Accentuate the Positive

I may or not have just spent the last ...ohhh 10 minutes googling the phrase 'Accentuate the Positive+ Disney movie' .... And apparently, I'm not the only person who has performed this google search!! It appears that a lot of other people have Asked Jeeves and ChaCha the same thing, and haven't been able to get a straight answer. I am so confused right now. Haha. Anyways, the point is that I have had this song stuck in my head for a few weeks, and the best I could come up with is this video below of Bette Midler and Bing Crosby singing this song together. It is just sooo bizarre to me because I have never heard them sing this song in my life (to my knowledge). I have no clue why, how or where this song popped into my head. I am absolutely convinced that it was played in some movie I watched when I was a kid.. the closest thing to it that I could think of was 'Bare Necessities' which was in the Jungle Book, but that is not it.  






Anyways, tangent! The purpose of me bringing this song up in the first place has to do with the power of positive thinking-- and talking. Let me clarify though because I am not really referring to the kind of positive thinking that 'The Secret'  promotes... that putting positive energy out into the universe yields positive events, etc. I'm just talking about plain old positivity. How often have you been around someone that is cheerful, positive, friendly and genuinely complimentary of people, and just felt really good after spending time being around that person? Likewise, have you ever been around someone who is negative or critical of themselves or others, and always has a negative comment about something? How does it make you feel?

Over the past few months, I have become really aware of the power and influence that people have to either build you up and make you feel good and positive (not just about yourself but about life in general), or uncomfortable, insecure, and/or self-critical. This relates to body image in that when we fat talk ["my butt is huge", "i can't believe i ate that", "i feel soo fat right now", "that person is so skinny, i'm jealous", "i'll never have the body i want", "that girl's body is perfect", etc..], we are automatically influencing and impacting the people that are around us, whether we intend it or not. While we may just be thinking of ourselves when we make such comments, we are putting others in a position to consider those same questions or concerns that are usually unhealthy and unproductive. It's okay to have a vent session sometimes, no one is perfect of course, but even if for the sake of others, consider the words that come out of your mouth! I think it is awesome that we can use our words to build people up. Pointing out the positive things in any given situation, voicing good traits about people instead of annoying ones :-), noticing beauty of all kinds, being able to appreciate it and include others in it... These are all ways that one person can make a difference. Try it!

The World Has Curves

What a cool name for a book! Apparently I'm a little late to the party, because this book, The World Has Curves: The Global Quest for the Perfect Body, has been out for about 2 years. I came across it the other day for the first time. It is written by Julia Savacool, who interviewed nearly 100 women in eight different countries to examine what beauty around the world looks like. This sounds a lot like Jessica Simpson's VH1 show, The Price of Beauty, that was on awhile back (I wrote about it here). Anyways, while I haven't read this book yet, I am looking forward to checking it out! Stay tuned for a summer reading list I may post on here soon. 


As I've said, while I haven't read this book (yet), I have read a few reviews, as well as an interview that Savacool gave. Below are some snippets that I think are worth sharing!


South Africa: "When you lose a lot of weight there, people immediately start asking if you're sick," Savacool said. The spread of AIDS has caused thinness to be associated with illness. An interesting consequence  is that Levi's [denim] have begun selling a special cut of jeans to flatter curvier South Africans; the style is not yet available in the United States (lemondrop.com).


Jamaica: Curves are most definitely embraced, but naturally thin women are occasionally driven to consume high-fat 'chicken pills' in an effort to gain weight. For young women in Jamaica, it's socially essential to have curves as the most popular dance style relies heavily on shaking what you got (lemondrop.com).


It seems that this book might suggest that female body ideals reflect the social and economic climate of the particular culture in question. This is relevant in light of our own societal body and beauty ideals and how we interact with them. It also provides a context for the way in which we view beauty! This is always a good reminder and something to think about, especially when the weather begins to warm up and it's time to bust out the bathing suit!! For more on the book, follow this link.

Celebrate Life.

I had an experience yesterday that really made me stop and think. I had a free hour in my schedule allotted for lunch, so I sat on the comfy red couch in my office, ate my lunch, caught up on some emails.. and then read a story that both broke my heart and inspired me. I happened to be reading a blog post about a particular blogger's neighbor (blogger in question, Caitlyn Boyle- author/creator of Operation Beautiful)... these two women were gardening in their yards and began talking.. and Tonya, Caitlyn's neighbor, revealed that she was having a 'cancer party.' Cancer party?! Caitlyn thought that this meant that Tonya was hosting a fundraising event to benefit cancer patients/research.. when in fact, Tonya shared with her that she was actually diagnosed one week prior with an inoperable brain tumor. The words of this 32 year old woman, wife and mother of a 2 year old and a 3 year old: "I'm still trying to wrap my mind around things but I feel so positive and trust that God will take care of me and my family. I wanted to throw a party to celebrate life."   


At this point in the story, I was getting off the couch in my office, reaching for the kleenex and making sure my mascara wasn't smearing across my face. Apparently she had been experiencing migraines for quite some time, and after going through different medical tests, a tumor was found. Her medical expenses, transportation, and childcare (as a result of the tumor), etc. are beyond what she and her husband can afford. The medical costs could exceed upwards of 100k. If you are interested in reading more about her or donating anything to help her, you can find out more and how to do so here.


I think what touched me so much about this story is that Tonya's response to her diagnosis was to celebrate life. Her attitude is so remarkable in that it is one of gratitude in the face of extremely scary, overwhelming and uncertain circumstances. I felt (and still feel) impacted by her attitude in such a powerful way.. and have been reminded again what it looks like to live a life that is characterized by gratitude. This was also a great reminder to me that we don't choose our circumstances, but we certainly choose our actions, reactions and responses to such circumstances. Our responses reveal so much about our character and who we are as people! One thing that I'm all about promoting is a healthy beauty ideal, and I would say Tanya is beautiful. I love this quote by Roald Dahl- "A person who has good thoughts can never be ugly... If you have good thoughts, they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely." A good attitude, good thoughts and a smile= beauty.

photo credit: weheartit.com

On this day, I want to celebrate the life of my mother, who is beautiful, lives a life of gratitude and serves others well. Today, consider all that you have to be thankful for and take joy in those things. We are only given one day at a time.. take each day and celebrate the life you have been given. 

Happy Birthday Mom !!!

This post concludes my three part post on RECOVERY! If you missed the first two, check them out here and here. I started this series after a reader asked a question about whether or not full recovery from an eating disorder is possible. I thought it would be interesting to compile a list of quotes from professionals and share their responses! 

"As former eating disorder sufferers, Liana and I feel that a full recovery is absolutely possible. We like our bodies, we eat when we're hungry and stop when we're full, and we think about more pressing issues than the number on the bathroom scale. We also think its important that people continue to push themselves in recovery until they ARE at that place. It is very easy to become complacent, but you can be 100% recovered if you fight 100% of the eating disorder. It often takes many years, but it is very possible and very worth it!"
Kristina Saffron and Liana Rosenman, co-founders of Project H.E.A.L.


"Like Dr. Daniel LeGrange said in his article, an eating disorder is someone's Achilles heel. Relapse remains a possibility for anyone with an eating disorder history, and we would be blind if we didn't prepare people for the possibility that the illness could return. What I think gets lost in the discussion--what I don't think gets emphasized enough--is that preparing for the possibility of relapse doesn't mean spending every waking hour fighting eating disordered thoughts and symptoms. Instead of referring to "recovery," physician Julie O'Toole, founder and director of the Kartini Clinic in Oregon, refers to eating disorder "remission." Just like cancer, a person with an eating disorder can have no detectible signs of illness. Other than periodic tests and check-ups, the person lives a normal, healthy, disease-free life. But experience has taught oncologists that cancer can return. We don't need to be afraid of it, but we do need to prepare for it.

I remain optimistic that full recovery is possible in many people with eating disorders, especially if caught early and treated aggressively. I've seen many people turn their eating disorder from a life-consuming illness into a piece of their past. I've also seen happy, well-adjusted former sufferers relapse through no fault of their own.

An eating disorder doesn't just go away. It's not a cold. One bout with an eating disorder doesn't leave you "immune" to further onslaughts. I have friends from high school who have asked me if I was "over it" yet. A chronic eating disorder isn't something you just get over. It's not something you forget about like the stomach flu or a broken ankle. As much as I intend to one day refer to my eating disorder in the past tense, I also know that I need to keep my recovery very much in the present tense no matter how long it's been since I counted calories or could see my thighs magically expanding after eating cake."

Carrie Arnold, a freelance science writer, author, and Psychology Today blogger.

"I consider myself fully recovered from using eating disordered coping thoughts and behaviors to deal with the stressors of daily life. However, I view the experience of recovery itself as an ongoing continuum and think that the purpose and need for developing a personal understanding of terms such as "recovered" or "recovering" is as unique to each person as the path their individual journey will take. I view the debate re: "in recovery" versus "fully recovered" as part personal preference and part pure semantics and think that care must be taken when placing emphasis on the destination rather than the necessary work the daily recovery journey requires (i.e. reining in impatience and recognizing that there is a reason recovery takes time). Personally, my view of "recovery" aligns closely with that of Dr. John Nash, the famous Nobel Prize winning economist/mathematician who achieved and has maintained an ongoing remission from paranoid schizophrenia. I view my recovery as a remission and that is helpful to me in maintaining my health and wellbeing as the years go by."

Shannon Cutts, creator of MentorConnect, author of Beating Ana, educator and speaker.

Shannon's response struck a chord with me because I have often used the same analogy of Dr. John Nash and his remission from schizophrenia, and haven't heard anyone else use that same analogy before! The movie 'A Beautiful Mind' that was made about 10 years ago chronicled Dr. Nash's life and there is one scene in particular that I have used as an illustration with ED recovery that occurs at the very end of the movie. Spoiler Alert!! Dr. Nash is walking through campus, and he is aware of the delusions that he is seeing (different people that are talking to him that don't really exist), yet he does not stop to talk to them or acknowledge them.. he keeps on walking. They don't have an impact on him anymore, even though they pop up from time to time. I tried to find a clip of it on You Tube because it is a really powerful moment in the film and one that makes a lot of sense when compared to an eating disorder. The bottom line- recovery from an ED is possible. It is possible. Have hope and patience, and seek out the proper treatment and support! If you have any questions or comments about ED recovery, please feel free to leave a comment in the comment section or send me an email at MeredithStokkeNCC@gmail.com. Thanks again to all of you who contributed to these posts :).

More on Recovery..

If you didn't get a chance to read my first post regarding recovery, scroll down or click here to take a look! It is a post that is full of encouraging and thought provoking quotes about recovery. I still have a few more recovery oriented posts that I would like to share with you all, and today's post comes courtesy of Johanna Marie McShane, licensed psychologist, author of Why She Feels Fat, and all around awesome lady. When I asked her what she thought about 'full recovery', here is how she responded- below. 


Is there such thing as FULL recovery from an eating disorder?

The answer to the question of whether full recovery from eating disorders is possible depends on two primary things. The first is: how is recovery being defined? The second is: what is the nature of the eating disorder the question is being asked about?

Recovery is often defined in a variety of ways, depending on the viewpoint of the clinicians involved. For example, some people would consider recovery to be achieving and maintaining stable medical health and weight restoration; others would define it as resolution of eating disorder behaviors/symptoms; still others think of recovery as the change in rigid thought and belief patterns inherent in the disorder; while some clinicians see full recovery as meeting all the above criteria.

Characteristics of an eating disorder play a big part in the prognosis for “full” recovery. How long someone has been ill, how severe and frequent the symptoms/behaviors are and have been, the presence of other illnesses, all affect treatment and recovery. In general, the longer the course of the disorder the more difficult it is to treat, as is true for the more serious and frequent eating disorder behaviors and the presence of additional illnesses. However, this is not always the case.

My own view is that the answer to the question, is full recovery from and eating disorder possible, is “it depends” and “it is possible.” I don’t mean this negatively or pessimistically, simply pragmatically.  

It depends on all the variables, and on how we define recovery. Here are two people we can use as examples: the first is a 16 year old girl who developed an eating disorder three months ago- she compulsively exercises and restricts her food intake. The second is a 26 year old young woman who developed bulimia about ten years ago- she binges and purges 40 to 50 times a day (these are both real people who I have worked with).

Recovery might look quite different for these two women, right? For the teenager we might have different goals for recovery- perhaps full elimination of her symptoms and behaviors. For the 26 year old our overall goals might include stabilizing her health and reducing the binging and purging to the extent that she can have a quality of life that’s fulfilling for her.

In fact, this is exactly what happened in both these cases. With some intensive and relatively brief treatment the teenager’s behaviors were reduced to zero and she went on with her life, much like if she’d suffered from a bacterial infection and it was then successfully eliminated. The 26 year old worked tirelessly (and not wholly linearly) in treatment for several years, including a few months in a residential treatment program. She was able to reduce her bingeing and purging to about once a day and she remained medically stable. When she left treatment she had been stable for over a year, with the bingeing and purging frequency at about 3 or 4 times a week. She had a full time job, friends, and a repaired and fulfilling relationship with her family.

Are these people “fully” recovered?  It’s an interesting question. What might be a more valuable thing to consider is the quality of life each achieved and sustained, rather than whether they meet certain or all criteria for “full recovery.”

And perhaps the most valuable thing would be to ask each how she felt about her recovery. Since I know both these women I can tell you what each said at the time they left treatment. The teenager felt “wholly recovered,” almost as if the disorder had been a “dream” and hadn’t really existed. She was relieved to finish treatment and not need to go to appointments anymore. The 26 year old felt a type of gratitude possessed by someone who has worked extremely hard to get herself out of a situation that almost killed her several times. She knew she still had symptoms, and in fact, that she still met the “criteria for bulimia nervosa” (in terms of frequency of bingeing and purging). Compared to where she’d spent the previous 10 years and where she thought she was going to have to stay for the rest of her life with this illness, she felt pretty darn recovered.

Food for thought, indeed.. Would love to hear any of your comments, questions, or feedback! You can also check out Johanna's blog by following this link. Keep checking back for more recovery posts this week!