Love Yourself.

I just read this opinion piece on CNN.com about dieting and wanted to highlight it because it is definitely worth the read (and it fits in especially well with all my recent posts about dieting and New Year's resolutions!!). Dr. Leo Buscaglia's quote above is also one that you may want to go back and re-read a few times after you read this article as well! Anyways, the author of this piece, Dr. Divya Kakaiya, is a psychologist who has been treating eating disorders since 1985; she is also the clinical director and founder of Healthy Within, an eating disorder treatment center in San Diego. Her main premise in this article: don't diet. While she writes from the perspective that dieting mothers do not set a good precedent for their children, whether or not you are a mother does not make this article more or less relevant. I would encourage everyone to check it out. You can follow the link above, or read it below. Enjoy! :)

Welcome to 2010. What is your New Year's resolution? Are you planning on investing more money into the annual $40 billion dieting industry? If so, please think again.

As we start our work week, many of us are looking in the mirror and saying "Yuck. I feel fat, uncomfortable and need to go on a diet."

Dieting and the language of "fat" have become so normal that we don't think twice before we say, "I have to go on a diet, I have gained so much weight."

If we are parents of teenagers, we may as well be saying to them, "Change yourself, fix your body. You're not perfect and never will be." Is this how we want to empower our youth?

You spend countless hours raising your child with the values of honesty, integrity and the importance of the work ethic. But if you are dieting and complaining about how fat you are, you could be putting your teenager at risk for an eating disorder. As a psychologist who has been treating eating disorders since 1985, I worry that there could be a connection between dieting parents and teenagers who develop anorexia or bulimia.

The 6-year-old girl who is watching her mother suck in her stomach in front of the mirror is going to look at her belly poking out and immediately think that she is fat.

How awful that we just inadvertently planted the seed of lifelong discontent with her body into the innocent mind of a 6-year-old.

We have to be mindful of what we really want to emphasize as important. In this quick-fix world of Botox, plastic surgery and fad diets, our children are not being taught how to tolerate discomfort and how to work hard and patiently.

"Now" is the demand word that parents feel compelled to cater to. We could be creating a generation of self-obsessed, narcissistic children. Do we really want them to feel that the glamour of "Gossip Girl" is the goal of their lives? We must draw the line by examining our own core values.

The majority of us know that the quick fix is not going to work, yet we feel compelled to throw ourselves into the despair of broken diets, broken resolutions, broken promises and worse, a pervasive sense of shame that attacks the core of our being.

We are so inundated with messages that are constantly redefining what is healthy that in our confusion we forget what is normal eating and a healthy, balanced lifestyle.

The "diet monster" gobbles up our self-esteem and makes us return to that unfaithful lover again and again, only to drop more money into that $40 billion pot. We could use that money to educate millions of brains each year, better our schools, reduce poverty and attend to our elderly.

Of course, eating healthily and staying active are very important. But of those who lose weight through dieting, 98 percent gain it back again in two years. Diet is a four-letter word that begins with "die." Isn't that ominous enough?

This year, create an intention not to diet.

When you do this, you are consciously rejecting the appearance-obsessed, materialistic culture that inundates us. An intention to honor your soul instead of your appearance -- to choose to give back in the community, volunteer, give time to the elderly -- will make you feel stronger.

Instead of spending time counting calories or going obsessively to the gym, donate those hours to a shelter for abused women. Love your body. This year, make it your intention to teach your teenager to reject the appearance-obsessed world she lives in and have her give her heart instead of changing her body.

Caution: This approach might make you start to love your body and you may waver on your New Year's resolution to lose weight!

As January unfolds, we are going to be blasted with commercials from multiple sources, with each one touting a permanent relief. The net result of these commercials is to get us to continue to hate our bodies so that these diet companies can make money off our body hatred.

There is also a political reason for women to be held to a high "thin" standard of perfection. We are then no longer a threat to anyone who wants power. "Body Wars" keep women in their place and are economically driven.

Let us assert our power by rejecting the dieting mantra, and standing our ground.

Dieting is Dangerous?

2010 is in full force, and I have heard a LOT of people talking about wanting to 'get in shape' and start diets. Magazine covers are spilling celebrity diet secrets, and people are doing health cleanses and detox diets to start the year off healthy. (Just for the record, detox diets and cleanses- aside from being dangerous- are kind of silly; the reason that we have a liver is so that our body can naturally process and remove toxins!)

According to this article, dieting is America's most dangerous New Year's resolution. Why are diets dangerous? Well, for one, they can trigger eating disorders in some people. But diets are also ineffective- 95% of diets fail. This likely means that our bodies are not getting what they need- they either receive too little or too much, which has negative health ramifications either way. I wrote a post recently on common diet myths that I want to re-post in light of it being 'diet season'. I think it is important that people have some facts about diets before they embark on one. Below is an excerpt of the post, jumping right in with 7 myths of dieting- if you would like to read the entire post, follow this link.

Myth #1= You will lose weight. This is why most people pursue a diet in the first place, right? It may surprise you, but research shows that in the long run, 98% of dieters actually end up gaining weight. Why? Because the real issues behind food consumption and understanding metabolism are rarely addressed with a diet. And when unhealthy means are used, the weight loss is usually not maintainable.

Myth #2=You will look amazing as a result of your diet. If your goal is to look like someone else, or to look like some of the images that we regularly see on TV, in magazines, etc.. then you are chasing a goal that is not attainable. These images are altered by computers (check out this video for an example- yikes!). What is more is that a diet will not change your facial features, it will not make you taller, it will not make your legs longer, and it will not make your boobs bigger. Sorry:).

Myth #3=Diets are not dangerous. Whenever you restrict or cut out entire food groups (sugar, carbs, fat, dairy, etc..), this is dangerous-- especially for young people. Our bodies require a variety of foods in order to fuel our organs and keep us functioning effectively. Not to mention that studies show that dieting is an indicator of future eating disorders. A girl who diets before she is 14 is eight times more likely to develop an eating disorder. There are many health risks associated with dieting as well, such as weakened bones, dehydration and decreased heart rate.

Myth #4=Certain foods are bad. Often times, when we diet or approach food with a diet mentality, we label food as 'good' or 'bad.' We may even determine what food we consider to be good or bad based upon which particular diet we are on. The fact of the matter is that all foods are created equal and all foods can fit into a healthy lifestyle. There are no bad foods, only bad diets.

Myth #5= Diets give you control. Having a defined set of rules, especially when it comes to food, may convince you that you will be in control of what you put in your mouth. However, what often happens when you eat the same foods, or follow similar rituals each day with food, you begin to crave foods you have labelled 'bad' or 'outlawed.' This can lead to overeating and binges, which ultimately take you to a place you were trying to avoid to begin with. Also, diets usually make you cranky, they tend to decrease your energy, and they leave you feeling tired and pretty irritable. When you get to this point, the diet is controlling you, and you have little control.

Myth #6= Diets are safe and healthy. Maybe a little repetitive (myth #3), but if you chronically diet, you risk potentially altering the natural weight of your body. Over time, if your body weight fluctuates from higher to lower, and lower to higher, your body generally settles at a higher weight than it would have needed to be if it was not altered in the first place. Our bodies become confused, because they do not know if they will get what they need nutritionally, or if they will not receive any food at all. Our metabolisms slow down because our bodies think we are starving. The irony in this is that the exact opposite of what is intended is likely to end up happening.

Myth #7= You need to follow a diet. Here are some healthy guidelines to follow (compliments of Remuda Ranch) that are not diet-centric. Eat a variety of foods in moderation. Having variety allows for you to meet your nutritional needs; we cannot get all we need from one single food, or from a small number of foods alone. Listen to your body, and your stomach. Eat when you are hungry, stop when you are full. You don't need to eat food just because it is in front of you. Find out if you are eating because you are physically hungry or emotionally hungry (more on this to come..).

To conclude, Karen R. Koenig wrote a book called The Rules of Normal Eating. It is an extremely helpful book for anyone who has struggled with chronic dieting, overeating, undereating, emotional eating and anything in between. I wrote a post on her book awhile back and provided some suggestions that she outlines in her book as they relate to 'normal eating.'. Follow this link for more information.

Who Do You Want to be in 2010?

So, in my last post, I talked a little bit about behavioral change, neural pathways and New Year's resolutions (yawn- haha). I think one of the important points that I was trying to make is that change can be difficult. However, it is not impossible or too difficult to attempt! I am all for change and love when people become inspired to grow and change in any way- that is one reason I do what I do! I think it is important though to be educated about the process of change as it helps to make sense of why some changes can be more difficult to make than others (which goes back to neural pathways, the brain and emotions).

I am going to rewind for a minute and talk strictly about New Year's resolutions and the pervasive nature/themes of New Year resolutions. If you were to take an inventory of the last few days, or even the last week, how many articles, commercials, conversations or facebook statuses have you noticed or observed that have had to do with weight loss, calories, fitness regimes, detox diets, plans for getting in shape, etc... ? I know that I have seen and encountered countless. I think often times New Year's resolutions are synonymous with weight loss and fitness goals. Out of curiosity, I googled New Year's resolutions to see what would come up, and about.com's top ten list of the most common resolutions popped up first in my search. Up to this point, I had never heard of about.com, but I am a sucker for lists and couldn't pass up finding out what made their top ten. Here it is:

1. Spend more time with family and friends.
2. Fit in fitness
3. Tame the bulge
4. Quit smoking
5. Enjoy life more
6. Quit drinking
7. Get out of debt
8. Learn something new
9. Help others
10. Get organized

It didn't surprise me at all that two of the top ten resolutions involved fitness or weight (as it reflects the values and messages that our society and media hold), but what did surprise me was that helping others, learning something new and enjoying life more were all on the bottom half of the list. There is certainly value in being healthy, and I think health should be a priority. If this means that in order to be healthy, you need to gain a few pounds, or lose a few pounds, then I encourage you to pursue health. But it is important to view health not solely as a physical thing- our health is more than just a physical measure. It also includes our mental health, our spiritual health and our emotional health. I think before we make any resolutions, or goals for ourselves, we may need to step back to see if these goals are consistent with our values and who we want to be before we move forward with them!

Maybe one thing that you can do instead of making a list of New Year's resolutions is to think about the kind of person that you want to be in 2010. Take a close look at what is influencing and shaping you as a person. Is it friends? Is it the media? Is it God? Is it family? It might be helpful to consider the sources of influence in your life, and decide if they are positive and helpful in becoming the person that you were made to be! I heard someone wise say that whether we know it or not, we all worship something based on how we live our lives and what we give our time, our attention, and our thoughts to. For some of us, there are great obstacles and challenges to overcome in order to be the person that we want to be, but there is hope in pursuing a life that is filled with meaning, intention and purpose. I would encourage you, as I encourage myself as well, to examine the kind of person that you want to be, the character traits and qualities that you want to exhibit, the experiences you want to have, and the life you want to live- and move forward in a direction that is consistent with those things.

Happy New Year!!! :) :)

Happy New Year everyone! I hope that you all had a happy and safe holiday! I am so thankful for this past year of my life and for all that I learned both professionally and personally. I am really excited that 2010 is here and I am optimistic that this is going to be the best year yet. I love that a new year affords each one of us opportunities to experience new things, try things differently than we have in the past, and to make a fresh start... which brings me to the subject of ...New Year's resolutions!

I personally think New Year's resolutions are a little over-rated. And, according to a study I read recently, which stated that 92% of new years resolutions are not kept, I would say the experts probably agree with me (ha ha) :). To be fair, I found many conflicting statistics about how many people actually keep their New Year's resolutions- the general theme though is that more than half of people that make resolutions do not keep them. Why is this?? Well, I am sure there are lots of different reasons, but I would imagine that it has to do with people having unrealistic expectations and goals as well as desiring to make behavioral changes that require the brain to make actual physiological changes. This process which involves the creation of new neural pathways in the brain is probably a topic for another blog post, but I have provided some basic background information below (courtesy of a site that you can also view below) that may be helpful for conceptualizing behavioral change.

Neural Pathways

The basis for working with, and modifying, habits comes down to the creation and reinforcement of neural pathways.

Neural What?

Our brains are made of neurons. If you imagine the habit of putting on your seat belt, there is a sequence of events that occur. You sit, your arm reaches across to grab the belt, your arm pulls it across your body, and then inserts the buckle. For the sake of this example, imagine there is an individual neuron responsible for each step. All the neurons connected together to form this action, this behavior, is a neural pathway.

Once these pathways are established, and are 'triggered', they function automatically. Depending on how they were created, and what reinforcement they have had, they can be very difficult to change.

Behaviors, Habits and Beliefs

If you consider a simple habit, like locking the door or putting your seatbelt on once you get in your car, it is an automatic function. You do not consciously think about doing it. It is a dominant neural pathway generally created via repetition. Most people can change this habit given time and reason. People that have had a traumatic event around one of these functions, such as being followed to their car or experiencing an auto accident, may have a much more difficult time changing this habit. Their neural pathway was created by repetition and reinforced by strong emotion. If they were to try changing this behavior, they would be working 'against' a dominant neural pathway with a strong emotional association.

To find out more info about the brain and behavioral change, and how neural pathways are created and re-created, click here! Very interesting stuff. And on a side note, you may get where I am going with this as it relates to eating disorders and eating disorder behaviors.... but the habits and repetitious nature of particular compensatory behaviors (purging, etc) make change very difficult. More on this later, but this is an important physiological piece in eating disorder treatment/recovery and so I want to come back to this! I do want to say that this information is is no way meant to provide an out for people in that it relieves one of taking responsibility for his or her actions, but it is important for us all to be educated about the process of change and how truly difficult it is! I don't know of many who think that change is a simple process, but this provides more evidence that change is not typically an easy 'snap your fingers and voila' kind of process.

So, what does this all have to do with New Year's resolutions and more importantly, body image and weight? Great question! :) I am going to follow up with another post on this shortly. I sort of got sidetracked on the neural pathway train, but my thought process is that culturally we all tend to make various resolutions for the new year, and I wanted to examine this process.... especially since most people have resolutions that involve going to the gym more, losing weight, ... resolutions that are focused on weight and our bodies. If you are reading this, please check back in soon for more on resolutions!! And again, Happy New Year!!!!

ps- the site used in this post as a mini tutorial on neural pathways is a hypnosis site- as a disclaimer, i do not use hypnosis nor do i know much about it. i am not promoting hypnosis, i simply appreciated the clear and simple manner in which this site detailed information on neural pathways!

Recovery- Part 2... Shine Your Light

If you or someone that you know is in recovery from an eating disorder, here is an awesome opportunity... so please take note!!

The Renfrew Center Foundation is offering a FREE seminar on January 5, 2010 at 9 different locations. The seminar is entitled Home for the Holidays: Shine Your Light and topics advertised as included for the workshop are:

*eating challenges during holidays

*how to alleviate holiday stress and pressure

*taking responsibility for your own health and recovery

*survival strategies to stay focused on your recovery

*creating and sustaining relationships at home, work and school.

For a little background.. The Renfrew Center was the first freestanding facility in the US for specifically treating eating disorders, and they now have seven facilities in five different states. The Renfrew Center Foundation is a non-profit organization that serves to educate and train professionals, promote healthy body image, conduct research, advocate and educate policy makers, and provide assistance for women and girls. It receives its funding from The Renfrew Center, as well as private donors. The Renfrew Center and The Renfrew Center Foundation are committed to raising awareness about eating disorders as well as treating them; together they have had a significant impact on the lives of many young girls and women.

If this interests you, these FREE workshops are being held in Radnor, PA; Coconut Creek, FL; New York, NY; Ridgewood, NJ; Wilton, CT; Bethesda, MD; Charlotte, NC; Brentwood, TN; Dallas, TX. If you are close to one of these locations or desire to travel to one of them and are interested in attending, follow this link to register. If you are interested in attending the Florida location, click here as the registration is different.