emotional eating and anything in between. I wrote a post on her book awhile back and provided some suggestions that she outlines in her book as they relate to 'normal eating.'. Follow this link for more information.

Brothers

I have been wanting to see the movie Brothers, so I finally went and saw it the other night! It's a powerful movie starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Natalie Portman and Tobey Maguire that examines the effects (mostly psychological) of war on one's family and its impact on familial relationships. Because this is not Rotten Tomatoes, the movie review website :), I will refrain from giving you a play by play on the movie - but if you are interested, follow this link to read some reviews. The reason I bring up this movie is not because I just want to talk about the movie... Rather, I had an interesting observation as I watched it that got me thinking more about the way that men and women are portrayed in the media, specifically as it relates to body image.

In this movie, Toby Maguire plays a Marine who is held as a prisoner of war. He is tortured and starved. For the role, he had to lose a considerable amount of weight. I noticed that he looked significantly underweight throughout the movie, and my friend who I was with noticed this too. Well, when I got home, I wanted to read some reviews about the movie because 1) i'm kind of a nerd, but 2) it had a pretty powerful message and I was curious how other people had interpreted its meaning. In the process, I came across some interviews done by Maguire where he discussed how he was required to lose a substantial amount of weight for the role. He mentioned that he only had a couple of weeks to drop the weight, and while he did consult a nutritionist one time before he began his weight loss, he admitted that he used very unhealthy means to reach his goal.

I guess what struck me about this is the fact that a majority of Hollywood actresses are significantly underweight all the time, and for the most part, the media views this as 'normal.' While magazines may write stories about which actress used which diet to lose weight fast, you typically hear stories about women being praised for losing drastic amounts of weight, even if it is unhealthy. I think what this illustration demonstrates is that when a woman is underweight, it is not really newsworthy because it is sort of an expectation as the ideal standard of beauty, whereas when a man loses too much weight, it is recognized as unhealthy-- it is assumed that he will return to his normal, healthy weight once the filming for his movie has reached completion. Why is it that we can recognize unhealthy weight and disordered behaviors in men and fail to do so with women? Being silent communicates acceptance, so when an actress is too thin, is cast in movies and people rave about her beauty, it sends a message that she is beautiful and okay. This message is a dangerous one.

I guess the culmination of my thoughts on Tobey Maguire amounted to more confirmation of my desire to increase awareness of the ways in which the media can be confusing and tricky with their double standards and messages. I think it is important to be aware of these mixed messages so as to avoid buying into the values and deceptions in them. I have mentioned the organization About-Face before in another post (click here to read it). It's main goal is to promote health by helping women to resist damaging messages from the media about their bodies and self-esteem. I recommend checking it out! To access their website, follow this link. In the mean time, be discerning as you interact with culture and media, and do not be afraid to be critical about what you see and observe...

GoodSearch: Raise Money for Eating Disorder Non-Profits With a Click of Your Mouse

An acquaintance of mine who works at a non-profit organization recently pointed out something amazing to me- GoodSearch. It is a search engine powered by Yahoo that can be used to search for anything online. What makes this search engine unique is that you can select a non-profit organization of your choice each time that you perform a search and money is donated to that non-profit! Each time you perform a search! Pretty incredible! The only minor catch is that GoodSearch has a pre-approved list of non-profits (86,389 to be exact) from which you can choose, which means your particular cause may not be listed; however, if you have a non-profit that you wish to add, you can submit it for approval. It might sound a little too easy... perform a search online, raise money! But it's not! :) A portion of the money that is generated from advertising is sent to the non-profit that you have selected. GoodSearch's mission is to help people support their favorite causes, charities and/or non-profits by doing a simple, everyday task.

If you would like to raise money to fund eating disorder research, or to support eating disorder/body image non-profit organizations, here are some of the non-profits already approved:

• National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Eating Disorders (ANAD)
• National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA)
• National Association for Males with Eating Disorders (NAMED)
• The Body Positive
• The Joy Project (MN)

To read more about this site, click HERE. And to use the search engine, follow THIS LINK.

You'd Be So Pretty If....

The title of this blog post sounds a little terrible, right? I actually ripped off the title from the name of a book that I recently came across!! And for the record, the book is anything but terrible :). Dara Chadwick has written a book called You'd Be So Pretty If...: Teaching Our Daughters to Love Their Bodies--Even When We Don't Love Our Own, and she also writes a blog with the same title. She recently posted a few tips for modeling positive body image that I want to share because I think they are great. I would also like to point out that even if you are not a mother, or you are a mother and do not have daughters, this information is still really applicable. We may not have daughters (who are therefore influenced by the views we have of our own bodies), but we certainly impact the people in our lives (especially and specifically other women) based on the ways that we see ourselves. It is interesting to consider how learning to accept ourselves can actually help others to accept themselves as well.

So, while this may sound easier in theory than in practice (like a LOT of things!), here are five things that you can try (compliments of Dara Chadwick), that no matter how you feel about your body, may help you learn self-acceptance, as well as model it to others!

1: Silence the Critic. If you tend to say negative things about your body, criticize certain features you dislike or are not comfortable with, or make jokes about yourself, stop. Whenever you notice that you are doing this, stop yourself.

2: Act "as if." Imagine how you might feel or act differently if you were your ideal size or shape. Would you participate in different activities? Say hello to more people? Buy a certain style of clothing? If so, act out your feelings or engage in those activities and see if you notice a change in how you feel or how others respond to you. (Hint- you most likely will!)

3: Choose one thing. Focus on making one healthy choice each day- whether it is eating your breakfast, taking the stairs up one floor instead of the elevator, etc..

4: Be OK with change. Focus on being the healthiest, most content version of yourself that you can be. We all change as we get older, and as we go through different life experiences, our bodies change. Appreciating what our bodies do for us, considering the purposes that our arms/legs/hips/etc serve, and recognizing how functional they are can help us to accept our bodies/body parts rather than criticize them.

5: Find your own body image role models. Find women who model a healthy, positive attitude that you admire and respect. Maybe it's Scarlett Johansson, Kate Winslet, a friend who exudes confidence and charm, or a friend whose personal style you admire. By holding up a role model of unattainable perfection, we struggle to accept ourselves because we are never able to reach this ideal.

While change is often tough because it requires extra effort, energy, and a lot of extra thought, I believe it is worth it. It is worth it for us to accept ourselves, to feel good about ourselves and our bodies, and to encourage other women (friends, sisters, daughters) to accept themselves as well. For more on Dara Chadwick, follow this link.